Another scandal.

 

Amazingly I was on the side of Rachel Reeves after the recent revelations about her house letting. It seemed to me that the fault lay entirely with the letting agents who should have informed her that a 'licence' was necessary. Now, we know that the truth is far more complicated, and damning.

I'm not at all a believer that all politicians should resign over tiny peccadillos. We'd probably have none left!

However, we cannot have one rule for one side of the house, and a more blinkered one for the other. 

We can all remember Boris being hounded out of office for the silliest of reasons, yet Starmer who visited Durham (under the same lockdown rules) for a Curry and Beer party, faced no retribution whatsoever. 

We also need to remember that Reeves herself had previously been involved in instigating a similar 'Landlord Licence' scheme in her own constituency of Leeds West, which makes matters even worse. 

So far 7 Labour Ministers have gone since they gained power a year ago; 6 women and 1 man. Rayner had to go, Tulip had to go, Ali had to go, Foxcroft had to go, Dodds had to go, Gwynne had to go, and Haigh had to go. I'm now wondering if the fragrant Reeves will also have to go, and make it 8!

There is no question that she has been a destructive Chancellor, but who would replace her? They have no-one with any business experience whatsoever. It's all well and good following Socialist doctrine, but not when it comes to ruining the country's economy.

It's not the oversight that condemns Ms Reeves. Rather like with Andrew Windsor, it's the lying about it that is the real problem. We don't need dishonest people in government.

Do I think she should go? Probably NOT. As much as we'd all like to see the back of her, I think her appalling legacy will condemn her enough.

A Solution.

I think I've found a simple solution to England's illegal immigrant problem.

Overnight (next weekend perhaps) The Army should build a large solid floating pontoon dock on a quiet beach somewhere between Fécamp and Étretat, on the North Coast of France; beside which they would plant a very large sign, such as the one above.

Then, when our kind UK Border Force boats pick-up illegal immigrants heading for England, they would simply steer a semi-circular course back to France and drop them off at the pontoon; instructing them to "Keep walking, The Benefits Office is straight ahead".

There we are; PROBLEM SOLVED.

 

Sport

I would never have described myself as 'sporty', but I did once have aspirations.

As a schoolboy I played Rugby, Cricket, Fives, and Golf. I also rowed 8's, and was forced to participate in obligatory Cross-Country running.

After school I continued to play Club Rugby until my Stock Exchange bosses insisted that I stop on account of my regular Monday Morning injuries.

Later in life I took up Cycling which I loved (I once cycled from London to Brighton with Kimbo), and I occasionally continued with my Golf.

Sadly my sporting activities have mostly been filled with disappointment. I never won a rowing race, all my running jumping and throwing aspirations came to nothing, and my Golf ball always refused to follow my strict instructions. In other words, before any event I knew I would win; afterwards I accepted that I was hopeless.

I have never understood why I was so hopeless. My opposition always seemed far less capable than myself, yet they always succeeded where I failed. 

I have never stood on that top step of the podium. I have never had a shiny medal around my neck. And I have no silver trophies on my mantlepiece. 

If there was a prize for Dog Walking, I might be awarded a 'commendation' rosette, just for my persistence, but it would never be gold silver or bronze. If there was a competition for 'Shopping-Suprimo of the Year', I might be mentioned in dispatches. And if there was a prize for 'Day-Dreaming' I might come close to an award. 

However, having said all that, in Summer when I participate in my daily Swimming competitions, I ALWAYS WIN. But, as I'm the sole competitor, the outcome is inevitable.

 

Lamb Tagine

I have said many times how amazed I am by the things that people discard here in Brighton (and probably everywhere else). Favourites include Ironing Boards and Office Chairs. However, I've also found really nice picture frames, lots of useful timber, and plenty of interesting books.

I think it was two years ago when I came across this BRAND NEW glazed Tagine. I imagine that it was a gift that the recipient had no idea, or desire, how to use.

The glaze is a dull purple (not something I'd choose myself), and it measures just 22 cms across the base. It's a bit small.

For some reason I hadn't used it until last night. It has remained on top of a kitchen cupboard awaiting its baptism.

I made a simple Lamb Tagine. Lamb, Courgette, Red Pepper, Aubergine, Moroccan Olives, preserved Lemon; with Olive Oil, Raz al Hanout, and Cumin powder to flavour. I probably should have added some salt.

Using the Tagine certainly improved the flavour compared to my usual cooking method. Lady M definitely approved, even though she agreed that it needed salt.

The Tagine is a bit small. It's OK for two, but no more. It was given an hour in the oven, and was served with Couscous (what else?).

I will certainly be using it again. THANK YOU to whoever threw it out!

 

'Countryfile'

I'm a country boy at heart, and am generally more interested in bucolic life than urban.

When possible I try to watch the BBC Sunday TV show 'Countryfile'. It keeps one up to date with country matters, and the farming year in general.

This last Sunday's edition was really depressing. Farmers, big and small, were ruing the prospect of Labour's new disastrous Inheritance Tax for farms. There was talk of suicide and despair. One small farmer was facing a tax bill of £1 Million on the imminent death of his father.

