Dear Santa, I've been a good boy; honest!Can you please bring me a panacea for my bad knee, my aching back, my diabetes, and insomnia.
I would also welcome a powerful potion that stops the bloody weeds from growing up at Haddock's, keeps the deer off, and deals with all those troublesome insects.
In Lady Magnon's absence, may I request a large bag of self-clearing-up flour (her present variety seems to get everywhere when she does any baking!). She'd also like replacement temperature gauges for both of our ovens (very important against 'cordon noir').
If you have something that makes teeth perfect again, replaces lost hair, and would make me feel like a spring-chicken (without having to put it up my nose), it would be highly appreciated.
I promise to leave a bottle of Scotch and 2 mince pies for you on the big day.
Yours in anticipation. Your faithful devotee, Cro. xx
Don't forget a carrot for Rudolph
ReplyDeleteHow could Santa resist such a good boy anything,especially as he will be probably eating alone poor little lamb, hope lady M is ok over in the old country.Carole
ReplyDeleteDamn. Yes of course... several carrots!
ReplyDeleteMay you get all you wish for Cro (and when you do, share a few!). Happy Christmas!
ReplyDeleteI'd like some of that self-cleaning-up flour, if you get some, Cro!
ReplyDeleteThat's pretty much everything I asked him for, but I would settle for something to put up my nose on the day if all else failed.
ReplyDeleteI think I've been too naughty to get any presents from Santa this year. So I think I'll just drink the Scotch myself. And it would be a shame to leave the mince pies...
ReplyDeleteThe key to getting what you want for Christmas is this: buy a time-machine from some Iranian off Ebay, set it to Christmas morning, fly through time, open your presents, write down what you got, travel back to today and then approach Santa with the list. It words every time.
ReplyDeleteMy security code is CroBuct. Take it as you will.
'Crobuct' would have been more appropriate for my yesterday's posting!
ReplyDelete