Looking forward

We used to arrive at our home with the grass about a metre high; it was a nightmare. It took days with a small mower to tackle it.

These days, we have found someone who is prepared to look after things for us, and we now arrive to nicely mowed lawn and paddock, even Haddock's is given a trim. The battery on 'Rory', our mower, isn't too reliable, but otherwise our man has no problems. Below is a photo he recently sent; all looks OK. 

I'm looking forward to being in the countryside again. As much as I love Brighton, I'm a country boy at heart, and I like nothing more than the peace and quiet of open fields and woodland.

My fingers are crossed that there will also be some mushrooms about, but it's never guaranteed. I shall be keeping an eye on the weather forecast over the next few weeks. Rain means mushrooms.

I have just one project for this year, and that is to put a handrail on the stairs. Two years ago, I came a cropper on the lower steps, which wasn't pleasant. Both of us now need something to hold onto.

Otherwise I shall be sowing some Bok Choi and a few Salads, and hopefully planting a few Peach trees. I also hope to make plenty of JAM. Our supplies ran out too early last year, and we probably need double the amount. We make Plum, Apricot, and Greengage jams. I shall NOT be making more Blackberry jam.... it wasn't good.

The BBQ will be dusted down, Oysters will be bought by the 'box-full', Snails will be eaten, Restaurants will be visited (They're getting better again), and favourite Charcuterie will be devoured in abundance.

We are also thinking of buying a big green 'Garden Bell-Tent' to accommodate excess Gen-Z'ers. Not too sure about it yet! 

 

And so, it continues.

The Prince of Darkness is rarely out of our News. The Mandy farce has been going on far too long; all we're waiting for now, is for J Corbyn Esq himself to criticise Starmer; everyone else has !

However, here is Corbyn's ex-girlfriend Dianne Abbott (below) putting her pennyworth into the Mandy affair.

Heaven forbid that anyone should think that I am a supporter of the fragrant Ms Abbott, but amazingly she has (at last) got something right. 

I think it's reasonable to say that Mandy has chased after the friendship of the rich and influential throughout his political life. His two sackings were caused by his dealings with dodgy millionaires, and his friendship with Epstein would never had existed had JE been 'poor'. 

Mandy was a member of the Young Communist League, and his dealings with both Russia and China are suspect, and have been widely criticised.

There's not much more to be said about Mandy's ridiculous appointment to Washington, but to have heard Abbott criticising Starmer's judgement is the very amusing 'Cherry on the Cake'.

Some Migrants are certainly more welcome than others.

 

Not all illegal immigrants are criminals, but sadly many are; and with no real vetting system some real badduns slip through whatever safety net there is.

The BBC News was awash last Thursday with the story of an appalling rape here on Brighton beach, carried out by these three young illegal immigrants (below), one of whom was a runaway murderer from Egypt; he had also been convicted of criminal damage whilst in England. The other two were simply 'every day criminals' from Egypt and Iran.

The details of the rape were harrowing. They filmed her, they spat on her, and they kicked her. The poor young woman will never be the same again; she has been left in fear of ever leaving her house. I notice in the image above, that a lot of the smiling 'Woke' marchers are women, and one really has to wonder what they felt about this case; and of their own open-arms welcome to such people into Britain ?

I don't know the names of these three young men, and, frankly, I wouldn't print them even if I did. All three were housed at the beautiful and historic 3 star Cisswood House Hotel near Horsham (below); to the North of Brighton. Very nice too !

They will now serve long prison sentences, and will be deported at a later date (unless they claim that it would be against their 'human rights'). Their own countries will then decide what to do with them. I think we all know what will happen to the runaway Egyptian 'Murderer'.

Nigel Farage has suggested that we stop benefits to all these people, stop giving them nice hotel rooms, stop giving them mobile phones, and charge them for any use of our NHS. Someone I was talking to recently also suggested that they should receive the same punishment here for any crime, as they would back in their own country. Hmmmm; somehow I don't see that happening!

I hope all three are treated with the respect they deserve whilst in prison.

Meanwhile, it might be a good idea to stop importing such people into Britain.

Mint Sauce.

When I was a wee sprog, like most small children, I was given simple jobs to do.

On Sundays, if Father was going walking/climbing, I was given the job of putting 'dubbin' on his boots. I loved it.

Sunday lunchtimes also involved small jobs. If we were eating Beef, it was my job to mix the Mustard. If we were eating Lamb, it was me who made the Mint Sauce.

The Mint grew in a large patch at the bottom of the garden. I would go down, pick some Nettles or Bracken, and return triumphantly to present it to my Mother, before revealing the actual Mint from behind my back. I continued doing this hilariously funny game for years.