Farmers have a difficult enough job. They spend their lives improving and investing, and growing our food, only to find that some 'class war' urban lovies want to bleed them dry, and force them to sell their farms. How crazy is that!

Country people are so angry that words cannot describe their feelings. I just hope that, after seeing that programme, both The Tories and Reform UK will declare that they will immediately reverse this destructive policy. This poor man below, who was on Sunday's programme, was typical of the interviewees.

Our problem in the UK is that we have a Socialist government with little or no business experience, absolutely no knowledge of farming life, and a hatred of hard-working farmers who they mistakenly see as being 'Hunting Shooting Fishing Wealthy Country Squires'. I think it's about time that Reeves or Starmer spent a few days on a working farm.

This is without doubt the most disastrous Political Policy of recent times. Tragic.

Those embarrassing photos

I can't count the amount of times I've laughed (or despaired) at the TV, or my laptop, when I see images that I just know that people will seriously regret later in their lives.

I suppose the classic current ones are young men sporting the 'Meet Me at McDonalds' hairstyle; a disheveled mop of hair hanging over their forehead and eyes. What ARE they thinking! 

This one above is another classic of its type. Wedding photos are invariably spoilt by scruffy 'grooms', and one has to feel so sorry for the bride that her big day photo was ruined by a groom who forgot to wash and comb his hair, and was trying to blur his memory by swigging beer from a bottle. Others have scruffy untied ties, or old tracksuits; the possibilities are endless. 

This wedding above was apparently this man's FIFTH, so he probably didn't care that much.

We all have photos that we would love to eradicate. I personally have plenty where I'm holding a cigarette, which I don't like. Women tend to dislike more than men because they were caught unawares, NOT looking like Brigitte Bardot.

 

Of course, celebs, politicians, etc, all live in fear of photographers. Miliband and his Bacon Sandwich, Kinnock on Brighton Beach, Boris hanging from a zip wire, Ed Davey on the water, etc, etc. They have to be on their guard at all times.

These days with 'deep fake' and AI, one can make almost any photo into something it isn't. This can be fun, but it can also be very disturbing. Maybe AI could even make the chap above have his hair washed and combed, and the bottle removed.

 

The Sketch Show - I Can't Believe it's....

Very rarely do I see a comedy sketch that I really would loved to have written myself; but this is one!

Does comedy get any better than this? I laughed my cotton socks off.

Billy's new girlfriend.

I must apologise for the dreadful quality of this photo, but it was dark, and was taken through a double-glazed glass window; not ideal.

Just before Kimbo came for breakfast yesterday morning this lovely Fox turned-up, and she and Billy looked at each other through the window. I always leave the gate open for Kimbo, and she obviously took advantage. Later, when Kimbo was helping with some online stuff, she turned up again and came right inside onto our little patio, putting her nose up against the glass. Unfortunately, as soon as he told me that she was there, I turned around to look, and I just saw her tail as she left.

It looks as if Billy and her are good friends, and she (I'm sure it's a she) is simply coming to say "Hello". I might leave the gate open more often, and tempt her with a bit of sausage. I do like the idea of a friendly visiting Fox.

She is very beautiful, but any chance of some Border Foxie pups is out of the question; he's had the 'snip'.

p.s. I opened the gate again this morning (5 mins ago) just to see if she would re-appear; she did. I'd left a couple of bits of sausage for her, then when she looked through the window asking for more I went out with another bit. Unfortunately Billy saw the open door and rushed out. The Fox of course ran for cover. I shall try a more fool-proof method tomorrow.

 

Moules frites

I love Mussels, but buying them has become problematical in recent times.

They have mostly proved to be small, tasteless, and frankly, a waste of money. I like my Mussels to be fresh, big and fat, and to be full of flavour.

In the UK I have bought VACUUM PACKS of ready prepared and cooked Mussels in a cream sauce, and only one provider has passed muster.

I've bought some from both M & S and Waitrose, but neither were very good. But these ones (below) from Sainsbury's are excellent, and I can recommend them. They are Scottish.

Each box comes with two vacuum packs of Mussels, and two boxes (4 vacuum packs) are just about right for two people. I just add a splash of white wine and heat for a few minutes. The Mussels are a good size as you can probably see by the photo, and there are very few 'duds'. The chips are cheating 'oven chips'. 

Moules Frites (Mussels and Chips) is a big institution in France; and even bigger in Belgium. Mammoth al fresco evenings are dedicated to their consumption, when 'buckets' are refilled as soon as they're emptied. They are always good fun evenings; but, of course, you have to like Mussels.

As we traditionally always eat fish on Fridays, these Mussels often now appear on the menu. We shall be eating more tonight.

Lovely Jubbly.

 

Vacancy

I have mentioned previously that our local priest, Father Dominic, is leaving us, and heading for pastures new. As far as I understand no replacement has yet been found.

I find this a shame. For anyone who believes in gods and devils, the church is quite a good career. I don't think the pay is that good, but often the accommodation is beautiful, and the work-load not too heavy. There are plenty of opportunities for career advancement, and as I always say; you only need to read one book!

