Sunday, 16 December 2018

SUNDAY'S BREAKING NEWS.



The Scottish Parliament has decided that festive 'Gingerbread men' will no longer be available in their hallowed Coffee Shop. Instead, they will now sell 'Gingerbread persons'. Those bloody sexist male biscuits have been condemned to antiquity (where they obviously belong).

At the moment, Scots politicians have very little on the agenda, so plenty of time to debate much more important questions such as biscuits. Well done all those Scottish MSP's; och aye, hoots mon, and tuck a wee one in yer sporran for Hogmanay!



41 comments:

  1. I am not a redhead, although I quite like redheads and I think the gingerbread person discriminates against the gingers and red haired among us. I think bread persons would be a more appropriate name.

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  2. In an ideal world all parliaments will discuss only cookies, there will be no other troubles.

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    1. Yes Yael this would be fabulous. But you know it would be like Lilliput and Blefuscu where they argue about which end of the egg to eat first. People will always find something to argue about. but if it is anything to discuss, I would like to say ginger nut biscuits are the best!

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  3. Replies
    1. They will be ruling about that any day soon.

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  4. The snowman is becoming a snowperson. I blame the snowflakes.

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    1. They'd be better debating what the Scottish euro coins are going to look like. They'll be needing them soon when they have to cash in all those Bank of Clydesdale notes,

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    2. The EU may not want them as a member; They'd have to fulfil the membership criteria just like any other country.

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  5. Replies
    1. And so on, and so on, and so on; where will it end!

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  6. How die we know they were men anyway with the relevant piece missing?

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    Replies
    1. They have ways of sexing Ginger Persons.

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    2. ha ha it is done with a light whilst they are baking?

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  7. How speciesist. Not everyone is human(evident in politics) NonbinaryLGBTQXGingerbreadbeing has to be the correct name.............

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    1. I think you'll have to inform Nicola Sturgeon of this.

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  8. It's ridiculous! Gingerbread 'men' don't even have male parts! If they are really against it they could just call them gingerbread eunuchs!

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    Replies
    1. The ones that Lady Magnon makes are definitely 'men', even though they're fully clothed. I can just tell.

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  9. Is this for real? You're not joking?

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  10. There's an easy solution to this. Put penises on them, preferably erect like the Cerne Abbas giant. The same wouldn't work the other way round without offending trans gingerbread women. I always bite the heads off jelly babies. I would prefer to bite the cocks off.

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    Replies
    1. If you patent the biscuit cutters, you could make a fortune; especially in Scotland.

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    2. There are a lot of ginger people in Scotland who might take offence...

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  11. You certainly have them wound up, Cro. There's a better expression for this in Britain, but I can't think of it.

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    Replies
    1. Yes there are other, and better, expressions; but they are unprintable.

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  12. I've always seen ginger bread men and gingerbread women, never thought too much about it.

    However having said that, a couple of months ago, me and my oldest pal went home to Scotland for the last visit we plan on making.

    Did you know that there are indigenous Scots? Blew us away. The topic under discussion was the lack of funding for Arabic language instruction and concerns that education was only available in English and Gaelic in some reason.

    I am so glad my Father chose to migrate to Canada. I couldn't live in my homeland now.

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    1. Yes, the lack of funding for Arabic, Hindustani, and Swahili, is a disgrace. As for the indigenous Scots; aren't they called Italians?

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  13. I cannot believe they have allowed the persecution of ginger people to continue, surely these should be biscuits of colour? The Scots do take the biscuit at the moment .

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    Replies
    1. I hope you're not suggesting that (what used to be called) Gingerbread men, should now be called Coloured people. We'd have riots.

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  14. Honestly - I don't know whether to laugh or cry!

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    Replies
    1. Do neither; just bury your head in some very deep sand!

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