I loved chopping the mint, using a large rounded knife to perform a rocking movement over the Mint to chop it as finely as possible. Then it was just a matter of adding the Vinegar and some Sugar, before filling our glass Mint Sauce Boat.

We ate Roast Lamb last night, hence the sauce. Delicious.

WOOPS !

Jeremy Clarkson (who is always right) informed us yesterday (The Sunday Times) that the funniest thing in the world is watching someone fall over. In fact, in his Sunday Times article he even mentioned this particular video.

I don't think I've ever just fallen over as such, but I do remember bumping into a lamp post by not paying attention to what I was doing. I can remember the event as if it was yesterday; and I was only about 6.

This man above deserved everything he got; plus the continued humiliation of having become a YouTube sensation !

Do watch the whole video; it's worth it. But be prepared for some rather fruity language !!!

 

Mother nature

This must be the most beautiful, and uplifting, time of year.

Forget January 1st, this is when the year really starts, with fresh leaves appearing on the trees, and birds singing their little hearts out.

As I walk around, I can feel my lungs being anointed by the healing elixir of fresh air, and I feel rejuvenated.

Of course, I do enjoy the warmth of Summer, the sadness of Autumn, and the crisp morning air of Winter, but what stirs the blood the most is now; Spring.

With Billy in Tow, for our early morning walks, I feel really glad to be alive, and I'm sure Billy does too.

I'm not a tree-hugger, like our current King, but I do love trees and treat them with respect. These old Elms in the churchyard are magnificent. I don't know how they managed to avoid the Dutch Elm Disease that killed so many throughout the country, but they are thriving.

What wonderful weather we're having. It's perfect.

 

Aston 'Family Man' Barrett.

There seems to be nothing but bad news at the moment.

News often arrives Chez Magnon quite slowly; I have only just heard that Aston 'family man' Barrett had died. In fact he died back in February of 2024, but no-one told me.

Here he is in my garden in Brighton, enjoying a 'puff' in the sunshine with my friend, the writer, John Masouri.

Since hearing of his death I also came across this record 'Aston is the Man' by The Melbourne Ska Orchestra. It's not one of their better songs, but it is in honour of the great man.

Aston was a member, and the unofficial manager, of Bob Marley's Wailers. He also found the time to have 41 children; 23 girls, and 18 boys. Not bad going, eh ?

So, a belated 'Farewell' Aston. Your music influenced several generations, and continues to do so.

The voice and music of Bob Marley and The Wailers will live forever.

 

How to save £659,995,000

 

It has just been announced that we will give France another £660 Million over the next three years to continue with their highly successful 'anti migrant policies'. Government supporters must be jubilant.

We have now given France over £1.3 Billion to help stop the continuous influx. It was Rishi Sunak who first gave them £500 Million back in 2023, since when 84,000 illegal immigrants (that we know of) have managed to paddle across The Channel. 

I don't want anyone to get upset, but I'm going to suggest something quite radical.

Rather than spend all our hundreds of £Millions on something that WE ALL KNOW won't work, why not send one of our 'all immigrants welcome' Ministers to Australia to see how their government's 'Operation Sovereign Borders' policy works (above). A round ticket, and a 2 day stay in Oz, would cost about £5,000 so we could make a saving of £659,995,000; which I'm sure would make Rachel from Accounts very happy.

Australia has a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to illegal immigration; and it works !

Can't the UK do the same ? It's only those 20 miles between Calais and Dover that need to be patrolled !

It's not exactly the Straits of Hormuz.

Mo Farah; eat your heart out !

They play chess better than humans, they build better cars, they answer any question I care to pose, and now they are beating us at running Marathons.

When all Robots are Solar Powered, there will be very little for humans to do other than replace all agricultural land and woodland with solar panels and windmills, start pointless wars, and attempt to occupy other planets that wouldn't normally sustain human life.

The more our boffins create 'replacement humans', the more we become redundant. And when Robots become capable of reproducing themselves, we might as well give-up, and become their slaves.

The one thing that amused me the most in this video of Robot Racing (above), was watching the human runners all taking photos with their phones (0.43 secs). It's almost like saying "What's the point of US running, if THEY can do it faster, and without breaking-out into a sweat".

Robots can now mow our lawns, clean our pools, sweep our carpets, do our shopping, cook our meals, drive our cars, and even trade in shares and commodities for us. And I can guarantee that there are boffins everywhere who are, at this very minute, trying to make humans even more redundant.

Humans are in peril; we are no longer needed, other than to be looked-after by Robots. Otherwise they wouldn't know what to do with themselves; nor would we.

Inter-Robot wars maybe ?

