Traditional Sussex gastronomy.

Although we have plenty of excellent restaurants around, we have very few dishes that suggest that they actually hail from god's own county of Sussex.

I suppose the two best known are Sussex Pond (above), and Banoffee Pie. I've only eaten Sussex Pond once, and the maker had made it far too sweet; and as for the more recent Banoffee Pie, it's really not my bag.

Belloc said that all Cheese made in Sussex is simply called 'Cheese' because we have no need to extol its virtues by giving it silly place-names. He was right!

There is a Sussex Pie, but having looked at the recipe I would simply call it Apple Pie.

There is also a little known dish called Sussex Hog Pudding, which is a type of sausage made from non-sausage materials, and should probably be relegated to 'the dustbin of history'. 

Incidentally; I have recently heard that there is to be a 'Sussex Jam' sold in the USA. May I suggest that this is NOT Sussex Jam, and I would NOT recommend anyone buying any. It may well contain traces of toxic 'bullying attitude'.

Another fascinating week.

In a recent release of 'secret papers' in the USA, it was revealed that Mandy (Lord Mandleson) met with his friend, the convicted paedophile Jeffery Epstein, on a couple of occasions, whilst he was the UK's Business Secretary and First Secretary of State. Epstein was under house arrest at the time.

Mandy, who is now the UK's Ambassador to the US, claims that "He never had any kind of professional or business relationship with Epstein". When asked recently by a Financial Times journalist what was his relationship with Epstein, Mandy allegedly told him to "Fu*k off". Here's Mandy (below) on a shopping trip with his good chum Jeffrey.

It's officially 'Spring'. Birds are nesting, the temperature is rising, and the fragrant Angela Rayner has decided to go back to her 'ex', the extreme left-winger Sam Tarry.  This charming Corbynista now-ex-MP was booted out by Starmer. Love is in the air, but I don't imagine Sir Keir will be best pleased!

I read that Harrods are to pay the victims of Al Fayed's sexual abuse around £300,000 each in compensation. Why are Harrods paying this? Surely it's for the estate of Fayad himself to pay up, not for a business he once owned. It was seedy Fayed who was responsible, not some big shop in Knightsbridge.

A 'Severn Trent Water' sewage worker, Damon Joshua, was sacked recently for describing Hamas as 'Disgusting Terrorists' after the October 7th massacre. Has telling the truth now really become a sacking offence?

Sadly, 289 Pubs have already closed this year, and with Rachel 'Freebie' Reeves's new alcohol tax, we can expect a lot more to come. They are slowly digging away at Britain's culture; pint by pint, school by school, farm by farm. Outlook for growth has been slashed, retail sales are falling fast, and our High Streets are dying. She also blamed 'everyone else' for her having to slash Welfare Payments again. So, if your disability payments are going down, blame Putin not Rachel from Accounts. However, have no fear, according to the Socialists ALL IS GOING REALLY WELL.

The illegal channel crossing 'boat people' have been very busy. A new 'all time high' record has been set, with 5,847 already having arrived this year. They must have heard that the government are extending the use of nice hotels to accommodate them when they arrive. Lucky for some!

The 300 year old Fulneck School in Rachel 'freebie' Reeves's own constituency has sadly been forced to close, and it has been revealed that Bridget Phillipson, The Minister for Class Warfare, who is overseeing the destructive Education Tax has not visited a single one of the numerous high-standard schools that will be forced to close. Well, why would she?

Now this may SHOCK you. LGBT Youth Scotland has advised 'self harmers' to use clean razor blades. No advice about not doing it, but simply to use CLEAN RAZOR BLADES. You really couldn't make it up!

The poor people of Gaza seem to have woken-up at last. They have suddenly realised that all the bloodshed and destruction is the fault of Hamas, and they are becoming angry (above). They want food, peace, and some sort of future! It's just a pity that they didn't condemn Hamas back on October 8th after their disgraceful massacre. They should have rounded-up the perpetrators, and dealt with them appropriately.

And finally, the endless supply of rejected Ironing Boards in Brighton continues (below). This latest one looked to be brand new, and in PERFECT condition. I'm wondering if I shouldn't start a collection!!!

 

Saffron Walden.

Saffron Walden has recently been declared to be 'The Best Town in Britain', and it just happens to be where my family comes from.

