Saturday 28 May 2011

Vanity Dark (geddit?)

I have to admit to a smidgen of vanity, and that if there was a reliable faux-sun-tan pill, I would probably partake.

Like most people, I just feel better with a bit of tan on my otherwise pale and pasty post-winter body. My problem is that I cannot stand the idea of sitting around sun-bathing; or, even worse, smothering myself with oil.

There is no question in my mind that the easiest way to become the next multi multi billionaire is to invent a tanning pill. Many years ago such a pill DID exist, but the 'tan' was more orange than sienna, and its success was short-lived.

The first person to invent a pill that gives a natural looking all-over tan will make a FORTUNE. Why has this not happened? Surely it can't be that difficult to develop.


  1. Hello:
    We shall set to work in the laboratory at once. A brilliant idea, and one where we can see the cash registers going non stop.

    For ourselves, avoiding where possible the sun, we think 'pale and interesting', rather than 'pasty'!

  2. If your mother had married a black man, then you wouldn't have this problem, Cro. My step-daughter went for a 'spray-tan' a few days ago. Basically (and it is basic), you stand there in a paper g-string while they hose you down with gravy. It lasts for 2 days, then it comes off on the sheets.

  3. just be like me
    go out in all weathers
    and look like a brown faced hic

  4. There IS a pill of some kind, but I don't recall what it is. In the '50s, a white journalist took whatever those pills were so he could investigate life as a black man. (His book's entitled "Black Like Me.") Don't want to get quite THAT dark, you say? Some of the moisturizing bronzers that are on the market now work quite well, and don't turn your skin orange like they did when they first came out.

  5. Susan. It's all that 'moisturizing' stuff that I can't be bothered with. What I want is a pill you take on May Day, and then stay beautifully bronzed until All Saints.

  6. I'm glad to hear you are not laying out in the sun exposing yourself to harmful rays. As kids no one even thought about the sun being dangerous, we were encouraged to get brown. I think I'll just stay pasty white. Who knows what's in those tanning moisturizers that is being absorbed into your system when you use them. I'll save my chemical exposure for the ant killer.

  7. Surely the best tan is the one developed gradually from early February onwards as you busy yourself gardening and feeding the chickens? I've never seen a fake tan that didn't look overdone and a bit yucky.

  8. Mise. I've been shorts-shod out in the blazing sun for over two months.... not a hint of colour. Not that I really mind; it would just be nice....

  9. What happened - I always remember you going tanned while I stayed pasty white.


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