We've been having some really foul weather recently; bad enough to keep us indoors, watching afternoon TV with our cup of Lapsang and McVities digestive.
A favourite Tea-Time afternoon BBC programme is about buying property in the countryside, and it occasionally involves my screaming at the TV.
Previously my gripes have been about their use of the word 'vaulted', which they use willy-nilly for any ceiling that has beams; and why do they continually call stones, 'bricks'?
However, my latest annoyance comes in respect of 'equestrian properties' that contain an enclosed exercise area.
Such areas are invariably called a 'Ménage' by the presenters, when every horse-owner knows that they are a 'Manège'.
Ménage = Household
Manège = Roundabout
I don't know why this annoys me so much; I suppose it's simply because I expect 'experts' to have some expertise. They'll soon be referring to the Kitchen as the 'en suite'.
29 comments:
When the estate agents recently listed our house for sale, the basement storage area was described as the "undercroft". Sounds posher doesn't it.
It certainly sounds better than 'dungeon'. At school we had a two story medieval chapel right opposite our dining room. The lower one was called the 'Undercroft', and the one above 'Prior Crauden's Chapel'. Very small but stunning.
Oh, my pretentious trigger word is 'floating'. Cantilevered anythings don't 'appear to be floating' in my eyes, nor houses on stumps or whatever gets the annoying architectural adjective. They're engineered, as far I can see. Or just plain Built Into the cliff or wall or whatnot. Accompanied by plenty of fist-shaking at the telly, of course.
Weather here is horrible too.Estate Agent speak is very odd.
"The Garden houses a shed and fruit tree"??
I don't watch Escape to the Country anymore, there's usually a quiz on somewhere else.
If these so-called experts spent just a few minutes brushing-up on architectural terminology, it would make my heart rate reduce dramatically.
It was nice here yesterday, and I managed to mow three quarters of the grass. Maybe next week we'll begin to see some summery weather. I hope so.
The older I get the more I shake my head and I have to admit that apart from the occasional shout at the television or radio I've given up. The problem is that when everyone gives up standards plummet even further (if that's possible).
The amount of architectural terminology that these people need to employ is very limited. One would have hoped that they'd get them correct.
Round here they are called arenas, some are but many aren't they are surfaced with mashed up carpet and motor tyres not sand.
They are so unrealistic.... but I like watching those that cover where I wouldn't mind living!!
It might be better if they simply referred to them as 'Outside, or Inside, exercise yards'.
I find myself looking at the fireplaces. I'm very picky about such things. Usually the rest doesn't matter. I can never understand why people get so excited about 'Islands' or 'Woodburners'.
Estate Agents don't claim to be "experts". That's not their job. Whilst I get your consternation at estate agent speak it's about "selling" a place be it to a buyer, be it to a tenant. A bit like romantic novels. Bodice rippers. The steamier the better. Who cares about reality, finer detail? Other than Cro.
So, by way of silly example, when I hear a property described as "bijoux" that is shorthand for "small" as in "you won't be able to swing a cat in there". And so on. Incidentally, the same goes for employers' references. Trust me, I have worked in HR (Human Resources as it's now so quaintly called). So if a reference says: "Tried very hard ..." you know two things. Either the applicant is a loser or their previous employer hated their guts. Whether property or prospective future employee look, probe, make up your own mind. And never be sidetracked by a fireplace (don't ask).
U
PS Remember that marvellous programme "Minder"? Arthur Daley; his hapless side kick (played by Dennis Waterman) trying to keep Daley and his dealings in check? That's 101, Uni entry level, to learn about how to sell ice to Eskimos.
There is nothing more inaccurate than a newspaper or tv report on a subject you know something about.
They do have their own codes, don't they?
Perhaps you should apply to be a presenter on "Escape to the Country". With your suave appearance and mesmeric speaking voice you are bound to be a hit with the afternoon viewers.
Some modest apartment accommodation built here recently could well have a kitchen slightly smaller than my ensuite and could be described as an ensuite. Tasker above has it in one.
It's very posh where I work two mornings a week they have both inside and outside arenas and toilets.
On this side of the pond I've noticed that the US programmes now no longer refer to the main/largest bedroom as the "master" - it is now the "primary" - guess why!
In the US, these shows are fake. To get on the show, you have to already have purchased the home and the other homes shown could be, but not necessarily, a friends home. It is entertainment and satisfies our nosiness as to how other people live. I do like the International House Hunters the best.
Of course estate agents claim to be experts. Are you honestly trying to tell me that a doctor doesn't claim to know what he's talking about, or a solicitor, or your bank manager? All professionals claim more knowledge than the 'common man'; that's why we trust them.
That's very true, we all claim to know more about our own subjects than others.
And occasionally those codes are WRONG.
You think they haven't asked me?
Yes, we're all experts about something. Some people about trams even!
It's the same in the UK... I think it's now 'principle bedroom'. Dear oh dear!
The houses are all so clean and tidy... nothing like ours.
Oh forget islands, just give me a good kitchen table low enough to work on and knead bread properly! Kitchen benches are just far too high...and I am not that short!!
I am not even in the running with trams. Some have unbelievable knowledge and memories.
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