The 'Grandfather Clock' of which I am custodian, was made for the family in nearby Newport, just South of Saffron Walden, in 1736, and has (obviously) remained with us ever since. It will pass to Kimbo in time.

I'm not totally sure but I think the family were small farmers. I know they owned a part of Wicken Fen which was known for its Reed production, so maybe they were Thatchers as well. But they might have simply sold the Reeds to Thatchers; I just don't know.

A late Aunt (my father's cousin) told me that they'd owned 60 square miles of fenland, but that CAN'T POSSIBLY have been true; it would have been most of East Anglia! Even 6 square miles would have been a lot. I suspect it might have been 6 acres. Wicken Fen later became the first property owned by The National Trust. 

In the 16th and 17th Centuries the town was known for its Saffron production; hence the name.

Architecturally the town contains several important, and beautiful, early buildings.

The churchyard still contains a number family graves. I really must go there some time!

I don't know if the photographer was just lucky, but doesn't it look nice without cars parked everywhere.

Unknown talents

Back in about 1983 I was temporarily living in Shropshire, and had been co-opted into running the village Youth Club. They were a really nice bunch of 'youths', and along with a friend we decided to send a group of them on an 'outward bound' adventure holiday in Bavaria, Germany.

I had raised the money, selected the group of youths, and all that remained was to rent a Minibus and find a driver. I just happened to mention this to one of my cleaners, and she immediately said "My husband would do that".

The following day I went to see him to explain all that it would entail, how much money he'd have to play with, and where we'd arranged for the kids to go. As I approached his house, I saw a strange object on the top of his garage. It looked like some type of rocket. 

I asked him what it was and he said it was a racing motorbike sidecar.

It seemed that in his younger days he'd been a champion sidecar racer, winning cups and medals all over the world. Once indoors the extent of his winnings was obvious. There were trophies and photos (similar to the above) everywhere.

The strange thing was that no-one knew about this talent. He said "Oh it's all in the past, I don't mention it to anyone". Later I made sure that people DID know.

The youths had a fabulous time in Germany, and when they returned there was even some money left over which I returned to Shropshire County Council who had funded me.

Not long after, I completed my one year term of office, and I resigned. I'd done my bit; and so had my Minivan driver, who's name sadly I cannot remember. 

 

Ireland.

 

Forget Greenland and Canada, why doesn't Tr*mp point his colonial ambitions towards a United Ireland?

I'm sure they'd love to become the 51st US State. They've always had a very good relationship with the USA. They were often helped by the US to raise funds for the IRA, and various Presidents have openly welcomed Sinn Féin's (IRA) political representatives.

It is well known that the origin of Americans is 90% Irish, 5% Scottish, 3% African, and 2% Latino, so it would seem logical for Ireland to become a little satellite US colony on the edge of mainland Europe. The Irish have always been desperate to leave their homeland in exchange for the USA; just look at the popularity of St Patrick's Day; it's bigger over there than it is in Ireland itself!

It was always said that Westminster handed-out money in order of how much the different member countries of the United Kingdom hated us. Ireland received the most as they hated us the most, then Scotland a bit less, then Wales, with the least amount being saved for the downtrodden English who pay for it all. I'm sure if a referendum was held in Ireland, a majority would vote to join the USA.

So come along Tr*mp, forget about Greenland and Canada; aim your sights at a country who might actually welcome you! You could make them all spell incorrectly, install McDonalds canteens in all schools, and insist that no newborns are named Paddy or Paddette, but either 'Man' or 'Bro' instead. You could also build a few Country Clubs and Golf Courses, as well as a US Air Force camp and a Nuclear Submarine base. And in future you could change Ireland's patron saint from St Patrick to St Donald.

Once all the Irish have re-located to NY, and joined the police, maybe you could even build a huge super-secure Emerald Isle Prison, where you could send your facially-tattooed unwanted cat-eating illegal immigrants, who would be forced to cultivate all the Potatoes required by the US! There would be plenty of space.

Kathleen Battle - "Ombra Mai Fu. Handel

Singing has been a major part of my life ever since my choirboy days in my native Lingfield in Surrey.

I love to sing, and I love listening to good singers.

The American singer Kathleen Battle has a voice that I could listen to all day long. Just listen to that opening note on this recording of 'Ombra Mai Fu'; it is sensational.

