re-Printed from November 2011.
I want to fall asleep in front of an open fire that warmed the feet of my grandfather and my grandfather's father. I want to sit back in the comfort of an old wing chair, and snore the contentment of ages past. I want to be accompanied by a faithful old dog, recumbent on the threadbare, once fine, fireside rug, just as it has always been.
I want to look in the mirror and see something of the smile of my long-departed mother's mother. I want to hear the lonely tick of the antique longcase clock, as I take my meals at the table that's been passed through generations.
I want to peruse the faded sepia photos of distant unknown uncles and aunts; buckled behind their thick leather covers. I want to admire the same paintings that they admired; portraits, landscapes, carefully arranged flowers.
I want to pick up the small framed photo of my first ever dog, and stroke his image. I want to feel the track of a tear on my cheek as I remember my mother singing a favourite night-time song.
I want to sit quietly in my warm, dimly lit room, and remember those that I once loved; those that probably would no longer remember me. I want to dream of special times, that only I would now consider special.
I want to be aware of my past, in order that it becomes part of my future. I want to feel that I belong to a place to which I was destined to belong.
I want to pick fruit from trees that were planted by men who bore the same name as me, and grow crops in the same soil that they tilled. I want to smell the same roses, cook with the same herbs, and trim the same hedges. I want to tread the same garden path as those that held my hand; and kept me from falling.
I want to be part of continuity, both past and future, and I want my children, and my children's children to be the same.