Monday, 17 March 2025

Looking back; looking forward.


Where is that young man that I used to know? That eager Art Student with such great ideals and ambition.

Where is that lush wavy hair, that full set of teeth, and infectious smile? 

Little did he know, whilst sitting in that chair, that he would soon meet the girl of his dreams, end-up with three children, and spend 50 years living in the South of France. The world was certainly his Oyster, and he was to consume them by the dozen.


I remember him as a bonviveur. He loved food, wine, and untipped Gauloises cigarettes. He enjoyed the better things of life. He also lived a very waste-free existence. He had a large vegetable garden, plenty of fruit trees, and a medium sized Chestnut plantation. He ploughed his own land, where he sowed and harvested Maize and Wheat, and he had a large run-full of Chickens and Ducks. He lived 'The Good Life', even before 'the good life' had been invented. 

In time he lost some of his 'sparkle'. His children grew-up and moved away, he moved to a smaller home, and eventually divided his time between the South of France and the South of England.

Now he is getting old. His mobility has become limited. The bushy hair and endearing smile have gone, and he walks his black and white dog with a rolling gait, a silver topped cane, and the occasional grimace. He is no longer that young man that he still likes to think he is.

He contemplates. He reads. He fills-in countless crosswords. He still enjoys his food and drink, but no longer scours the earth for the finest cafés or restaurants. His dancing days are over too, and he is now more likely to watch 'Strictly' than be seen performing a jig at the local fêtes.

He no longer has a studio in which to work, or even the desire to do so, so his painting days are over, and his life's previous output must suffice.

Luckily his wit remains, and he enjoys good company. He will still search the woods for the very best mushrooms. and he still grows much of his own fruit. His 'second home' garden is a passion, and he tends it with pride. He will swim, he will BBQ, and he will enjoy the sunshine.

So, now he studies the faces of his grandsons, and sees something of himself there. He has watched them grow into fine young men. His hope for them is that they have as much fun in life as he once had, and that their wives give them sons and daughters that they can be proud of too.

30 comments:

  1. This brought a tear to my eye........

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    1. That wasn't my intention. Sorry!

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    2. The telling was so wonderful the writing hits home for most of us, I am sure.

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  2. My goodness Cro. This sounds like a farewell!
    I hope that man sticks around for quite a while longer.

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  3. I didn't realise you grew maize and wheat. Was that to feed your fowl or did you mill it? At least it sounds as though you must still be reasonably mobile if you are planning on searching for mushrooms in the woods. That's good.

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    1. I originally grew wheat to exchange with the village baker for bread. Unfortunately I didn't spray against weeds and when harvested it had all sorts of wild seeds in it, and he wouldn't take it. It went for Chicken food. The Maize I sold as cattle fodder. I wasn't the world's best farmer; but I did my best!

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  4. Cro.... " so his painting days are over".... no, you've just changed medium.... you've painted a wonderful picture called "A Life".... but using words!

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    1. That's very kind. It was all prompted by finding the photo. It seemed like such a long time ago.

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  5. What a wonderful post! If you could give that young man one piece of advice from your older self, what would it be?

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    1. To be more 'assertive'. I've never been one to promote my work; I should have been.

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  6. Such beautiful words to show the realism of growing old.

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  7. I found myself doing the same thing yesterday as well. Took a selfie of myself and then looked at it and thought 'that cannot be me!' - I look like a passport photo, very depressing!

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    1. Keeping looking at the old photos when you were 'sweet sixteen'.

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  8. This is a great piece of reflective writing Crozier. Well done sir!

    However, a more important question might be: Where is that stripey shirt?

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    1. I can remember that I loved that shirt. It was made from some very light Indian material.

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  9. You have got the start of a very good memoir there Cro.

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  10. What a wonderful salutation. You lived life as it should be lived from young to old.
    It does sound like a eulogy. Keep a copy for future use lol

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    1. Looking back, I was a bit foolhardy. I just did things as I fancied. I still do, I suppose.

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  11. Inside every 80 year old, is a 20 year old thinking, what happened? What happened is we have had a good and well lived life, we have accumulated wisdom, and we still have much to share.

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  12. This made me cry. Too close to home.

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    1. It wasn't meant to be emotional. I apologise.

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  13. I have to say, Kimbo looks just like you. Good genes Cro! You can be very proud of the life you have and the wonderful extended family you've created.
    The garden, woodland mushrooms, and swimming pool are awaiting your arrival.

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    1. I'm not looking forward to the drive down, but I'll survive. It's the daily swimming that I enjoy the most.

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    2. Do you go from Dover or take the ferry to Caen?

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  14. To be able to look back upon such a fine life,well, it is fulfilling. You have achieved all you have needed in life and now to gently live your life to the best of your abilities...time to consider the fine things you have done and produced. Time to be proud and content in what you have achieved. Relax,retire and enjoy the good things that you now love. Your wife, your life,good friends , good food...time to enjoy all of it my dearest friend. Love to you and yours. Beth

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    1. I don't think I'm really either proud or content (perhaps a bit), but I certainly intend that the fun continues until I can no longer cope; and I hope that'll be quite some while yet.

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