One of my dislikes with female operatic singing is 'sliding up to a note'. I like to hear a singer hitting the perfect note at the first attempt, not making a rough guess then 'sliding' into it (does that make sense?). Ms Battle hits her notes perfectly every time. She has a remarkable range.

Enjoy.

Amazing Boris Johnson netball shot

I wonder if Starmer could do this?

Perhaps this is how we should chose our ruling political parties. Best out of ten, netball shootout!

Boris and Penny versus Starmer and Rayner. My 5p would be on B&P. 

Much more fun that putting an X on a piece of paper.

Countryfile.

 

If you wish to see the UK at its best, you should watch the BBC's TV programme, 'Countryfile'.

Peaceful music, prancing Lambs, and the ever-youthful John Craven, make the programme unmissable Sunday afternoon viewing.

The UK's wildlife is always on view, projects to reintroduce lost species are always shown, and life in the countryside always at the fore; as well as looking to the health of our coastal waters.

This is a programme for country folk, for people like me who try to pretend that nasty aggressive inner city life doesn't exist. We want to see Robins nesting, Foxes with their cubs, and black and white Dogs doing what they do best. We want to hear how our countryside is being protected, and how traditional country sports are still there to ensure a healthy population of wild-life.

If you wish to breathe some fresh mountain air, soak yourself in gentle English sunshine, or give your wellies their first outing for months, then watch Craven & Co as they show us the very best of our countryside.

The programme's presenters are all good, honest, country folk. They don't shout, go on strike, or carry insulting banners. They are 'Middle England' decent folk, who care for their environment. John Craven, the senior presenter, is just as he was X years ago on Blue Peter, and most men are in love with Ellie Harrison. There's a lot to be said for 'Countryfile'.

Another depressing week goes by.

The week started with big bruhaha on the government benches. It wasn't only the Tories who were complaining, Starmer's own backbenchers were also up in arms about cutting disability payments, affecting 3.6 Million claimants. Certain Labour MP's really didn't want to return to their constituencies having to face those who will be clobbered. They already have to deal with angry pensioners, farmers, and business people. A semi U-Turn looks likely. Who will they upset next? There's a mini-budget coming-up next week.

If you wondered what happened to amateur pugilist Mike Amesbury, he has now quit as an MP. No-one is surprised. The by-election should be interesting.

I do hope you don't need to catch trains on the East coast. Recently one of their train drivers was sacked, so the others, who are all paid a minimum of £72,223 p.a., will be going on strike for 56 days. The train drivers Union, Aslef, claims that the driver was 'unfairly dismissed'. Well, they would say that, wouldn't they!

STOP PRESS. The Africans occupying The Gaité Lyrique theatre in Paris, have now all been booted out by the CRS. I believe they were very 'firm' with their removal techniques. About bloody time.

It is now estimated that 286 excellent schools will close due to the Socialist 'Education Tax'. Have these people absolutely no idea about what they're doing? If you force the very best schools in the country to close, the inevitable result is a lowering of standards. One has to presume that that is their aim! 

On the High Street, 95 branches of the bank Santander will close (7 of which are here in Sussex), with the loss of 750 jobs. It doesn't get any better. Rachel from Accounts' plan is working well; everyone in the UK will soon be out of work. Poor old Britain!

In 'the olden days' it was expected that the taxes of the young would pay for the pensions of the old. These days the old continue to work after retirement age so that 1.3 Million people can sit around and do eff-all, claiming benefits. It's a funny old world! If Labour can sort this out; good for them!

And in the downtrodden People's Republic of Birmingham, the Rats are still running riot, and people are attacking the bin-men. Hey Ho.

The Death Sentence.

I am NOT in favour of bringing back the death sentence per se, but in certain cases I see no alternative.

In recent weeks we've heard of two UK murder cases that were so appalling that to allow the perpetrators to continue living seems almost like a crime in itself.

This (seemingly normal looking) person below is Nicholas Prosper. He murdered his Mother, his Sister, and his Brother, and, luckily, was arrested whilst on his way to commit what he called 'The Massacre of the Century' at a local school. He, apparently, wished to become the world's most famous murderer!

I have no qualms in saying that people who commit such dreadful crimes should sacrifice their own lives as a result. Instead, in liberal Britain, he will spend about 50 years in prison at the taxpayers expense.

