Three and a half minutes of the sensational 'Island Boys', singing their latest chart-topping, super-sound, global hit, 'I'm an Island Boy'; great tune guys, you make Jedward look like total amateurs.
As internet influencers, I shall certainly be trying to imitate their cool style and look. The only thing I shan't copy is their criminal record; it wouldn't suite me!
I've booked into my local Tattoo Parlour for a whole two months, I'm having my trousers altered so that they no longer recognise a waist, and of course I'm having a 'Coon Island' (Rupert Bear) wig made for when I venture outdoors. I shall also be permanently poolside, and shall invite any local girls who own a tiny bikini to come and wiggle their bottoms at me.
I shall walk with a limp (I already do), hold wads of cash in my hands, and wear lots of cheap gold-coloured necklaces. I'm also hoping to make a bloody fortune by singing an up-tempo, rap version, of The White Cliffs of Dover. My future looks extremely rosy!
N.B. With the US obituary pages filled with the names of one-hit-wonder rappers, if I was these two I'd watch my back. I can see people becoming extremely annoyed by them!