Guest Writer; 1st May..

I've not been asked to be a guest writer before; after this, I may not be asked again.

P said I should tell Cro to piss off, then he went scowling to the kitchen to read this week's Tractor and Muckspreader magazine (his favourite). I cooked beans for his tea, now he's farting.

A boy at the Post Office called me 'darlin' this morning... I hit him with a small house brick that I keep in my handbag for such occasions. I suppose I'll have to visit him in hospital to say 'woops'.

I hope Arsenal Wednesday beat Norwich Rovers tomorrow... I predict a close match. Arsene said "it weel be a match ov too alves, and zumwon weel ween" 

Off to Warsaw in the morning, I must draw a map. I'm eating jelly babies.  Bye.

Back again. I've decided not to go to Warsaw...I'll buy a house instead.

My grandfather had the most beautiful pair of red doeskin gloves (made in Paris), but back in 1976 he lost them and was devastated! Yesterday I was clearing out behind the fridge, and you'll never guess what I found.... MY GRANDFATHER.

Off to the library; I ordered 'How to have fun in Russia' by Natalia Putin. They should have it by now. Bye again.

Right I'm going now.... come along P.

Bye.

Thank you Cro. (Nicola goes to my hairdresser) xx

I'm thinking of buying a bicycle.