Another young person, Kyle Clifford, recently raped and murdered his ex-Girlfriend, then went on to murder her Mother, and her Sister with a Crossbow. Totally senseless and brutal killings. He is yet another person who should automatically have surrendered his right to live, and be 'terminated'; instead of which he has also been sentenced to 'life in prison' at our expense.

On a more macabre subject, I remember well the hanging of the murderer Ruth Ellis. I was at Prep' School at the time and remember counting down the seconds, along with a crowd of other boys, to the exact time she was to hang. 9 am on the 13th July 1955. Something only nasty little schoolboys could do, but at the time it seemed warranted.

I am not suggesting brutal methods of execution. Like many dog owners I have sadly witnessed a dog being 'put to sleep'. Firstly they are given a jab that knocks them out, then another that stops the heart. The process is simple, quick, and as kind as one could imagine. There is no reason why a murderer should not be offered the same end; even though he might merit something more appropriate.

I doubt, also, if there would be many cases each year where the death sentence is warranted. But I do believe that the option should be there for judges to give in the very worst cases.

The two above are cases in point.

 

Panic Stations.

His Royal Highness President Macron is to issue every home in France with a 20 page guide on 'How to survive a Nuclear War', or something of that sort.

The pamphlet which will arrive before Summer will advise on keeping tinned food, batteries, bottled water, first aid pack, penknife, and even board-games, in the house.

It, apparently, also advises in case of Nuclear attack, to close all doors and windows. And says to join your local 'Civil Defence' group, if there is one.

Well, I think I'm already reasonably kitted-out. I have plenty of canned food in the house, I have wine, loads of candles, and a good supply of logs for the fire and cooking. I also have 'self defence' kit (ahem).

I shall probably need extra Silver Foil for hats etc. and anti-radiation cream for my face and hands.

So, if Putin can find me (and if I'm in France when it happens) I'm ready for him.

Put your dukes up Vlad... I'll be ready and waiting!

 

Pork Pie

Regular readers will know that I am a great advocate of the humble (and not so humble) British PORK PIE. I understand that 40 Million of these beauties are eaten in the UK each year.

A good pork pie is a delight, but sadly most are of mediocre or inferior quality. The one below (which looks, and is, perfect) is from Waitrose, and is one of the best. It is by a Co called Walkers, and is made specially for Waitrose. You can buy them at their Deli counter.

Pork pie making shouldn't be a mystery. A good 'hot water crust pastry' filled with slightly seasoned minced Pork, and later filled with a flavoursome jelly; that's all it is. I have even made them myself; although I did find it difficult filling the jelly liquid.

What better treat for a Summer picnic than a really good hand-made pork pie. That F & M hamper in the boot of the Royce should contain cold game meats, chilled sparkling wine, home-made pickles, and of course a Grand Pork Pie. A Dickensian Pie. One that would feed at least a dozen people, and still have some left-over for the servants. 

Ignore that boring Polo at Windsor, or those tedious horses racing around at Ascot, and enjoy a relaxed afternoon on your tartan blanket, with a large slice of pie and some piccalilli. I'm almost swooning just thinking about it.

p.s. The French make something called 'Paté en Croute' (below), which in many ways is similar, although it comes in a long square block. It can be OK, but it's never as good as a pukka Pork Pie.

Apache.

If I was to own a private helicopter (I admit, not very likely), it would have to be an APACHE. 

It would have to be black, have plenty of false rockets/bombs, and look very menacing. Just imagine landing in one of those on your back lawn. It would certainly keep the neighbours in their place!

The Apache is one of the most sophisticated military helicopters ever made. I believe that during action, the pilots simply have to look at a target (via the helmet) and push a button. Everything happens automatically. Bang.

I'm not sure how much room there is in the back for suitcases, Lady M, Billy, etc, but I'm sure we'd make-do. We might even be able to fix a roof-rack. I'd probably also have to employ my own mechanic for regular services, which might prove expensive.

I'm also not too sure how the manager of my local Sainsbury's would see my landing it in his car park for my Saturday shopping trips. I might have to give him a £5 backhander to look the other way.

If I see a nice looking second-hand Apache for sale, and they're willing to take The Compact Royce in part exchange, then I might well buy one. It would certainly solve our horrendous traffic problems.

I'd better take Helicopter Flying lessons just in case.

