Friday 3 December 2021

Sound Advice.



In much the same way as I always recommend that people buy unpainted stone or brick houses that are situated on high ground, I also recommend people not to park their cars under trees.


Especially if you live by the sea where there are plenty of Seagulls; or (even worse) Albatrosses!

This person was obviously not able to benefit from my sound advice, and will be in for bit of a shock when he or she returns. 

Off to the carwash with you!

32 comments:

  1. I have a painted concrete mushroom in my garden that is suffering the same effects from the parrots eating my half ripe plums.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Birds have no shame. We have some small red-fleshed Plums in France. When the birds poo after eating them, it comes out RED.

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  2. So that is what English chips look like after seagull processing.

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  3. Blame the parents. They didn't potty train their offspring.

    One hilarious dilemma of parking when it's baking hot: Do you park under a tree (shade) and live with the birds' "fall out" or toast your car in the big wide open of a carpark?

    U

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cars are built to withstand heat, they are not built to self-clean.

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    2. I wasn't thinking of the car's welfare but the driver's (dis)comfort on getting into an overheated tin.

      U

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    3. These days they have wind-down windows for cooling.

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    4. Don't bank on it. At least you didn't mention air conditioning.

      U

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  4. Starling's poo is the worst. Purple. Do seagulls sit in trees? I don't think I've ever seen one there.

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    Replies
    1. They do, but I think in this case it's Pigeons.

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  5. Cro.....
    The carwash may be too late.....
    there is a very corrosive element in bird ess-aitch-eye-tea-eye..... the witer the poo, the worse the corrosion on these new paintworks....
    the old paint we can't use anymore was harder and more resistant.... this two-pack rubbish is much softer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe it contains Uric Acid, which can be very corrosive. A Land Rover might cope, whereas a Trabant might not.

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    2. Trabant had a fibreglass body

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  6. Living in a seaside town, our cars and our clothes are constant targets for seagulls. Their aim is pretty accurate too.

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    Replies
    1. When they aim for your pristine, newly-painted, white exterior wall; they need shooting.

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  7. In seaside towns, when choosing the paint colour for a new car, it's wise to select either "herring gull white" or "Jackson Pollock cream".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll remember that. I'm now regretting that we chose Dalmatian.

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  8. You can get plastic covers for cars, but they're a bit naff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Luckily I have a garage, but we do use a cover in France when it's frosty.

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  9. Well, now, that's a sight to come back to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was even worse when I went past it just now.

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  10. It is parking places like this, where unsuspecting people park, which bulk out the income of car-wash firms.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or a couple of kids with a bucket and sponge!

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  11. Sound Advice.....A more apt title would be Crap Advice.

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  12. Neighbors finally had multiple trees cut down on their property after 30+ very large vultures (aka turkey buzzards-a protected species here) made their home in them at night. Every morning, the neighbor's cars were entirely covered in buzzard shite. Not enough car covers in the world to deal with that daily mess. It was beyond disgusting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Fiat has now gone, and has been replaced by a nice new Mini Clubman; someone else is going to have a surprise!

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  13. Poor buggers. And that stuff is really hard to clean off. Here it's pigeons. But up where we live it's more mice chomping on the wiring.
    Darn wildlife

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I always try to forgive the Mice, but not when they chewed through the wiring in the Pool House electrics.

      Delete
  14. A chipmunk once set our truck afire. They love wires too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh dear, I always thought of them as 'cute'.

      Delete

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