The Babycham is already on ice, the Sprouts are cooking (they need a good week), and the Turkey Nuggets are defrosting. Uncle Henry has been pissed since Easter, Great Aunt Phoebe has taken to her bed with shingles, the cat has been sick in the kitchen, and the dog has eaten half the Plum Pudding.
Everything is in place for another rip-roaring Xmas. Sadly Big Jim won't be with us again for the sixth year running; this year he punched the church choirmaster when they came carol singing, and he'll be spending Christmas in prison.
Otherwise, nephew 'Tall-Trevor' has just shown us his new Christmas Tattoo (disgusting), Aunty Pat has wet herself on the sofa, and cousin Andy has phoned to say he's stuck in Torremolinos due 'unknown circumstances' and will spending Christmas with a lady called Flo who runs The New Churchill Bar on the beach.
We're all planning our TV schedules, including the Christmas edition of 'Stenders', Dad's got some rude videos from his mate Bert, Grandma says she doesn't want anything to do with Christmas other than watching The Queen, and I've just spotted Aunty Phil dusting off the packet of Chocolates with the hard toffee centres (that I gave her last year) to give to her sister Judy.
And bloody hell; the wretched tree has fallen over again. I'll kill that bloody cat!
All is normal. Only a week to go; Happy Xmas.
Love to you and yours also from a rather warm Melbourne 🎄⛱🎄🍷🎄💕ReplyDelete
We've been reading about your very high temperatures, fires, etc. Let's all hope that things settle down a bit for a more comfortable Christmas. My daughter in Brisbane was complaining of the heat too.Delete
Oh what fun. I wondered what was coming when babycham turned up in the first sentence.ReplyDelete
You can't have Christmas without Babycham!Delete
I once got very drunk on Babycham and brandy in my teens. Oh, the shame!ReplyDelete
I don't think I've ever tasted one; wasn't it 'perry'?Delete
Don’t forget the Cherry B’s for your Christmas from hell.ReplyDelete
That might be a tad too sophisticated. A party 7 of Watneys Red Barrel is more our style.Delete
And an Advocaat Snowball.ReplyDelete
For Aunt Maud.Delete
Oh my. I remember Snowballs and Party 7s from my childhood Christmases. For the adults I hasten to add. We were not very sophisticated I'm afraid.ReplyDelete
Nobody was in those days; but we all thought we were.Delete
Sounds like a simple normal Christmas at yours,ReplyDelete
Almost like all the other 364 days of the year.Delete
Ding dong merrily on high . . . innocence has vanished.ReplyDelete
There was never any innocence in this house.Delete
Don’t forget the cheesy footballs XXXXReplyDelete
Blimey, I almost forgot them; I'll add them to my shopping list.Delete
Sounds like a perfect Christmas that many of us experience.ReplyDelete
I am very lucky; none of my relatives has ever wet the couch.ReplyDelete
Give them time!!!Delete
You really believe the East Enders Christmas Special, don't you? Happy Christmas Colonel.ReplyDelete
I believe they sacrifice someone every Christmas. I don't watch it, so not sure who'll be killed this year.Delete