 

Scything lawn-length grass

When I first began house-hunting in France, I was taken to see a hilltop property that on paper sounded ideal.

It was a U shaped, stone-built, property with the house in the middle and two huge long barns at right angles forming a perfect courtyard. The courtyard itself was closed by a wall, tall gateposts, and big wrought iron gates on the fourth side.

The property was a working farm, and also contained about a hectare of vines, along with all the equipment for wine making. Its elevated situation was ideal, but it lacked trees.

When we arrived to view the property, an elderly man, probably the grandfather, was scything the grass in the courtyard. He took long slow sweeps with his scythe and did as good a job as anyone would with a modern mower. It was a spectacular sight.

I've tried scything myself, and I can assure you it's not easy even with a well-honed scythe. This woman (below) shows what skill it takes. She makes it look so easy too.

p.s. I didn't buy the property because, at the time, it was all too much for me. I knew nothing of either farming or wine-making; but it was a lovely property. These days I might have said 'yes'. 

The first garden mower was invented around 1830, so all properties were previously hand scythed (or Sheep cropped). The world's great houses such as Longleat, Hampton Court, or Versailles had their perfectly manicured lawns cut by hand. It must have been a full time job for several people.

Looking back; looking forward.

Where is that young man that I used to know? That eager Art Student with such great ideals and ambition.

Where is that lush wavy hair, that full set of teeth, and infectious smile? 

Little did he know, whilst sitting in that chair, that he would soon meet the girl of his dreams, end-up with three children, and spend 50 years living in the South of France. The world was certainly his Oyster, and he was to consume them by the dozen.

I remember him as a bonviveur. He loved food, wine, and untipped Gauloises cigarettes. He enjoyed the better things of life. He also lived a very waste-free existence. He had a large vegetable garden, plenty of fruit trees, and a medium sized Chestnut plantation. He ploughed his own land, where he sowed and harvested Maize and Wheat, and he had a large run-full of Chickens and Ducks. He lived 'The Good Life', even before 'the good life' had been invented. 

In time he lost some of his 'sparkle'. His children grew-up and moved away, he moved to a smaller home, and eventually divided his time between the South of France and the South of England.

Now he is getting old. His mobility has become limited. The bushy hair and endearing smile have gone, and he walks his black and white dog with a rolling gait, a silver topped cane, and the occasional grimace. He is no longer that young man that he still likes to think he is.

He contemplates. He reads. He fills-in countless crosswords. He still enjoys his food and drink, but no longer scours the earth for the finest cafés or restaurants. His dancing days are over too, and he is now more likely to watch 'Strictly' than be seen performing a jig at the local fêtes.

He no longer has a studio in which to work, or even the desire to do so, so his painting days are over, and his life's previous output must suffice.

Luckily his wit remains, and he enjoys good company. He will still search the woods for the very best mushrooms. and he still grows much of his own fruit. His 'second home' garden is a passion, and he tends it with pride. He will swim, he will BBQ, and he will enjoy the sunshine.

So, now he studies the faces of his grandsons, and sees something of himself there. He has watched them grow into fine young men. His hope for them is that they have as much fun in life as he once had, and that their wives give them sons and daughters that they can be proud of too.

The week in brief.

I've been desperately looking for some good news this past week, but I'm afraid; unsuccessfully. 

The throwing-out of old Ironing Boards continues apace (below). If I had a £pound for every discarded ironing board I've already seen this year, I could probably buy several pints at the Pub'.

They do love spending, don't they! Having devoted much time criticising the Tories over the quite meagre cost of Rishi's short Helicopter flights, we now discover that the Socialist Speaker of the House, Lindsay Hoyle, has racked-up £250,000 in expenses, by swanning around the world, with his wife Catherine, in business class. Plus; we hear that a load of travelling Socialist ministers together cost the taxpayer another £2 Million in just 9 days. Great work if you can get it!

Our good friend Tr*mp apparently doesn't feel 'so special anymore' after hearing that Zelensky was invited to meet King Charles. Being invited to meet The King is a huge honour for anyone (and that includes Tr*mp), and can be revoked at any minute; I hope in his case it is! What a bloody cheek that man has!

