Ireland.

 

Forget Greenland and Canada, why doesn't Tr*mp point his colonial ambitions towards a United Ireland?

I'm sure they'd love to become the 51st US State. They've always had a very good relationship with the USA. They were often helped by the US to raise funds for the IRA, and various Presidents have openly welcomed Sinn Féin's (IRA) political representatives.

It is well known that the origin of Americans is 90% Irish, 5% Scottish, 3% African, and 2% Latino, so it would seem logical for Ireland to become a little satellite US colony on the edge of mainland Europe. The Irish have always been desperate to leave their homeland in exchange for the USA; just look at the popularity of St Patrick's Day; it's bigger over there than it is in Ireland itself!

It was always said that Westminster handed-out money in order of how much the different member countries of the United Kingdom hated us. Ireland received the most as they hated us the most, then Scotland a bit less, then Wales, with the least amount being saved for the downtrodden English who pay for it all. I'm sure if a referendum was held in Ireland, a majority would vote to join the USA.

So come along Tr*mp, forget about Greenland and Canada; aim your sights at a country who might actually welcome you! You could make them all spell incorrectly, install McDonalds canteens in all schools, and insist that no newborns are named Paddy or Paddette, but either 'Man' or 'Bro' instead. You could also build a few Country Clubs and Golf Courses, as well as a US Air Force camp and a Nuclear Submarine base. And in future you could change Ireland's patron saint from St Patrick to St Donald.

Once all the Irish have re-located to NY, and joined the police, maybe you could even build a huge super-secure Emerald Isle Prison, where you could send your facially-tattooed unwanted cat-eating illegal immigrants, who would be forced to cultivate all the Potatoes required by the US! There would be plenty of space.