 

Two Sets of Rules

Firstly I wish to say that I have absolutely nothing against Asian women running, but I'm not too sure about their racism.

What I did question when I saw about this on the TV News was, would it be allowed to have an exclusively English Women Run ? The obvious answer is No, it wouldn't.

I do remember reading about the National Black Police Association, and thinking the same thing. Would a National White Police Association be allowed ? Of course not. White Policemen would NOT be allowed to start an organisation that rejected prospective members on account of their skin colour, or ethnicity; and rightly so!

In these times when integration is so important, should we really allow Asian groups to separate themselves (by race) from non-Asians ? What do they have against running alongside English women anyway ?

What are they frightened of ? Come on you Asians; white English folks aren't so bad !

PMQ's (Prime Minister's Questions), Mandy, etc.

One weekly event that I try NEVER to miss is PMQ's, on Wednesdays at Mid-day.

Important questions are asked, and The Prime Minister is obliged to give answers. Difficult questions are often sidestepped by sitting PM's, regardless of their political persuasion, but our current PM has made it into 'An Art Form'. He simply replies to tricky questions by making nonsensical remarks about how everything is the fault of the Tories. 

Starmer is not alone in dodging difficult questions; they all do it to an extent, but not EVERY WEEK and to EVERY QUESTION.

Just a week ago, even the Speaker of the House, Sir Lindsay Hoyle, rebuked him for his constantly evasive replies. When leaving the house a short while later, Starmer had angry 'words' with Hoyle; as shown in the video. Yet again he is being urged to resign; but it'll take a lot to remove him.

We all remember 'Beergate' (below), when Starmer went all the way up to Durham in April of 2021, during lockdown, to a beer and curry party with friends, whilst Boris who stayed at his home, in May of 2021, to host a 'socially distanced work event' in the garden of No 10, was hounded-out of office. Starmer amazingly managed to remain glued to his post, having been exonerated by Labour 'friends'.  He has no concept of 'doing the right thing', or even of admitting his mistakes.

The truth hurts, but avoiding the truth often hurts even more; as he's now seeing.

The recently re-surfaced Mandy scandal isn't helping him. He is STILL claiming that it's everyone else's fault, and that he didn't know that Mandy, who was a close friend of paedophile Jeffery Epstein, had failed his 'Security Vetting'. The whole point of the Security Vetting was to make sure that Mandy was suitable for the job; he wasn't, and everyone knew that other than the very man who appointed him. Watching Starmer squirming as he answered questions on Monday afternoon was embarrassing. 

We all knew that Mandy had been sacked TWICE from government posts for lying, and it has now been revealed that he was also a director of the Russian Defence Company, Sistema, at a salary of £200,000 (plus added shareholdings). One can but wonder why they wanted him as a director !!! 

Also, Mandy's own company 'Global Counsel' made £3.5 Million in 2024/25 from Chinese Biotech Co 'WuXiAppTec'. That's a lot of money !!! So, he was well-in with both the Russians and the Chinese, and doing very well from them both.

We now have to wait for the May 7th (?) local elections, before the next opportunity for Starmer to resign. If electoral predictions are correct, I'm sure he'll go. With any luck, we might even have the fragrant Angela Rayner as our next PM.

It would be almost as much fun as having Corbyn as PM.

 

Bhangra

Back in the early 2000's I became quite besotted with both the music and the dance of Bhangra.

I had only just discovered it, and its energy and liveliness became very appealing. 

The dance comes from the Punjab area of India, and was originally a dance for farmers (men) to celebrate the harvest. I don't think it's an ancient ritual, it might simply date back to the 1950's.

I would love to join-in with these guys, but I don't own any trousers tight enough!

 

A few photos

 

With a particularly low tide recently, Billy took advantage, and went for an evening paddle with lots of other dogs.

Brighton has a Pebble Beach, but with the tide so low, the sand is revealed. The destroyed 'West Pier' is in the background.

I believe there was recently a funeral service at the church, then these flags appeared, as well as lots of beautiful red Roses around some of the trees. I know nothing more.

And in the Dog Walking Park, it looks as if someone had a fight with a tent, and the tent lost. Other bits were spread about all over the place. Dreadful mess. It never ceases to amaze me how those who choose to lead an outdoor life, always leave so much litter behind. I suppose the two go together.

And finally, here are some of the Bluebells in the churchyard. They seem particularly beautiful this year.

That's it.

I thought I'd seen it all !!!

I want you to picture the scene. Cro and Billy go for a walk, and Cro has decided to go prepared for almost every eventuality.

He imagines that half way around his walk, somebody's phone might suddenly go dead and will need re-charging.