In the case of our local church, the work-environment is also very pleasant (below), and the location envious.

The problem is that no-one, it seems, wants to become a vicar any more. There used to be a Theological College in close proximity to my old school which was forced to close through lack of applicants (the lovely building is now part of the school). My village church in France hasn't had a priest for a long time. And I read in a recent Sunday Times that in Ireland only 13 men signed-up to train for the priesthood over the past year.

Belief in mythology is in serious decline (other than in certain religions), and there has also been far too much scandal.

Perhaps it's time for all the world's religions to accept that we are no longer the gullible, god-fearing, uneducated peasants of the past, and that we now are more inclined to believe in logic than myth.

Most religions could easily become 'philosophies'. Scrap all the Mumbo-Jumbo, and spread the word of how best to live our lives in the service of others. Of the 10 Commandments, they could easily scrap the first five, and simply stick with the remaining five. Maybe this would see a return to bigger congregations; especially if the music was more to the taste of today (no rap please).

So, if you've been ordained, or are simply a talented amateur, and are looking for a parish, may I recommend St Nicholas Church here in Brighton; but not too much of the Mumbo please. Just say 'Cro sent you'.

 

RH

This face may be familiar to many discerning TV viewers. She appeared on a 'wartime related' edition of TV's The Repair Shop a year or so ago, with her treasured doll, called 'Haisi'.

RH (I won't give her actual name) lives locally, and joins Lady M on Wednesday mornings in The Rest Garden (this morning) where they do a spot of 'volunteer gardening' together.

She has a fascinating, if tragic, history. At the age of just 3 years old, in 1939, she was smuggled out of Nazi occupied Vienna. Her only possession being her doll, which had become in a sorry state, and needed the attention of the 'The Teddy Bear Ladies'. The doll was eventually beautifully restored.

We meet quite often, and we wish each other a pleasant day, etc. She's a totally charming lady, and always has a lovely smile on her face. Lady M knows her better than I do, but she knows Billy better than either of us.

I have just discovered that she has the same surname as the English family who bought the Chateau in our village (in France) back in the 1920/30's. It's not a common name so, the next time I see her, I will ask if there's any connection. It would be very amusing if we discovered that she was related to our good friends, who we've known for over 50 years.

This may sound indiscreet, but RH is the archetypal 'Grandmother' we all dream/dreamed of. I have no idea if she is actually a grandmother, but if she is, her grandchildren are extremely lucky.

 

Muffins

There are just two words that personify afternoon Tea in Autumn/Winter, and they are 'Crumpets' and English 'Muffins'.

Just the very mention of those words suggests cosy fires, home-made jam, and (for many) listening to 'The Archers'.

I was brought-up with Crumpets, but, amazingly, I don't think I'd ever had a Muffin before a few days ago. Why this should be, I don't know!

Anyway, I bought a pack of Warburton's Muffins. They looked to me like a flattened soft bread roll, but in fact they are very different.

Sliced in half, toasted, and spread with plenty of butter, and this Summer's Plum Jam, it was delicious.

I shan't abandon my Crumpets, but I shall certainly be adding Muffins to my shopping list. 

And Lady M's Plum Jam (no pips) was the perfect accompaniment. 

Above was my yesterday's breakfast.

p.s. It should be noted that 'English Muffins' are very different to those of other nationalities.

 

Autumn in Brighton

Autumn has certainly arrived here in Brighton. In the 'Rest Garden' where I walk with Billy, leaves are thick on the ground, and those that are still on the trees are rapidly changing colour. 

Lady Magnon is a volunteer 'Rest Gardener' on Wednesday mornings, and leaf-sweeping will be her major task for some while!

My shorts have been put away until next Summer, and my thermal vest has already seen one early morning outing. My denim jacket has been taken out of storage, and my favourite red scarf has been washed. I am just about ready for the colder weather to come.

Luckily down here, it has remained dry, and the storms that hit the north recently, have stayed away. In fact it's still quite sunny and summery; albeit quite cool in the early mornings.

I don't really dislike any season; what I do hate is rain or snow. Since we got back about 6 weeks ago, I have only worn my Barbour once; and even that was unwarranted. 

I've just checked my long term forecast, and there's a small amount of rain on the horizon. Sadly, all our reservoirs are becoming very low, so we do need rain. I just hope it rains at night!

However, we were promised some rain for yesterday afternoon; I didn't really happen. I remain to be convinced!

 

Autumn in France.

Kimbo, Susie, and a friend, are at the cottage for a very short break. Kimbo loves it there almost as much as I do. He was raised in France, went to school there, and speaks the lingo. He loves the rustic lifestyle, as well as the excellent food and drink.

Susie is returning home today, but Kimbo will remain there to 'work from home' until mid-week.

Seeing the fire lit, the candles burning, and no electric lights on, makes me very envious. This is how I often spent my evenings in Winter; just as had the previous residents over the past 300 years.

When I originally bought the cottage (ruin), it was just this one room, with a loft above. We lived about 300 yards away at the time in a big old farmstead. However, even in the state it was in at the time, I knew it would make the most wonderful home. It's situation was ideal, it had never really been touched, and all the original features were intact.

