Tuesday 19 July 2011

BOOBS!

Allow me to be honest, there's one thing more than any other that's going to get my juices flowing; the sight of a pert, firm, beguiling pair of thrupenny-bits.

Women spend more time and money purchasing specialised equipment for their advantageous presentation, than for any other part of their bodies. Breast enhancements were the most obsessive of all late 20th Century women's obsessions. They were enlarged, reduced, uplifted, and paraded; and the little darlings were spoken about endlessly.

Due to their physical position, they naturally forge the way ahead, they pave the way for what's to come, they part the waves. They are without question the invitation to some Extravagant Ball.

And yet after all this effort, when I'm out-n-about, should I occasionally throw a glance in the direction of an attractively presented cleavage, my appreciation is often met by a horrified look that almost says 'How dare you; Slap, Slap, Slap'.

Yes, I know; it all comes under the heading of 'feminine mystique', but if you don't want to be admired, why go to all that effort? Do up that top button, stay away from the cosmetic quack, and simply wear something less revealing.

Alternatively why not just smile in my direction, and discretely suggest (with a wave of your fan) 'Thank you kind sir for your interest and admiration; they ARE rather nice, aren't they!'.

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10 comments:

  1. Lol O'h Cro you are hillarious,I have 2 cousins that are so well endowed that if they fell face first they would never break their noses,one has all her hardware showing as often as possible and the other covers herself with embarasment and hates them...just the vast difference between them is interesting,one embracing her boobs and flaunting them and enjoying gentlemen having a look,and the other so shy and retiring,I always thought if I could change my looks I would like luxurious hair,perfect teeth and a set of perky well sized boobs and I am probably very normal with that idea,there is nothing so feminine feeling as a little low cut top and a little cleavage showing it makes you have a spring in your step.

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  2. Ah! that male life long obsession with prominent mammary glands. My eight year old has just walked into the room, looked at my laptop and stated the blindingly obvious 'Oh! look Mummy - big boobies!

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  3. surprisingly enough..I have never had my head turned by a pert bosom

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  4. "Don't advertise what you're not ready to sell" my Dad used to say.

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  5. Or put your head between them and go bubbleburbleburble.....

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  6. At our sort of age, we are viewed as dirty old men if we happen to glance at what is on offer to the next generation of dirty young men. It's so sad - all that experience gone to waste.

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  7. P.S. - I'm glad you're feeling a bit better, Chris.

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  8. sadly...sadly...I've never had the problem...but I know a few who do!!!it used to be my pride to be a clothes horse in the days of Shrimpton and Twiggy...alas long gone is that time of the "straight" actress!
    [bean-pole would be another name!]

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  9. Thank you, kind sir, for your interest.

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  10. I've always found it quite peculiar to encounter a well-endowed female with cleavage showing out the wazoo above a skin-tight, low-cut shirt ... bending over enticingly, no less ... who has the unmitigated audacity to act offended if someone takes a second look at what she's putting out there on a silver platter. Don't want it ogled? By golly, don't stick it out there.

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