Hi Cro.,
I've been very busy recently, I expect you've noticed.
However, my very good friend, and fellow Covid sufferer, New York born New Yorker Mr Boris himself (your Prime Minister; a bit like a president, but without the power) informs me that you are today posting your 4,000th daily blog page. It's people like you who can make blogging great again; maybe even greater.
Of course Melania and I read it in bed every morning, usually whilst I apply my tan.... no fake news. All good. A goodly view of your splendid world.
Where you live in Spain (or is it Italy?), I hear that you need a wall. We do very good walls... too many illegals. I like illegals, but there are too many of them, they should be sent back to their shit-hole countries. They eat too much garlic; we could sell them burgers... good healthy burgers, and maybe Coke. It's all good; no fake foods. Melania sends out for them quite often.
My good friend Joe Biden (he says 'hi' btw), nice man, tells me that you actually live in France. Is that a part of Spain? I know I've heard the name somewhere. Is it US territory? I'll have to ask Melania, she knows all about countries-n-things.
4,000 pages is a lot, it's more than 3,000 and that was huge. We'll all be following you for more adventures, more is better. We prefer more to less. Over here we like big, bigger, and biggest.
Come over with Boris some time, we'll have a Clam Bake in the yard, with grits and apple pie. Melania makes great apple pie; her apple pie is the best. The bestest apple pie. A great American invention, apple pie; maybe the greatest pie in the world; and beyond. Or, maybe we could meet-up at my golf club in Europe's Scottishland. Have you been there? It's just off the coast of Norway; a lovely island.
Anyway Coe, it's all good. We love you. We read you every morning. Say 'hi' to Boris, I like Boris, and I like you. I don't like fake news, and you don't deal in fake news.
Melania also says 'hi' in her funny accent; she's not foreign, she's legal; not like O'Barmy.
Best wishes; great wishes, great wishes.
From Donald (possibly the greatest POTUS of all time; if not more) and my good friend Joe Biden xxx
p.s. I'll let you know if (or when) I have a new address.
Congratulations.
ReplyDeletePS. Grab some pussy for me and fondle a little girl for Joe.
Not sure about your post scriptum, but thanks for your kind congrats.
DeleteIt certainly amused me. As she wasn't American born, I am not so sure about Melania's apple pie. I think I would like Big Black Mama's apple pie.
ReplyDeleteAnd of course well done with 4,000th page? Post?
ReplyDeleteThank you Andrew. Now you know why my two typing fingers are worn out.
DeleteI am so glad you have been recognised in these days of shutdown, and by such an illustrious person. Congratulations for writing each day and keeping the power of blog open.
ReplyDeleteI expect he wanted to make an appearance on my page, before people forget all about him.
DeleteWow, fancy him having time to write to you, you are so famous, very famous, not as famous as him of course.
ReplyDeleteBTW 4,000 posts is amazing. Congratulations
ReplyDeleteNo-one's as famous as Trump.... until tomorrow!
DeleteBusy with counting if your 4,000 pages are no fake news... were some of them sent by mail??
ReplyDeleteSome were written by my dead grandmother.
DeleteThat is some achievement Cro. I have been blogging for eleven years now and I don’t think I’m anywhere near 1,000 !!! You are very disciplined.
ReplyDeleteYou really must frame your letter from the White House !!! XXXX
I'm not sure whether it's disciplined or obsessed, but if I'm not posting something (however trivial) by 5.30 am I feel that something isn't right.
DeleteWe all have to take praise where we can!
ReplyDeleteWot; even from Trumpo?
DeleteHe's having a particularly hard time today. Have you seen the "obese turtle on his back flailing in the hot sun, realising his time is over" comment from the CNN reporter?
DeleteBest read today, but often you are!!
ReplyDeleteYou flatterer you!
DeleteVery funny. Well done
ReplyDeleteCongratulations. This is hilarious. I could hear Trump's voice in my head as I read this.
ReplyDeleteHa! As if 45 could write something this coherent!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on 4000 posts. What a feat!
Haha, that was very funny. Congratulations Coe x
ReplyDeleteHahaha, you are hilarious Cro. Congratulations, well done!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on reaching the 4,000 mark!
ReplyDelete"Nobody's ever seen anything like it!" 4K worth of posts is amazing. This one is especially amazing - and that's not fake news. Keep on!!!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! Well done!
ReplyDelete4,000 posts is definitely a mile stone. Never a dull day in the USA.
ReplyDeleteHaw! Haw! The epistle was cleverly constructed Cro. Well done and congratulations on churning out 4000 blogposts! Quite an achievement!
ReplyDeleteThis was so funny! Thanks for helping break up this long wait today....
ReplyDeleteWhat a hoot! Even 'the Donald' acknowledges your accomplishment. Well done, Cro!
ReplyDelete4000! Congratulations! Ha! The water in Spain evidently does wonders for your creative juices :)
ReplyDeleteThat was a funny one for your 4000th post. The Donald told us a few weeks ago that he might move out of the country if he loses. Maybe you could suggest he stay in one of those spacious holiday houses/containers. Don’t expect Melania to be with him; the woman has plans of her own. She no longer has to stomach being with him.
ReplyDeleteIt'll be interesting to see what happens when she's no longer 'first lady'. Maybe there's a financial tie at the moment.
DeleteShe re-negotiated the pre-nup before she would assume the duties of First Lady. She's no slouch.
DeleteLOL. Mind yourself. tRUMP may be looking to emigrate to avoid some potential legal problems. He and Melania might show up on YOUR doorstep.
ReplyDelete