There had been no water or electricity, no floor in the room (above), and the roof was falling in. It needed EVERTHING doing to it.

My original intention for the cottage was to make an eco-hideaway (Garconniere) for the future Kimbo. I'd imagined Gas/Wood only for cooking, light, and hot water. And the water supply itself coming from the roof. Sadly over the years we realised that our needs were greater, and all sorts of mod-cons were added; including our beautiful pool (which is currently closed down). Basic modern luxuries cannot be avoided.

It's as if Kimbo knew he was going to love the house. Given the opportunity he would fly out at least once a month to unwind. When you close your eyes and imagine that perfect little cottage in the French countryside; this is it.

Well, we think so anyway!

 

China.

 

One of the most worrying developments of the past few decades has been the way that China has 'bought' Africa.

They have injected money into every aspect of African business life. Mining, manufacturing, leisure, agriculture, and a lot more. They now run an important percentage of the whole African economy; and they haven't finished their spending spree yet!

They have also been doing much the same in Europe. It's staggering how many businesses are now under Chinese control; including (amazingly) the Data Hub used by our own Government Departments to exchange highly classified information.

Here in the UK, even the famous tailor Gieves and Hawkes is now owned by them. And, heaven forbid, the brewer Greene King is now Chinese. In the motoring sector MG cars, Lotus, and LDV are all owned by China, and most of the robotic machinery that manufactures other makes are imported from China, and contain IOT technology. The list is 'almost' endless.

IOT (Internet of Things) technology is in most Chinese manufactured Smart devices. It shares information through TV's, mobile phones, switches, and even door bells. The information gathering is everywhere.

Even inside government itself a couple of 'parliamentary researchers' have been accused of spying for China. The two men were charged in 2024, and the case dropped by Starmer in Sept' 25. Accusations are rife concerning the embarrassment it has caused in government that Christopher Cash and Christopher Berry were caught spying for China. They had hoped that the scandal had been conveniently swept under the carpet, but it's not going away. Serious questions are now being asked by The Conservatives!

Regardless of all the above, the most worrying move by the Chinese is to build a HUGE new Super Embassy in London's Royal Mint Court.

The planning application has obviously caused concern, and the government will give their approval or refusal before the end of the year. It has to be said that they already have a suspiciously large Embassy in London. With Starmer cosying-up to Xi, and President Xi personally asking Starmer for his approval for the new Embassy, I quite expect China's application for this ridiculous giant spy-center will go ahead!

Best to brush-up on your Mandarin; we'll all be speaking Chinese before long.

In absentia

Just before we returned to Brighton 6 weeks ago, the Apples, Grapes, and Figs (in France) were all ripe, and the trees were groaning. Perfect for the annual invasion of Hornets.

I always leave a few traps around. Simple large jars with a 1.5 cm round hole in the lid, and plenty of Beer, Jam, and Sugar inside to attract them.

The Hornets can't resist, and the traps become filled with them. There must be 100 at least inside this jar.

 

Our usual native European Hornets are nasty little beasts, and they have recently been joined by even nastier Asian Hornets who have arrived from Spain. A couple of stings and it's 'Goodnight Vienna'. Luckily I have never been stung by one, but at the same time I've never been afraid of them. Some people run a mile as soon as they see one!

These days, as soon as the Grapes, on the front of the house, start to turn colour, I take them all off and put them on the compost. There are two small-ish Fig trees reasonably close to the house, and they are both pruned back very hard in advance, so no fruit to attract the Hornets. We also have several other Fig trees that are far too big to prune, but they are further away, and cause no problem. 

Kimbo is at the house for a short while and sent me the above photo. He has confirmed that we haven't been burgled, everything is in its place, and even our new satellite internet dish is still on the roof; and working. Tout va bien!

He assures me that he's not on holiday; but WORKING.

My idea of heaven

 

Providing that St Peter hasn't read all the bad bits in my obituary resumé, I'm hoping that he'll allow me into heaven; even if it's to sit in the back seats. The alternative is not to my taste.

What I'm hoping he'll offer me is quite easy, and undemanding. I'm a simple soul.

Heaven (as everyone knows) is situated right beside our house in France, and once again I will be able to occupy my ancient sitting room. The huge fireplace will have been stripped of its wood-burner, and the fire returned to its original state with metre-length (everlasting) oak logs slowly burning over the ancient hand crafted fire-dogs.

In front of the fire will be a Golden Retriever Dog, playing with a Tabby Kitten (Billy is watching from his bed; he's not the playful type). 

Slowly cooking on the fire are some Lamb chops (sprinkled with cumin powder), with some Foil-wrapped potatoes amongst the glowing embers. There is an open bottle of Pécharmant warming by the fire, and the table is set with antique glasses, and dark green Biot plates.  

It is late Autumn, and still not too cold. In the woods there are Cepes and Chestnuts, and my fruit trees are permanently covered in Peaches, Figs, Apples, Plums, and Pears. Haddock's has come back to life, and all the vegetables that I used to grow, are now growing again. Heaven has no slugs or bugs!