Of course I never actually carry my own phone around with me (I tend to know where I am), but let's imagine that I find some damsel in destress, crying her pretty little eyes out. She can't connect to her beloved Tik Tok or Snapchat, and her life is no longer worth living.

Then along comes St Cro of the Coast to her rescue, and he offers to re-charge her batteries (any euphemism there Cro?) in the wink of a Lamb's eye (several hours).

I unclip the handy, and attractive, Solar Panels from my handy and attractive Rucksack, plug in, and we sit on a grassy mound together whilst her phone charges, and until she has regained her composure. 

Little Miss Damsel is now so happy that she offers me a Polo Mint; but I refuse and continue on my heroic way; searching-out others who may have befallen similar fates.

Thank goodness for my handy portable solar re-charging unit !!! What would I do without it.

 

Cultural integration.

This video went 'viral' recently, for obvious reasons.

I have to say that since the outrage over the cutting down of the infamous Sycamore tree in Northumberland a while back, this must be the worst case of bucolic vandalism we've witnessed.

I have no idea who this person is, where he comes from, or why he wishes to destroy our ancient dry-stone walls. What I do know is that he's a Fuc*ing Id*ot, and should be given a bloody good thrashing behind the wall, before being made to rebuild it.

Dare I say, but he's obviously not of British heritage, so why one earth should someone who is benefitting from the generosity and liberalism of Britain, wish to destroy it. I really am lost for words.

This is getting (has got) completely out of hand. I hope that the authorities will look at him, and decide that he's not really the type of person we want in our country. 

The little bast*rd. I am VERY angry.

 

British Laptop Day.

I'm always amazed by what I find beside the little Search Strip, at the bottom left of my laptop. 

It's always some special day or other. Yesterday, for example, it was the day of the 'International Bat', which we are advised to 'appreciate'. Whether this is a Cricket Bat, Rounders Bat, or Flying Bat, we are not told.

Somewhere, someone sits at a desk making-up what 'Day' it should be. He, or she, certainly doesn't lack imagination.

They don't mention Saint's Days too much; other than St Patrick's Day. It's usually something like 'Save the Snail Day' or 'National Nail-Clipping Day'. Nothing is beyond the imagination of this anonymous adviser.

May I suggest that we have a 'Pencil Sharpening Day', or a 'National Smiling and Saying Hello Day', or even why not a 'Doing Absolutely Nothing All Day Day'.

It's become one of the highlights of my mornings, looking to see what I'm supposed to be supporting, doing, or remembering. Yesterday I was appreciating Bats, but I'm still not quite sure how I was supposed to do this; maybe I should have consulted ChatGPT for a few hints.

p.s. This morning I see that it's 'World Heritage Day'; whatever that means!

Absolute Disgrace

 

'Public Enquiries' are mostly just 'Jobs for the Boys', with predictable outcomes. 

There has just been YET ANOTHER lengthy and unnecessary 'Enquiry' into the human failures that resulted in a nasty crime here in the UK; yet I have to agree with its findings.

As we all already knew, mistakes were made by almost everyone involved in this young man's life; most of which I shall ignore. 

Warnings about his mental state were persistent, and he was eventually sent to a 'Special School', where at least ONE PERSON warned of the really serious danger he posed.

The Headmistress of The Acorns School in Lancashire, Joanne Hodson, wrote soon after his arrival, that he was 'very high risk, and was devoid of any remorse'. She was instantly criticised by a clever woke mental health worker, Samantha Steed, who accused Ms Hodson of racially stereotyping the young man as 'A Black boy with a Knife'. Joanne Hodson was shocked by the obviously stupid allegation, and she said no more. She had been effectively SILENCED by the Woke Polit Bureau.

Samantha Steed was rightly criticised by Judge Sir Adrian Fulford, at the enquiry, for bringing racism into the case. I don't know what, if anything, he said about Ms Hodson. I expect she was exonerated.

As a result of do-gooding, and various other woke actions, the violent and sadistic Axel Rudakubana (above) was allowed to roam free, and stab and murder three little girls, Bebe, Elsie, and Alica, at their morning dance class in July of 2024. On his rampage, he also seriously injured 10 others.

This young man was so seriously deranged that he should have been locked away in a secure facility for people who present a real danger to society; not defended by wokies who wish to brand everyone who assessed him as 'racists'. WHY are there no longer such facilities for such dangerous children?

Ms Hodson did the RIGHT thing, and Ms Steed did the WRONG thing. The sorry result is there for all to see. My resumé of the inquiry is very simplistic for reasons of brevity, but in fact the behaviour of Ms Steed, and those behind her, was disgraceful. They must understand that not every time that people talk about the behaviour or mental health of black people, is it 'racist'; occasionally it's simply THE TRUTH. Ms Hodson never made any mention of his colour.

