Jean-Claude Juncker has just announced that, as a direct result of the UK's 'Brexit' vote, the European Union is to reduce the average human body temperature from 36.8 C to 35.6 C; reducing the usage of winter heating products; and thus lowering Europe's imports of far eastern oil.
Reactions to Juncker's plans have been swift.
The UK's Prime Minister, Theresa May, said "36.8 C has served Europe well ever since it was first introduced; I don't see why anyone should wish to change it now".
Matron Merkel said "I am much in favour of zis move; it vill help ze immigrants from varmer countries to settle into ze cooler German climates".
Nigel Farage said "As long as Fucker-Juncker doesn't try to mess with the temperature of British beer, he can do what he fuckin' well likes; we're well shot of him".
Jeremy Corbyn said "I've received an Email about this matter from a Doris Ramsbottom of Cleethorpes. I have no idea what she was on about; maybe we should all go on strike".
More reaction is still flooding in.
It is good to hear. Let's wait.ReplyDelete
I believe that you may have finally gone off your trolley, Mr Magnon! xReplyDelete
I've been off my trolley since birth.Delete
It's the best way to be. I'm a senior mental health practitioner. I should know. xDelete
By the way Merkel speaks better English and French than you will ever speak German or even french. And the Queen what about her ? Any foreign language ????!ReplyDelete
That's why I credited Merkel with speaking English, otherwise I would have written it in German. Glad you noticed.Delete
p.s. As we have taught the world to speak our language, The Queen has no need to learn any of those foreign words.Delete
Just for the record HM speaks fluent French and English (I recall from some protocol work I once did) and her husband also speaks German (after all he went to school in Germany before its headmaster (a Jew) fled to the UK and founded Gordonstoun where PP also went.Delete
Don't worry, I was only poking fun at Ms Mia More. She expects it of me!Delete
I have a friend who was at Gordonstoun with Charles. He said he was a bit of a 'drip'.
HM is hanging on like grim death and for good reason. Die Koenigin kann Deutsch. Ein diener in Palast Von Sandringham ist ein echt Oestereicher und ich habe mit ihn gesprochen personlich und er hat mich kit dieser faktum bekannt gemacht.Delete
We may well all laugh but is there anything that the EU, and politicians as a whole, do not think they have the right to meddle with and regulate.ReplyDelete
As for the drunken juncker we're well shot of him.
We were trying to think of the most ridiculous thing Brussels could come up with next. As you say; nothing is beyond them.Delete
ha ha, brilliant Cro, made my day!ReplyDelete
Gotta larf, ain't yer!Delete
Ah modern life!ReplyDelete
So why are Remaim so upset? Ask a remainer culturatii who Juncker is and they will give you a blank look.ReplyDelete
Are they still upset? I'm not. Trump is better known than Juncker, and yet Juncker calls the shots.Delete
I can't imagine The Donald allowing Jean-Claude to kiss him on top of his head and on both cheeks while holding his hand and pulling him into his body as he is prone to do. I think he got the greeting style from Comrade Breshnev.Delete