Your Majesty. I may be old, and have various permanent aches and pains, but I think I can still do my bit; if required.
If Your Majesty requires my services in order to stem any further advances from that b*stard Putin (please excuse my language), I will put my name forward willingly.
I can no longer cope with long route marches, but I'm a good shot, and would probably make a good 'static sniper'. A decent rifle, a silencer, and a good supply of ammo, and I'll be there amongst the best of them.
As I'm sure you're aware, I did do some basic Officer Training, so a commission would be appreciated; 'Captain' would be fine (of a Sussex Regiment please).
Somehow I don't see Putin's men actually attempting to conquer England (like the tyrant Hitler before him), I think he'd find such a thing tricky (as did the tyrant Hitler) . However, I'm prepared to travel into Europe to help the cause. I speak French, so that might be of use.
Your Majesty, may I humbly suggest that you have a word with your Chief of Staff (Sir Tony Radakin), and remind him that Boris's trifling economic sanctions will not stop this maniac. It will require serious fire-power, determination, and sadly loss of life. Taking money away from Russian Football Club Billionaires will not achieve this.
I am ready to go. You have my address and phone number, so whenever, or if ever, I am required, I will take my shilling and fight for the freedom of my country, and for that of others.
Your servant; Cro xx