Unfortunately there is no reprisal against 'stupidity'. Three little girls died in a savage attack, yet, I presume that Ms Steed continues as a so-called mental health worker. The constant mollycoddling of Axel R by all and sundry, including his own parents, was possibly the greatest insult to the families of the three dead girls; sadly that will live with them forever. RIP.

Duck à l'Orange

I visited Aldi to buy more of their delicious Lamb Shanks, but they had sold-out of the 'wine sauce' ones; then I spotted THIS (below).

Having been around when 'Duck à l'Orange' became fashionable in UK bistros (in the trendy 1960's), I was pleasantly surprised to see these in the same freezer compartment as the Lamb. I put my confidence in Aldi, and presumed that they would be as good as the Lamb Shanks. They are from the same producer.

The two pieces of Duck come in the same pouch, surrounded by fat; in fact they look very much like the vacuum packed Confit de Canard that we often buy in France. The Orange sauce comes in a separate sachet that is added half way through cooking. I found it all slightly suspect looking.

Again I put a few spuds in the oven to roast, then put the Duck in separately a while later to complete an hour's total cooking time.

This (below) was the result. The Duck itself was excellent and just £2.99 for the TWO Duck Legs. The next time I buy them I shall serve them as a Chinese style dish, with Rice and Beansprouts maybe. As pleasant as they are, roast potatoes are not right.

People moan about everything being so expensive these days, but at just £1.50 per person for a very pleasant meal; it's almost daylight robbery. I shall certainly be keeping a few packets of these in the freezer from now on; although I shall not follow their instructions.

Whatever will I discover next?..... Any suggestions gratefully received.

Verdict: 8/10. They need some 'culinary imagination'.

 

Keys

 

How many keys do you carry around with you?

Personally I dare not leave the house without my bunch of SIX keys. 

The front door has two locks, so two keys. At the back there is a locked 'garden gate' and a lock on the back door, so two more. Then there's the garage door, and a private gate that allows me to get from the front to the back of the house without going through the middle.

On a separate fob is the final key, for Debbi; The Compact Royce. But that I only take with me when I'm driving; obviously!

Keys are an essential annoyance. There is nothing worse than losing them, or realising that you've left them at home. 

I have on ONE occasion only, left the car's key inside the car, and locked myself out. So annoying!

I would prefer to have a 'word-of-mouth' system, where I just say "Open Sesame" and the magic would happen. But I may have to wait a while.

Meanwhile I have a set of bulky keys in my pocket every time I go out.

At The Dentist's.

 

A Yorkshireman goes to see his Dentist to ask about the price of a tooth extraction.

"With full anesthetic, and excellent after-care, it would cost about £400" said the Dentist.

"Haven't you something cheaper?" asks the man "I'm an OAP and I don't have a lot of money".

"Well, we could do it for about £150 without the anesthetic, just with a few Aspirins and an ice pack", he replied.  

"That's still a bit too much" said the old man "Don't you have a special OAP rate?"

"OK" said the Dentist "For £13 I could do it with a hammer and chisel, no pain relief, and just a piece of cotton wool to soak-up the flow of blood"

"That sounds fine" said the Yorkshireman "I'd like to book my wife in for next week!". 

For Sale.

I've mentioned before that I've had more work stolen than I have actually sold. So, I was pleased to be sent the below. 

As a lowly painter, one can but dream of riches and reputation. But this is limited to a select few.

Even if one sells something just 'every so often', one can feel rewarded, but when one sells a major work, it's pure elation. 

OK, I may be one of the world's most famous, and highly-collected British artists, but I still have to pay for my private jet, my tailor's bill in Jermyn Street, my grocery account at Harrods, and my permanently booked suite at The Savoy. And all that requires MONEY!

£150,000 divided by 60 years as a professional painter equals an income of £250 per annum.

Sotheby's have promised to send the cheque a.s.a.p. 

I'm still waiting.......

 

Hinge and Bracket

The UK is known for its eccentricities, and amongst our 'musical' offerings were the duo 'Hinge & Bracket'.

Born from the same mould as Flanders & Swann (two men, one piano), the singing duo of Hinge & Bracket were 'National Treasures'.

Dr Evadne Hinge (George Logan), and Dame Hilda Bracket (Patrick Fyffe), performed songs from a previous, more sedate era, wearing their Victorian/Edwardian dresses, and singing in quasi-Soprano voices. They were essentially a Music Hall act, who also found fame on TV.