If you live in the UK, don't get ill. The Socialists spent years berating the previous government about benefit cuts, claiming that it would be the equivalent of 'genocide'. But guess what? Those same Socialists are now actually doing it, and are about to cut sickness benefits. They've already had a go at the elderly, farmers, and business people; now it's the turn of the sick. It is said that about a Million benefit claimants will suffer. Just as long as they don't cut the benefits of the most vulnerable, OK. It's the scroungers who need seeing-to.

If this collision, off the Yorkshire coast (above), wasn't intentional; I'll eat my beret! 

Everyone in Britain knows that the Socialists are the party of unemployment. Now 10,000 NHS jobs are to go, in order to streamline the service a bit. In fact I am totally in agreement with Starmer about this. The NHS has been 'management heavy' for far too long. Next job is to get nurses nursing, and not spending half their time in front of computer screens. At present nurses have to cope with a 'Mountain of Paperwork', when I was younger there was a clipboard at the end of the bed; and a Matron in charge!

And finally, if you're worried about 'Global warming', Boffins tell us that the next Ice Age is due in 11,000 years time. That should cool things down a bit!

Someone must have just remembered that 'Climate Change' is cyclical. Well done that Boffin!

Good luck?

My luck must be changing. This black cat sat on our doorstep yesterday as if it was trying to tell me something.

"Buy a EuroMillions lottery card" it said.

Perhaps I'll find a valuable diamond ring on the ground, or discover an unknown Matisse in a junk shop. Whatever happens; today is my day!

I'm crossing my fingers, stroking my lucky Rabbit's foot, and caressing my small bronze 'Joan the Wad'.

I shall also re-hang my lucky horseshoe on the outside shed, search for 4 leaf clovers, and avoid the number 13.

If all that doesn't work; I don't know what would.

 

Hooligan Grannies.

These two smug-looking OAP vandals, Diane Bligh 77 and Alyson Lee 66, are responsible for spraying paint over Charles Darwin's grave in Westminster Abbey. I hope they are pleased with themselves; they certainly look it. In court they both pleaded 'not guilty'. Well, they would wouldn't they!

Is there any point of lying to intelligent people in court when there is plenty of photographic evidence to prove that they are 100% guilty?

The day when their miserable lives come anywhere close to being as exemplary as that of Darwin's, it'll be a bloody miracle. Is it simply his genius they despise so much? Why is it that these lefties hate excellence so much?

Their case will be heard in May, and could last three days.

With the evidence below, I would have thought it would take no more than 5 minutes.

Of course, nothing will happen to them; not in modern Britain. Meanwhile some poor man returning from holiday in France found an African stowaway hiding amongst his bicycles. He phoned the police at once, and has now received a fine of £1,500 for importing an illegal immigrant. The African stowaway has probably been booked into a nice hotel, given a mobile phone, and plenty of spending money.

That's the UK for you! Totally bloody bonkers!

Vacuum for dog owners.

For such a tiny home, you'd hardly think we need TWO battery powered vacuum cleaners.

We've just bought a second one, for downstairs. The first one got tangled with dog hair around its spinning brush, and had to be de-tangled after every use; which was a lengthy process. It was a pain in the neck even though it was advertised as being specially for pet hair.

The new one (below) is a Vax Homepro 'pet design', and works wonderfully. The other one (a Vax Blade 4) we now use for upstairs only, where Billy fears to tread.

The new one is a bit of a brute, but it works really well; even the emptying system is well designed, and works perfectly.

My only complaint is that even though they are both Vax machines, and both new, they don't use the same size batteries and battery charger, which I find rather annoying.

So, if you have a permanently moulting dog in the house, I can thoroughly recommend the Vax Homepro 'pet design'. 

It does what it says on the box!

(I'm not on commission)

 

The Gaité Theatre again.

You may remember that I mentioned the 'sit-in' at Paris's Gaité Lyrique Theatre back in January.

Well I'm saddened to say that the occupation still continues; they have been there for THREE MONTHS.

It all happened after a well-meaning radical left-wing group of theatre staff invited a bunch of immigrants to a 'Welcome to Refugees' conference, after which they REFUSED TO LEAVE.

Since then about young 450 African men have taken-over the theatre and are causing mayhem.

One local business, the small bistro next door, is now threatened with bankruptcy as a result of the Africans spreading themselves around outside (as well as inside). Other local businesses have been threatened with violence if they criticise the Africans, and the once popular theatre and its surrounding area has become a disaster zone.

