Friday 31 May 2024
Gilbert and George.
Thursday 30 May 2024
Careers advice.
How do you get a job with the Met Office?
Well, you obviously don't need any sort of traditional qualifications. What you will need is to own two things; a long piece of Seaweed, and a window (possibly with a view onto a field of Cows).
As all amateur students of Meteorology are aware, the piece of Seaweed is a foolproof weather predictor. If it's dry, the Seaweed will be dry, and if it's wet, it's either raining or it has just been.
The window is for looking outside. Not only will it tell the amateur Boffin if it's night or day, it will also tell him/her quite a bit about the current weather. And if you should see some Cows lying down, it could mean that they're tired.
Yesterday my Brighton forecast told me that we would have torrential rain all week. Now it tells me that the sun will shine for ever more. I have no idea who composes the online weather predictions, but I'm seriously wondering if he/she shouldn't invest in a new piece of Seaweed.
It's OK if you live in Manchester, Glasgow, or Auchtermuchty, where you can confidently set your weather forecast permanently to RAIN, but elsewhere on these islands things are not so certain.
As in Italy where Traffic Lights are regarded as simply a 'Suggestion', in the UK I think that the Met Office should warn readers that their forecasts are 'For Entertainment Only'.
How do they always seem to get things so terribly WRONG.
Wednesday 29 May 2024
Who owns what?
One of the few pickles I regularly buy is 'Branston', which is an excellent product.
However, I now see that the company is to be sold to an Italian conglomerate called 'Newlat Food', who are willing to pay £700 Million for the pleasure.
But this huge sum is not being paid to a UK Co, but to Mitsubishi Corp who currently own the Co that was always known as 'Princes Group'.
Does it make any difference who owns a Co? I suppose as long as the product remains the same it doesn't matter too much, but I do like to think of a traditional British Co keeping, and re-investing, their profits in the UK.
So, other than Branston Pickle; Newlat Food now own Flora Margarine, Napolina canned Tomatoes, and Batchelors Soups; to name only a few.
I also see that our dearly beloved Post Office is to be bought by some Czech businessman called Daniel Kretinsky. Good luck to him!
And, imagine my shock when I heard that MG cars are actually CHINESE. Even KitKats aren't British anymore.
It's a sign of the times that most British Co's now seem to be owned by foreign conglomerates. Even our dear old 'National Treasure' Rolls Royce, and our much loved Minis, are both owned by German car-maker BMW.
Where will it end!
Tuesday 28 May 2024
Holiday fun!
Two of the things that most of us look forward to on holiday are absorbing beach sunshine, and eating out.
Lying around, doing nothing in the sunshine is simply a question of choosing the right destination. Finding somewhere nice to eat out in the evenings is another matter altogether.
Good restaurants are becoming rarer by the day. In tourist destinations they are almost non-existent. The restaurant business has totally changed over the past few years, and most of what you are now offered is delivered to the kitchens in chilled 'bags', or frozen. You would be amazed by how many dishes are now dropped into a 'Hot Water Bath' for 10 minutes, or re-heated in a microwave, and presented as home made. Most of which is on offer these days is designed for the quick tourist trade.
The area where I live in France was always regarded as one of the great gastronomic areas of the world, and we ate like kings for very little during our first few decades living there. Superb restaurants were everywhere. However, over the past two decades things have totally changed.
Monday 27 May 2024
Dog Show (2nd attempt).
So, after the original Dog Show was rained-off a few weeks ago, yesterday we had another go. The weather was perfect.
Billy entered the 'Best Boy' category, but didn't win anything. So, from then-on he just watched from the sidelines as many of his chums received prizes for looking silly or wearing comical outfits.
Below is me in the judging ring, trying to get Billy to behave himself. I don't think he's been so well stroked by so many children in all his life. Children seem naturally attracted to him.
p.s. Yes I know; I'm a bit overweight!
Saturday 25 May 2024
Debi.
Friday 24 May 2024
Mums cakes are best.
Thursday 23 May 2024
The perfect garden.
Wednesday 22 May 2024
Biot.
Tuesday 21 May 2024
Taboulé
Monday 20 May 2024
Our next MP?
Sunday 19 May 2024
Saturday 18 May 2024
Sparra' grass
Being taught how to walk.
When I was still at school, I was sent on a Junior Officer Training Course. I think it was at Catterick, but it could have been anywhere. A coach picked us up, and dropped us off; we didn't really know where we were.