The song 'This is my Lovely Day', originally by Lizbeth Webb, is from the 1947 West End musical 'Bless the Bride'. A classic for H & B, that demonstrates their style and appeal perfectly.

Fyffe died in 2002, and Logan in 2023. RIP both.

 

University Challenge ?

Most devotees of University Challenge would have enjoyed this edition, and I'm sure they will enjoy it again.

'University Challenge' is a BBC TV inter-University Quiz Competition. Highly contested by all our major Universities.

Just in case you didn't know, the Scumbag College contestants are all from 'The Young Ones' TV programme, and The Footlights team are a group of other well-known UK comedians.

Griff Rhys-Jones plays the part of question-master 'Bambi' (Bamber Gascoigne).

A classic sketch of its era!

 

Victorian Tiled Steps

These lovely old tiled front doorsteps are from a terrace opposite the church; just down the road from where I live. Several of the houses have exactly the same pattern

As you can probably see from the photo below, some are in a pretty poor state of repair (this isn't the worst). 

One of them was really falling to bits, and I was very pleased to see recently, that a man was totally re-tiling it. I stopped for a chat, and told him how impressed I was with his workmanship. He had re-tiled the entire flight of steps; top to bottom.

Each small black and white square is individual; these are not interlocking bigger tiles all put together. The time and effort in creating the finished effect is extraordinary.

And here, below, is the finished job. Real craftsmanship. 

I was about to photograph it, and he told me to come back in an hour, as he was about to grout it. He wanted me to see it in it's full finished splendour! And here it is....

You really would think they were the original Victorian steps; nice job!

Rap 'music'

As news comes of yet another 'Rap Singer' (named Offset?) being shot, in a US casino, one has to wonder why these people are so aggressive towards one another. One has to presume that such aggression is all part of their identity and raison d'etre.

You don't hear of people like Cliff Richard shooting at Elton John, or Vera Lynn shooting at Doris Day, so why do these people, usually with very silly names, all seem to hate each other? Maybe it's to do with alternative 'business matters', rather than the 'music'.

If (like me) you don't know much about Rap 'music', here is a standard example (above) from S London. I think it's much the same the world over.

The clothes are always the same, the 'songs' always equally vacuous and tune-free, the message always aggressive, and the overall ambiance one of anti-society, and lawlessness. 

Smoking Ganga is obligatory, and XL Bullies are optional. This is what certain communities listen to, imitate, and admire! When you see those masked men on their E Bikes whizzing around with earphones on; this is probably what they're listening to.

It certainly ain't Val Doonican.

Sprung

Spring certainly has sprung, UK style. A good mix of 'pleasantly changeable' weather has now greeted us before Summer arrives. Plenty of warm sunshine (16 C yesterday, 19 C today), mowed lawns, and leaves appearing on the trees, all are signs of a welcome change.

Our communal lawns (above) and our private garden (hidden) have been tidied, and a noisy 'dawn chorus' greets us in the early hours. And on sunny days there are plenty of sun-worshippers in the churchyard, bearing their chests (the men, that is).

Our Gardeners, both here and in France, have been busy, and both gardens are neat and tidy. The fruit trees are all filled with flowers, and no doubt 'Summer Dresses' will soon be dusted-down and worn again. In France the front of the house is swathed in Wisteria flowers (below). Sadly we don't get to see the flowers in Spring, but it does flower again in Summer.

There are, of course, new born Lambs in the fields as well. What a wonderful time of year.

 

Product Test

Kimbo had mentioned that he'd bought some frozen Lamb Shanks from Lidl (I think), and that they'd been delicious.

Then, I just happened to notice that they had some in Sainsbury's; so I invested.

Inside the pack were two separate, frozen, vacuum packed, Lamb Shanks in a deep rich gravy.

They needed about 45 mins in the oven, so in went some spuds to roast, then 15 mins later in went the emptied packs of lamb; making sure to keep all the sauce. When the hour was up; they were all perfectly cooked.

We were both very pleasantly surprised. In fact I shall visit Lidl this week to see if they have some; if not I'll buy them again from Sainsbury's. A pack of these in the freezer is an excellent back-up; as it was for me on Easter Day.

The finished dish was impressive looking, very tender and tasty, and no work! If I had one tiny criticism, it would be that the sauce had a slightly artificial mint flavour; but nothing to worry about.

Verdict: 9/10 I shall now keep a pack of these in the freezer at all times.

 

Alaska: Homestead Rescue.

 

Here in the UK there are some minor TV channels that probably have only ONE VIEWER. One such is DMAX; and I think the only viewer is ME!

