Friday, 3 December 2021

Sound Advice.



In much the same way as I always recommend that people buy unpainted stone or brick houses that are situated on high ground, I also recommend people not to park their cars under trees.


Especially if you live by the sea where there are plenty of Seagulls; or (even worse) Albatrosses!

This person was obviously not able to benefit from my sound advice, and will be in for bit of a shock when he or she returns. 

Off to the carwash with you!

32 comments:

River said...

I have a painted concrete mushroom in my garden that is suffering the same effects from the parrots eating my half ripe plums.

Cro Magnon said...

Birds have no shame. We have some small red-fleshed Plums in France. When the birds poo after eating them, it comes out RED.

Anonymous said...

So that is what English chips look like after seagull processing.

Ursula said...

Blame the parents. They didn't potty train their offspring.

One hilarious dilemma of parking when it's baking hot: Do you park under a tree (shade) and live with the birds' "fall out" or toast your car in the big wide open of a carpark?

U

Cro Magnon said...

Fish-n-Chips deconstructed.

Cro Magnon said...

Cars are built to withstand heat, they are not built to self-clean.

Andi's English Attic said...

Starling's poo is the worst. Purple. Do seagulls sit in trees? I don't think I've ever seen one there.

Ursula said...

I wasn't thinking of the car's welfare but the driver's (dis)comfort on getting into an overheated tin.

U

Cro Magnon said...

These days they have wind-down windows for cooling.

Cro Magnon said...

They do, but I think in this case it's Pigeons.

Le Pré de la Forge said...

Cro.....
The carwash may be too late.....
there is a very corrosive element in bird ess-aitch-eye-tea-eye..... the witer the poo, the worse the corrosion on these new paintworks....
the old paint we can't use anymore was harder and more resistant.... this two-pack rubbish is much softer.

JayCee said...

Living in a seaside town, our cars and our clothes are constant targets for seagulls. Their aim is pretty accurate too.

Cro Magnon said...

I believe it contains Uric Acid, which can be very corrosive. A Land Rover might cope, whereas a Trabant might not.

Cro Magnon said...

When they aim for your pristine, newly-painted, white exterior wall; they need shooting.

Ursula said...

Don't bank on it. At least you didn't mention air conditioning.

U

Yorkshire Pudding said...

In seaside towns, when choosing the paint colour for a new car, it's wise to select either "herring gull white" or "Jackson Pollock cream".

Cro Magnon said...

I'll remember that. I'm now regretting that we chose Dalmatian.

Tasker Dunham said...

You can get plastic covers for cars, but they're a bit naff.

Cro Magnon said...

Luckily I have a garage, but we do use a cover in France when it's frosty.

Debby said...

Well, now, that's a sight to come back to.

Cro Magnon said...

It was even worse when I went past it just now.

The Weaver of Grass said...

It is parking places like this, where unsuspecting people park, which bulk out the income of car-wash firms.

Adrian Ward said...

Sound Advice.....A more apt title would be Crap Advice.

Cro Magnon said...

Or a couple of kids with a bucket and sponge!

Cro Magnon said...

General advice, of a shitty nature.

Mary said...

Neighbors finally had multiple trees cut down on their property after 30+ very large vultures (aka turkey buzzards-a protected species here) made their home in them at night. Every morning, the neighbor's cars were entirely covered in buzzard shite. Not enough car covers in the world to deal with that daily mess. It was beyond disgusting.

local alien said...

Poor buggers. And that stuff is really hard to clean off. Here it's pigeons. But up where we live it's more mice chomping on the wiring.
Darn wildlife

Cro Magnon said...

The Fiat has now gone, and has been replaced by a nice new Mini Clubman; someone else is going to have a surprise!

Cro Magnon said...

I always try to forgive the Mice, but not when they chewed through the wiring in the Pool House electrics.

Debby said...

A chipmunk once set our truck afire. They love wires too.

Cro Magnon said...

Oh dear, I always thought of them as 'cute'.

Unknown said...

Trabant had a fibreglass body

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