It was a short course, maybe just 4 days; I don't remember.
Much of the course involved military matters, and I will never forget being told that Line one, of Chapter one, of the 'How to win Wars' book was 'Know your enemy, go in strong, go in hard'. I still often bore people with that phrase.
However, the other thing that often comes to mind was a lecture on how to be officer-ish in front of one's men. Apparently this didn't come naturally to some, so they needed to be taught.
An officer needs to command respect from his men, even if they don't agree with him. He should walk with a straight back at all times, look ahead, and adopt an aura of authority. At the same time he should never try to be 'superior'. His men should look up to him as a person worthy of respect.
One example we were given of the 'stiff back' approach, was when walking, and facing another approaching walker, never look away; keep your eyes focused directly ahead. It the person approaching defers his vision sideways or downwards it is a sign of submission/weakness. Whether this is true or not; I don't know.
I often think of this as I walk with Billy. The way people walk says a lot about them; especially men. I observe and wonder what impression they are trying to give; if any. I even wonder if they have given any thought to what impression their style of walk gives to others.
It's strange how certain things can stay with you throughout your life, even things as inconsequential as being taught 'how to walk'.
So, if you see an Army Officer walking straight-backed, and looking directly ahead, he probably went on the same course as me!
Friday 17 May 2024
Have we gone mad?
Thursday 16 May 2024
I think the time has come.
Wednesday 15 May 2024
Beware when driving in France.
Billy's Balls.
Tuesday 14 May 2024
The advent of Summer.
Monday 13 May 2024
Olly Alexander - Dizzy (LIVE) N.B. Contains sexual inuendo.
Sunday 12 May 2024
Remains of the Day
Saturday 11 May 2024
Ye olde clocke
Friday 10 May 2024
The Sun has got his hat on, hip hip hip hooray!
Thursday 9 May 2024
Wonkyness.
Wednesday 8 May 2024
Another problem; as if we haven't enough!
I'm really not all that interested in British politics at the moment. We've had the same government for the past 14 years, and people are simply bored and want a change; and frankly, they don't mind who they get in exchange. They'd vote for a Monkey as long as it wasn't a Tory.
Personally I'm quite middle-of-the-road. There are things I like from all political parties, and things I don't. I have yet to find a party that I feel 100% happy with. Back in the 50's my father was head-hunted by Geoffrey Johnson-Smith to stand as a Conservative MP. Father refused, saying he would only stand as an Independent Conservative, as there were many Tory policies he didn't agree with. Johnson-Smith wasn't happy, and they had a bit of a barney. I admired my father for his stance. No more was ever spoken about it.
Tuesday 7 May 2024
One man and his dog.
One of his best qualities is that he makes people smile. I think it's because he's a Border Collie, and people see him as amusing. You would hardly believe how many people stop to stroke him on a daily basis. He loves the attention.
Monday 6 May 2024
I do!
Sunday 5 May 2024
Cathedral.
Such cathedrals, or any other giant structures, will never be built again. If you're lucky such buildings could be made of brick, such as at Guildford, or Albi in France; or more likely from poured concrete as in London's Barbican. Cutting stones in such vast quantities is no longer viable.
Saturday 4 May 2024
Man who fly-tipped 20 tonnes of waste in Newham jailed for 8 months
Friday 3 May 2024
Damn and Blast.
Ask any UK motorist what his/her greatest concerns are, and he/she will more than likely reply "Potholes".
A few days ago I backed The Compact Royce Mk 2 out from my garage, pointed her towards the road, and heard the most horrible metallic 'clanking' noise from the back right hand side. It didn't seem to affect the car's ability to drive, so I continued my trip amongst dreadful noises, then called my garage man on my return.
A week or so previously I had inadvertently hit a very deep pothole not 50 yards from home, and the shock went right through the car. I now know what had happened.
The rear right hand side coil spring had snapped in two, and my man recommended that he change both left and right at the same time; which he did.
I notice that the pothole has since been filled-in, so there must have been a lot of complaints. The evidence has gone.
British roads are a disgrace. Not only are they thoroughly overcrowded but potholes are everywhere. When driving one doesn't only need to be wary of other cars and pedestrians, one also has to look out for huge regular potholes as well.
The one I drove over cost me 300 smackers! Thank you Brighton Council.
p.s. No, I shan't be asking for compensation; they wouldn't pay!