Some while ago I discovered a programme called 'Alaska: Homestead Rescue'. It's vaguely similar to the UK's DIY SOS, but instead of ordinary householders in need of help, the ones requiring assistance are failing US 'Homesteaders' whose ramshackle woodland cabins are usually no more than falling-down garden sheds, and their 'Homesteads' are more like Junkyards than Farmyards. So, along comes a trio of 'caped-crusaders', who, just like in DIY SOS, promise to make things better in just 7 days.

It has to be said that the majority of 'Homesteaders' around the world, are well organised and successful. But this programme searches-out the most hapless amongst them, for the sake of making 'interesting' viewing.  

I've only seen a few of these programmes, but the lives and lifestyles of these particular featured Homesteaders is rudimentary to say the least. They tend to live off almost nothing, have a few hens, and scatter their collection of scruffy junk and belongings over a wide area. No effort is ever made to create an enclosed Farmyard, where all their barns, animals, and growing areas are protected from the wildlife that lives around them. The very idea of 'Landscaping' seems totally alien to them. When you live in an area that is full of Bears, Cayotes, Wolves, Poisonous Snakes, etc, the first thing anyone would usually do is to create a safe enclosure for themselves, their crops, and their animals. But no......

In many ways I do approve of these people's choice of lifestyle, but NOT of how they go about it. It costs nothing to be tidy, or make your exterior environment as attractive as possible. It might cost a bit to bring-in water, or solar power, or fix the roof, but to live amongst a mess is not the route to a decent standard of living. So they write to Mr Fix-It (Marty Raney, his daughter Misty, and son Matt, above) and they come to help; and, of course, to make a TV programme about themselves.

Frankly, by the time they leave, these Homesteads don't look very different to how they were the week before. They may have a new precarious source of water, a veg' patch, and a few solar panels, but life rarely seems to improve for the residents. In fact the whole TV programme is more of a back-slapping exercise for the Raney family themselves, than for improving the lives of these Homesteaders.

In DIY SOS, the families end-up, after a week, with a completely new, fully-fitted, re-designed, luxury home; but, of course, they do have about 100 volunteer workers.  I think Mr Raney should take a look at a few of their episodes!

A bunch of old hippies with big beards, and a desire to live off the land, is de rigueur in this TV programme. If that 'Lights your Fire' then AHR could be for you! I must say; there's something really nice about seeing people happy to live in tumble-down shacks, even though they're desperate for some running water and a useable loo.

Does 'Homestead' always have to mean 'Ramshackle'?..... I don't see why it should!

Verdict: 3/10 Good for a rainy (Raney?) afternoon siesta.

Cheap white sliced bread

I know what you're thinking; what on earth is Cro doing, buying cheap white sliced bread?

The answer is simple. I've had a jar of Foie Gras sitting at the back of the fridge since before Christmas, and it's time had come. We ate it as an entrée on Good Friday, accompanied by lightly toasted 'white'. 

Toast made with sliced white bread is perfect with Foie Gras, as it doesn't detract from the subtle flavour.

I can't remember the last time I bought cheap white sliced bread, it must have been decades ago.

I had totally forgotten what this stuff tasted like. Here in the UK I'm used to buying seeded wholemeal bread; which actually has a pleasant taste. This white bread has no taste whatsoever. I have never eaten thin sheets of polystyrene, but I imagine this is what it would taste like.

Having said all that, it is perfect with Foie Gras, or Paté, or even topped with St Agur.

I now have 75% of the loaf left-over, so I shall have to find ways of using it. I shall have some toasted with Marmalade, and even some more with a fried egg. I think to eat it for Breakfast would be more suited than at any other time.

I can't see myself finishing it, so the Seagulls will benefit in a few days time.

Would I buy it again? No!

Verdict: 2/10, Awful; but it has its moments!

 

Easter 2026

 

Easter doesn't mean a lot to me, but these FOUR things ARE essential.

1. At our nearby church they always have a Palm Sunday Procession through the churchyard. They sing 'Hosanna', wave Palm fronds, and parade with a couple of Donkeys. It's a lot of nonsense, but it's a tradition right on my very doorstep, so I always attend. The photo above is from last Sunday March 29th; the two Donkeys are sadly just out of shot to the right. 

The procession consisted of the two Donkeys with VERY scruffy 'stable-lad' handlers, four girls dressed in white, and an unknown Bishop (not my neighbour) dressed-up as Santa Claus. He smiled at me in a rather pompous manner; looking as if he was expecting me to throw myself at his feet. The following crowd had handfuls of traditional Palm frond crosses that they were expecting to hand-out to an admiring audience. Unfortunately Lady M, Billy, and myself were the only bystanders!