Since moving to heaven, my aches and pains have gone, and I have returned to being 100% mobile. I have also regrown my hair, and my teeth are once again that perfect set of my youth. 

In one corner of the room there is a fully decorated Christmas Tree, with a few brightly wrapped presents beneath. On top of the tree, in place of the fairy, sits Mrs Pins; my daughter's Teddy Bear. Billy is looking at his own presents with his usual impatience.

Later in the evening there is a knock at the door, and I find holograms of my three children, and my six grandsons, all eagerly waiting to enter. We sit around the fire and sing carols together, and drink mulled wine.

I'm hoping that 'heaven' will be achievable. I've not been bad, I've never stolen anything, I haven't committed any crime, and I like to think I've been kind to my fellow man/woman.

It's all now in the hands of St Peter.

Muppets - Kermit - Its not easy being green.

Kermit is a hero of mine, and this song is a favourite.

I suppose his 'green' is in fact just 'individuality', and that is something we all possess. We all live our own versions of 'green-ness', and we need to embrace it.

I should add that green is by far my favourite colour, but that's another matter. 

Life in First Class; all right for some!

These snappily western-dressed private plane flyers (above) are allegedly just a few of the top Hamas Billionaires who live a life of luxury away from Gaza; mostly in Qatar, where their huge luxury marble-floored apartments, and very fat bank accounts, are legendary.

When the UN, USA, or Israel sent aid to Gaza, much of it ended up in the pockets of these charming folk. The UN recently claimed that only 29% of all aid sent to Gaza actually reached the people it was destined to help.

I do hope their supporters get to understand this, and don't simply use misinformation as an excuse for their antisemitic hatred. Most of the money donated to help the unfortunates of Gaza, ended-up in the pockets of those who planned the appalling October 7th atrocities.

This is not to say that I don't have huge sympathy for those who are suffering in Gaza, because I do, but until Hamas is eliminated, the search-and-kill process will continue; but now probably from within, rather than from the IDF. The ordinary citizens of Gaza know perfectly well who was responsible for the past two years of hell, and they will seek revenge.

When a new, more democratic and peaceful, government is 'in charge of Gaza', things will settle, foreign investment will pour in, and they will be able to rebuild a life for themselves. I also hope that all those secret bank accounts will be found, and the money returned to who it belongs.

So, did appeasing Hamas, by declaring that Gaza should be called Palestine, do any good? Did it change anything for the people who live there? Starmer mistakenly felt it would, but by alienating both the USA and Israel, he probably did far more harm than good for the reputation of the UK. But that's Starmer for you; he knows his tenure is limited, and he simply doesn't care!

I do see that already Hamas are sending their militants onto the streets of Gaza in the form of 700 'quasi-policemen'. Anyone they don't like the look of, or suspect of being collaborators, will probably be summarily executed (as above); nothing really changes! The different militia groups are already at war with each other, with reports of several killings.

I do hope that Tru*p's peace plan will work, and that those futile words of support for Hamas from Starmer will somehow be confined to history.

Of course, the terrorist billionaires in Qatar will still have their money, their fancy life-styles, and their fans, and I quite expect others will soon join them there.

Israel will return to calm (we hope), but Gaza's civil war is only just beginning. Any group that orders its foot-soldiers to 'cut throats with rusty knives' is not suddenly going to start stroking kittens. They will simply aim their venom against their own people.

Much more truth about Hamas and its hierarchy will soon be revealed, and no doubt their fair-weather foreign supporters will begin to distance themselves.

There but for the grace of god...

 

We have a TV programme in the UK where a large group of volunteer builders, plumbers, and electricians, give their free-time to improve the living conditions of a deserving person or family. The programme, called DIY SOS, has just started a new season, the first (I think) of which was aired a couple of weeks ago.

Isla (above) is an 8 year old child who has a rare genetic condition (Mandibuloacral Dysplasia?), and she needs a specially designed home to make her life more comfortable; which is what they delivered. They converted her unfriendly home into something far more disablement friendly.

Watching the programme humbled me! I suspect I'm not alone in moaning about silly things, but this young girl managed to smile through all her adversities. It made me realise what a charmed life I've led.

Like most people, I've had one or two blips, but in general it has been a smooth and comfortable life. I've achieved most of my aims, and have amazingly managed to do so without becoming bankrupt. I've done things that little Isla could only dream of.

Isla was so excited about her newly fitted-out home, she loved every bit of it, and never stopped smiling. You could hardly imagine a more excited and appreciative child. Her life will never really improve much beyond how she is now, but it will certainly be made far more comfortable. I can guarantee that she won't moan or complain.

We all need to witness people like Isla from time to time, just to re-confirm how lucky most of us are. And to ensure that we are kind to people who are not so lucky.

I send her my very best wishes.

The Final Request

It's possibly something that we've all considered at one time or another; what would you chose as your final meal before the 'death sentence'?

Most would probably plump for a big juicy steak, or a giant McBurger; but this is a serious business. If it is to be the final flavour you will experience (ever), then the choice must be carefully considered.

As I sat before my breakfast yesterday (below), I thought that it would now replace the Confit, or BBQ'd Lamb that I had previously imagined, and that a simple Bacon Sandwich would probably be absolutely perfect.

