Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Vacancy.....


So, old Benny's thrown in the towel. He's had enough!

His boss was so furious on hearing of his resignation, that he threw a bloody great lightning bolt at The Vatican. Oy vey!!!!

The question now is; who will replace him. The job criteria is a bit dodgy, and quite varied; the new boy mustn't be married, must pretend to believe in fairies, and be prepared to live in absolute luxury whilst 'giving succour to the poor'. 

Otherwise he should expect to undertake a lot of world travel, spend a lot of time in church, and he (and it must be a he) should show a penchant for heavily embroidered dresses (ahem). 

I do like the sound of becoming Pope Cro, but frankly I don't think I qualify on any count (I'm certainly not prepared to wear a frock!).

27 comments:

The Owl Wood said...

With all due respect, and pre-empting his no-doubt imminent demise, I shall refrain from expressing here my heartfelt hope that the old t*sser burns in his organisation's notion of "hell". Oops. Oh never mind.

Mention of El Popo though raises a question - who gives the pope absolution? Do popes go to confession or are they assumed to be in actual conversation with the big sky fairy and to not need it?

A Heron's View said...

I think the world at large will be better off without the pope and his organisation.

Cro Magnon said...

I've been trying to tell him that for yonks!

Andi's English Attic said...

Best news of the week so far. According to yesterday's Evening Standard the main candidates are:

Turkson (64) - who 'believes dialogue with Muslins is 'impossible''. Good start there then.

Ouellet (68) - Fiercely anti-abortion. (guess he's never had to have one)

Arinze (80. A quick turn-over expected here) - conservative on homosexuality. (but could swing either way)

Maradiaga (70) - says condoms do not help fight Aids.
(very helpful)

Scola (71) A truck-driver's son (they don't say what his father did) considered brash by some but has led attempts to improve relations with Muslims.

So my vote goes for the last guy. He sounds like a more human devil at least.

Cro Magnon said...

And at only 71, they could expect a few year's work from him.... Did they mention the salary?

lizzie said...

Pope bashing day is it ? A billion point two catholics, cant argue with that......................
Maybe we can be anti-semitic next week and then start on the buddists...........

The Broad said...

OOOOh!! Y'all better get started on your 'Our Father's' and 'Hail Mary's' -- forever and ever, Amen!

Kim said...

The Pope he gone. He is an Ex-Benedict.

Sorry.

Runs away ~~~~~~~~>

Spinners End Farm said...

Have you read any Terry Pratchett Cro? I think you and he would get on like a house on fire! Great author.

Cro Magnon said...

I ain't bashing the Catholics dear; but I'll always bash the Catholic priests, cardinals, and popes... A more corrupt bunch of child abusers, liars, and narcissists, I can hardly imagine!

elaine said...

Sorry - but not being a catholic I can't really say I'm bothered one way or t'other, but I like your thinking.

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

FUNNY!

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

How deliciously irreverent. (And funny!)

Taradharma said...

the whole institution mystifies me. so i have to imagine that, if it were the Dali Lama, I would be interested. I think notions of church and god are fanciful, and yet I hate to be disrespectful to true believers...who am I to tell them they live in a land of make-believe? They could be right, but I doubt it.

Tom Stephenson said...

I'm amazed you got away with only one irate Catholic (so far). You're a brave man. Also well done for not mentioning his German-ness - so far as well.

Tom Stephenson said...

That's what the Catholics have been saying about Druids for at least 1500 years.

Gerry Snape said...

Yes wasn't that lightening quite something!?....just the highest point!

Susan Kane said...

You'd be surprised how comfortable a frock can be. A little breezy at times, but otherwise...

Helsie said...

Hard to believe that people still believe all this stuff.

A Heron's View said...

Lost my glasses ;) did you say an ex-bandit ?

A Heron's View said...

and you thought that there was no contact between the devil upstairs & earth ? :)

Spinners End Farm said...

Ha! And we're stll hugging trees.....

Cro Magnon said...

Throwing eggs!

Cro Magnon said...

Pascal's wager!

Cro Magnon said...

See anonymous Lizzie above; thank goodness they're only a tiny few!

37paddington said...

Well, that sums it up as well as anything I've seen!

Kat said...

You say it well, Cro. I thought the same thing when I saw that lightening bolt!!! Poor dear.........

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