2. Chocolate: This year, I bought some cute-looking Lindt 'Chicks' (above). And I also bought some Mieszko 'CHERRISSIMO' Polish Liqueur chocolates, and, as you might imagine, they are filled with Cherry Liqueur. Absolutely bloody delicious; they should be available on prescription for all old people like me!

3. Hot Cross Buns (below): Easter wouldn't be Easter without plenty of afternoon toasted Hot Cross Buns, plastered with lots of good quality salted Butter. (Don't buy fancy buns, the ordinary ones are best)

4. Traditionally I roast a Goose on Easter Day itself, but this year we feasted on Friday the 3rd of April (yesterday); this was to accommodate grandsons' availability. There were six of us around the Paschal table, so my 4 kg Goose was perfect (hopefully with a few scraps left over for sandwiches). Goose is certainly amongst my favourite Easter goodies, but they're definitely more carcass than meat. However, the bones make great stock!

That's it. Easter is over for another year. The Donkeys have been returned to their field, and for us it'll be back to ordinary Chocolate, and afternoon Muffins for the next 9 months. Until Mince Pies and Chocolate Santas appear in the shops once again.  

You thought you'd heard it all !!!

 

Are you aware that there is a proud Hard Left Shoplifting Group in the UK, who go by the name of 'Take Back Power'?..... No, nor was I. 

Their sole aim is to steal from shops!

They believe that 'selling for profit' is THEFT, and as they hate THEFT they will THIEVE to show their hatred of THIEVING. Yes; that's how bright they are! Classic Lower IVth Form thinking.

They will steal from any business that makes a profit; they will attack theft with theft. In other words, they will steal from any PROFITABLE BUSINESSES, whether that be from Harrods or Oxfam.

At present they have been stealing from Tesco, Sainsbury, and Morrisons, where they claim to have 'liberated products for redistribution'.

As we ALL know (apart from these idiots), shoplifting has to be paid for, and a £% has to be added to all products to absorb the losses from theft, making everything slightly more expensive for those who obey the law; and DON'T steal (and, of course, for the thieves themselves). The current estimate is that the average UK family pays between £150 and £180 per annum extra to pay for all the theft. No doubt this will now rise. 

What amazes me the most about these dimwitted 'criminals' is that they imagine that they are 'do-gooders'. Modern day Robin Hoods. No, they are simply CRIMINALS, and should be prosecuted.

When STEALING becomes both normalised, and in their eyes almost 'heroic', you know that society has hit rock bottom.

Another group (activated by social media) are the more youthful 'LINK-UP'. They arrange online to gather in a particular spot, then go shoplifting en masse; anything up to 200 at a time. They choose shops such as M & S, then simply raid, steal, and cause chaos. They are all dressed alike (all in black with hoodies and masks), and are mostly teenagers. They are predictably all from a particular community, which I won't mention. This is a frightening new trend that needs to be stamped-out a.s.a.p. 

If both of these groups grow and continue, our high streets could soon be decimated!

The Theft Act of 1968 allows for heavy fines, and up to 7 years in prison for shoplifting. Expect these petty criminals to receive a good 'telling-off' or 'wrist-slapping'; if indeed they get that!

Welcome to the 21st Century UK.

The UK's expensive mistake!

 

One subject is never out of the UK's news; that of Illegal Immigration. THOSE BLOODY BOATS.

Let's get one thing absolutely clear. The French have no interest whatsoever in keeping all their illegals in France. The sooner they can be shot of them the better. This is OBVIOUS to all thinking people.

We have already given about £400 Million to the French to help stop the boats coming here, and we're currently hoping to give them another £2 Million per week for the next two years. Of course the French are very happy to take our money (remember the EU?), and their Gendarmes are happy to shout "No, please don't leave us" as their unwanted immigrants sail north for Blighty (above).

We (the UK) on the other hand, send our boats into the English Channel to pick them up, wrap them in cosy blankets, and taxi them over to Dover where they are then put into nice hotels and looked-after by the taxpayer.

Illegal immigration continues to increase, so WHAT HAVE THE FRENCH DONE WITH ALL OUR MONEY?

THEY are only too happy to be rid of these illegals, and WE seem happy to bring them over here. So why have we been paying them all this cash?

Can anyone from The Labour Party explain? 

The solution is actually very simple. Stop giving France any more money, then when we pick-up the swarthy-sailors mid-channel, turn the boat around and take them STRAIGHT BACK to where they came from (following EU rules)!

Bring back some COMMON SENSE.

p.s. All French Gendarmes carry knives and hand guns, so why couldn't one of them (there are 12 of them in the photo above) have put a hole in the rubber boat? Answer: Because they prefer to see them head for England; and no amount of our money will ever change that!