One slice of seeded wholemeal bread liberally coated with salted butter, a few slices of perfectly fried unsmoked Streaky Bacon, a splash or two of Lea & Perrins, and you have the ideal 'last meal'. You could go to the electric chair, or firing squad, a happy person (or as happy as is possible).

It's greasy, it's 'working class', it's delicious, and it's served in every 'kaff' in the country. It's even loved by Ed Miliband (below). What greater credentials could it possibly need!

Sunday round-up. Funny old world!

Some weeks are more bizarre than others, and we've had a few belters recently.

The whole world was SHOCKED when Harry and Thingy were pronounced 'Humanitarians of the Year' by some unknown US organisation. Have they been up to something behind our backs? I think we should be told! I quite expect someone will soon regret this very silly nomination, and prize.

The British 'Green Party' have been holding their annual conference. At previous conferences they have announced some very strange policies, including wanting to ban children from keeping pet Rabbits, and to reduce the length of artists 'copyrights'. This year they have declared that they wish to legalise ALL DRUGS (including Heroin, Acid, Cocaine, etc), and they also wish to ban private 'Landlords'. Of course, they don't stand a chance of ever running the country (thank goodness), but one can imagine the MASSIVE amount of homelessness this would create; as well as our streets becoming awash with drug-crazed smackheads. I imagine these policies were adopted after a seriously long night on their favourite mix of Ketamine and Coke.

The Labour party's slogan of 'Stop the Boats' continues to amuse everyone. Their latest policy of 'One in, one out' doesn't seem to be adding up as they imagined. Since this puerile scheme was envisaged, just 26 illegal immigrants (yes, 26) have been returned to France, and just over 36,000 were brought here by our Border Force boats (this year alone); who kindly pick them up mid-Channel, and bring them safely ashore. Like most people, my basic maths says that something doesn't seem to add-up; but then I didn't study at the LSE.

Why was I not surprised to hear that Labour MP Rachael Maskell's "stomach churned" at seeing fellow Labour MP's waving British flags at their party conference last week. "That's not the Labour Party" she said "they're just tatty bits of cloth". How do such people get elected to represent the country that they obviously hate so much?

And finally, Saint Donald of Washington seems to have brokered a peace pact between Israel and Gaza; and good for him if it holds. He is now aiming his peace-making skills at both Iran and Russia. Methinks he may be getting a bit big-headed. Threatening a bunch of Hamas terrorists isn't quite the same as threatening Putin. We'll see.

Canine ESP.

Every Friday morning, at 7 am, Kimbo joins me for breakfast.

The strange thing is that Billy knows he's coming. He sits by the back door and waits for him to arrive. He goes to the door at about 6.45 am; and patiently awaits his arrival (below was yesterday).

How he knows it's Friday, or how he knows that Kimbo will be arriving any minute, goodness only knows. It MUST be Canine ESP.

As usual we have a good belly-busting breakfast together. Bacon, Haggis, fried Egg, a few Mushrooms, and some mini Toms. We talk about the world's problems, and discuss how we can solve them. 

He's off to France next week so our breakfast will be put on-hold for a week. No doubt at the cottage he'll find something delicious to eat instead. He doesn't deprive himself. We could, of course, have an international WhatsApp breakfast together; I shall have to arrange it.

Mutual plates such as yesterday's (above) will have to wait for his return. This one was especially good!

Nose in the Air.

One of the things that has always worried me about Tru*p, is that arrogant stance he adopts. It has always reminded me of another country's past 'leader'. 

World leaders should show humility. They should be modest, and recognise their own limitations, weaknesses, and even their accomplishments; without strutting their own self-importance. It's important that he is 'strong' when dealing with the likes of Hamas or Putin, but don't back that up with Mussolini type strutting.

 

However, if Tru*p manages to broker peace in Gaza, then we must all give him the recognition he deserves. We can all imagine what he said to the leaders of Hamas, and one can but wonder why such things were not said a long time ago.

I quite expect they will now return the hostages (both alive and dead), but will they keep to the rest of the deal?

Hamas only exists to fight Israel, so keeping a good stash of arms will be essential for them. If they are not fighting there is no reason for their existence, and I cannot see them laying down their arms and home-made rockets for good. Like the IRA, they will simply hide, or bury them, to use later.

Tru*p also seems to be achieving his aims re illegal immigrants. I see that he has deported around 500,000, and another 1.6 Million have 'self-deported'. In Biden's final year in office he only deported 271,000. Whatever one thinks of Tru*p (and I'm no fan) he does seem to be ridding the country of a lot of undesirables.

It may sound cold-hearted, but we also need to be rid of the criminal gangs here in the UK. Many come here specifically to commit crime, and they must be shown the door; Tru*p style! I'm sure they could happily continue their trade in their own countries.

We build them up, then they turn against us.

Sir Lenny Henry CBE is a black British comedian; he was very popular from the late 1970's onwards, having made his first stage appearances on The Black and White Minstrel Show. He was loud, over confident, and at times very funny. Most people liked him.

Sadly he has recently become embroiled in a rather unnecessary type of racism. He thinks that all white people should pay recompense to all British and Caribbean black people, to the extent of £18 TRILLON. He claims that we are ALL responsible for slavery.

I recently saw him referred to as a 'comedian and racism advocate'; a slip of the pen that was just about right.

He has, OF COURSE, forgotten about the black Barbary Pirates who enslaved over A MILLION white English and Irish people between the late 1600's and the 1800's. But I suppose for Henry, 'White Lives probably DON'T Matter'.

I find it very sad when well known personalities unwittingly spread racism in this way. Personally I feel no responsibility whatsoever for past slavery. I abhor the idea of slavery totally, but I cannot be held responsible for black men capturing fellow black men in Africa, then selling them to white slave traders; to sell-on in the Americas. All that has nothing to do with me at all. 

However, he might like to know that in the 21st Century slavery still exists. In the African and Indian continents, there are TENS of MILLIONS of slaves to this day. It might be better if Sir Lenny concentrated on that, rather than blaming me, and my fellow white Brits, for something that happened centuries ago.

Sadly, not so long ago he was a well-loved comedian; now he's seen as a racist fool.

N.B. Our current government has run up a 'Black Hole' of about £60 Billion which is causing huge economic problems for the country. How on earth Sir Lenny thinks they could suddenly find another £18 TRILLION is simply a puerile joke. Maybe he's just not good at 'sums'.

Immigrant gangs, masks, e-bikes, and stolen phones!

One of the favourite crimes of foreign immigrant gangs is the Stealing of Mobile Phones.

It's very easy money. They ride around on their silent e-bikes wearing masks, and target those who wear earphones whilst looking into their phones. If you wave a £1,000 phone in front of you, whilst being totally unaware of what's going on around you, someone will come along and take it. It's as easy and simple as that.

Most stolen phones now end-up abroad. About 33% of them go to Algeria, 20% to China, and 7% to Hong Kong. A recent raid on an apartment in Kowloon HK revealed over a Million stolen phones.

The UK based gangs, mostly Afghans and Bulgarians, use young Afro-Caribbean hoodlums to steal the phones, then they export in bulk and receive anything from £200 to £400 per stolen phone. A small amount of work is done to them by the buyers, and they are re-sold, often above the original retail price. They make a fortune.

So, my advice to all Gen Z'ers (and others) is NOT to listen to Taylor Swift records as you wander around aimlessly, and NOT to hold your phone out in front of you, as if to say "Here, take this". 

If you ignore this good advice, your phone will probably be stolen. And don't say you weren't warned!

Such is today's UK.

 

Tom Skinner 'dancing' on Strikly.

As I predicted back on 23rd September, Tom Skinner was the first to have been booted off the 'Strikly' show; and so he should have been!

I think we all know who the next two or three to go will be, then the programme can get on with being a serious dance competition. The dross are invited to take part, only to make us despair during the first few weeks! 

This (below) was Skinner's offering. Abysmal!

Andy Fairweather Low - If Paradise Is Half As Nice

Welshman Andy Fairweather Low began his singing career with the band Amen Corner. He later became one of the world's most sought-after session musicians, and solo performers.

I always think of AFL as an 'unsung hero' of British music. He's still working at 77 years old. This is a modern-ish version of his 1969 hit 'If Paradise is Half as Nice'.

Saturday lunch.

I've always been a 'Meat and One Veg' sort of person, or a 'Hearty Stew' person, or a 'Chuck it on the BBQ' person. But I'm slowly being educated.

This was only the second time I'd eaten at this Middle Eastern restaurant, with shared plates of various grilled meats, vegs, breads, and pulses. 

We also shared a couple of bottles of very good Argentinian wine with good friends who were over from Barbados.

The restaurant isn't too far from our front door (maybe 500 yards), and is basically 'Middle Eastern'; no specific nationality is given. Think Turkey, meets Lebanon, meets Greece. A wonderful mix of exotic flavours and aromas. A real assault on the taste buds. A very satisfying meal

If you happen to be in the area, the restaurant couldn't be more central, but is always quiet. No need to book. It's called Lavash and is in North St Brighton, right by the clock tower.

Above are 'before' and 'after' pix; we're very messy. Just say Cro sent you!

 

Sadness and Horror

 

On Thursday it was Yom Kippur; the most important day in the Jewish calendar.

So, 35 year old Syrian immigrant Jihad Al-Shamie (above), who just happened to be on bail for RAPE at the time, decided that he would kill some Jews. He drove his car into a group of people outside the Heaton Park Synagogue in Manchester, then stabbed two others. Two of those he stabbed died, whilst three others are in 'a serious condition'. It seems that one of the victims was also accidently shot by the police when they killed Al-Shamie.

As with the terror attack of October 7th, such people demonstrate clearly that they are incapable of living in harmony with the people who, historically, have ALWAYS helped them. 

Starmer, as we saw on TV, returned at once to England to attend a COBRA meeting. What he thought he could achieve after such an event I don't know. Stemming the tide of antisemitism amongst the Muslim and left-wing population is almost impossible. 

Yes, of course the troubles in Gaza are shocking, but we should never forget that they were initiated by exactly the same type of barbaric behaviour as we saw on Thursday; only on a much grander scale. Such horrors will always attract warranted reprisals from the Israeli forces; but not, I'm sure, from the Jewish population in Manchester.

Sometimes I feel as if I'm living in another wartime Germany; but this time the enemy are the British people themselves, and the aggressors are those to whom we have given refuge. Just recently we saw a policeman tearing a 'Union Jack' flag from the hands of an English teenage girl, whilst Hamas supporting flags were flying all around. What sort of message does that give?

Antisemitism in the UK has become extremely worrying. I hear that after the Synagogue killings, the Muslim community were out on the streets of Manchester flag-waving and cheering.

Manchester has a population of around 550,000, of which 30,000 are Jewish, and 120,000 are Muslim. Just over 50% are classified as 'white'.

Two men and a woman have also been arrested in relation to Thursday's attack. Al-Shabie himself was shot dead by Police. He will no doubt be seen as a 'Martyr'.

We are living through extremely distressing times!

Winter comfort.

I know it's only the beginning of October, but I have already bought my annual bottle of Winter Cheer.

I've had a few disappointments with my annual bottles of Single Malt, so for the second year running I have plumped for a bottle of Rum instead. I'm not really a drinker of spirits, but during the colder months I do enjoy a small sip of something strong before bed. I literally drink a thimble-full.

So, I recently bought bottles of Sherry and Port, a bottle of Armagnac for cakes, puddings, etc. And a 1 litre bottle of Captain Morgan's finest 'Spiced Gold' Rum.

The Rum is beautifully smooth, and compares well to a good Single Malt Whisky. It's not exactly produced in some tiny jungle family-owned distillery in the backwoods of the Virgin Islands, but the flavour is superb, with very little 'bite'. It is just 35% vol.

I doubt if I will finish the whole bottle this winter; but if it gets VERY cold, I will try my best.

 

The one thing that is 'booming'.

 

The UK's only real booming industry is importation. We import lots of undesirable humans.

We send our 'Border Force' boats out into the middle of The Channel to bring them to our shores in their thousands, then we spend more and more money looking after them in nice hotels, etc. We also spend a fortune on lawyers who argue for their 'human rights' when we try to deport them.

Being an illegal immigrant is the only really true expanding business in the UK. The only one where there is no unemployment. The only one where the injection of cash seems endless.

The Labour Party have been holding their annual conference, and Starmer tells us that anyone decrying the seemingly endless invasion (especially Farage and his chums) are RACISTS, and that they "hate Britain". After such a disgusting outburst by a desperate Prime Minister, I am now seriously considering voting for Farage at the next election. 

Starmer old chap, I think it's about time you started to see the light. The British people have had enough; they are thoroughly pissed-off with you and your bloody woke-folk human rights.

STOP PRESS: We hear today that the Nephew of a well-known Taliban Commander has been awarded refugee status by an English Immigration Judge, and will be allowed to bring SEVEN family members to join him from Turkey. None of these people speak any English, and none have professions/jobs. They have no connection with the UK whatsoever, and no means of support! Can you imagine what that will cost us? It simply gets worse and wokey-bloody-worse.

Those who try to defend the Britishness of Britain are NOT RACISTS, nor do they 'hate Britain', as Starmer suggests. They are people who pay taxes for the likes of him to squander on pampering foreign illegal immigrants, and they find that very annoying. They are patriots.

And as for him sending in his 'Starmer-troopers' to tear union flags from the hands of teenagers (above), this will only make people more patriotic. He can tear down or confiscate as many of our national flags as he likes, but he will never destroy the British spirit.

If you can't see that, Starmer, then you aren't fit to run a bloody whelk-stall; let alone a whole country.

And, by the way, when you said "Stop the Boats", what did you mean? You are paying £500 Million to France for their assistance with stopping the illegal migrants; so how many have they stopped? Are we getting good value for money?

SOME TIME LATER: Starmer has now stated that Farage is NOT racist, and Lammy has apologised for accusing Farage of being a member of 'Hitler Youth'. They're really getting desperate.

Quick wash-n-brush-up.

We have to thank this man for the UK's love of Chicken Tikka Masala; his gravestone is below.

It was he, Sake Deen Mahomed, who in 1810 introduced Indian restaurants into England. These days it would be difficult to find even a tiny village that doesn't have an 'Indian'. We love them that much. 

I have no idea why, but whilst we were away in France, Mr Mahomed's gravestone at our local church has been cleaned and re-painted. Perhaps a distant relation has had the work undertaken. I hope no-one tries to modernise any of the other stones in the graveyard. I like to see the age of things.

                                      

Mahomed's gravestone has a peculiarity; it is double-sided. 

I don't think I've ever seen a gravestone before that was dedicated on both sides; this one mentions both his wife Jane, and daughter Rosanna, on the back (or is it the front?). As well as a son who died aged 12.

Sharp-eyed viewers will see that his wife Jane died aged 3 years. Unlikely methinks!

I'm waiting for some wag to spray 'sore thumb' on it.