In France the CRS (riot police) are known for not holding back, so quite why they haven't gone in and arrested each and every one of them, I cannot imagine. They've had three months to think about it. No doubt the 'European Convention on Human Rights' prevents them from being mean.

What a bloody state of affairs. No wonder so many immigrants think Europe is a 'soft touch'. It really has become a joke!

 

News from the street

 

Nothing much happens here, but I suppose our biggest news of recent times is that we now have a BISHOP in residence in our little bijou street.

My senior school was positioned next door to a cathedral, and it played a very important part in our daily lives. As such I did get to meet the Bish' from time to time. He invited me to Tea on a couple of occasions, but I can't say that he was a particularly interesting person.

I have yet to meet my new Bishop neighbour, so I can't offer a character report; but from what I see of him on our WhatsApp page, he seems like a nice chap.

He originates from Australia, but his job in the UK was as Bishop to a large nearby W Sussex town.

So, how do I address him when we meet in the street? 'Your Grace', 'Your worship' maybe? Or just plain 'Good morning Bishop'!

I'm just waiting for him to name his house 'The Bishop's Palace', after which I will name ours 'Pandemonium'.

Do you have a Bishop in your road? No, I didn't think you did!

Prophecy of the Popes

'The Prophecy of the Popes' is a 900 year old book, discovered in 'The Vatican Secret Archives' in 1595 by a Benedictine Monk.

The book 'allegedly' contains 112 cryptic Latin phrases concerning the life of all Popes, up until the end of the world in 2027. Just a couple of years away.

Magicians, soothsayers, and mystics love these kind of books. They like to think that the further one goes back in time, the sharper the clairvoyance of their authors must be. Predictions from year 1100 are bound to be wiser than anything written last year. There is wisdom in the passage of time that modern clairvoyants simply don't possess. What a load of tripe.

Of course, someone at some time is bound to get something right. We even had a dog in the UK that was correctly predicting horse racing results (or at least his owners claimed he did).

Predicting the future is simply a question of guesswork, one cannot predict with certainty about something that has yet to exist. We all know of the Irishman who had 20/20 vision, and could see into the past; but seeing into the future is a very different matter.

However, words such as 'Vatican Secret Archives' are bound to get the conspiracy theorists excited, and they were no doubt in the Pub' this last weekend telling everyone that the world will end in two years time, and they should sign over all their wealth. You can't take 'worldly goods' into heaven.

So, please send all your 'worldly goods' to me here in Brighton; just in case!!!

 

Last week's news (that you may have missed).

 

You really couldn't make it up! Drugs have become such a problem at H.M.Prison Maidstone in Kent, that the governor had decided to install CCTV (why wasn't there any previously?). However, little did he know that the prison was Grade 2 listed, and permission to install the cameras was REFUSED. Do these folk have any brains? Laughing stock, or what! 

People of my age never imagined that Woolworth's would disappear from our High Streets, nor Freeman Hardy Willis, or even Mac Fisheries; but all have gone. Now we hear that the newsagent W H Smith (founded in 1792) is also to go, but maybe not from our Airports or Railway Stations. The stores will still be there but under a different name, and hopefully doing a better job! If other stores around the country are anything like our huge one here, then the sooner they have new management, and business strategy, the better.

In the Socialist-run People's Republic of Birmingham they have a severe Rat Problem. The incompetently run Council became bankrupt in 2023, and with their striking bin-men (and more strikes on the way) the rubbish is mounting by the day; and the Rats are loving it. Even the city's airport has become over-run. The Council now even have the bloody cheek to charge residents who have serious Rat infestations a sum of £26 'Rat Tax' to help get rid of them. Whatever next!

Those charming pro-Hamas supporters have struck again. This time they have attacked 'The Old Schools' in Cambridge (above); spraying red paint over the beautiful ancient gateway façade. The building dates from around 1440, and is Grade 1 listed. If they really do think that Hamas did a good job on October 7th, there's really no need to destroy our heritage in order to tell us. I do hope that when they're caught, they are stripped naked and sprayed red all over before serving a very long prison sentence.

Perhaps the most shocking story of the week was that Tr*mp is to deport 240,000 Ukrainians, back to their war-torn country. Has there ever been a more insensitive policy concerning foreign nationals who have fled a horrific military invasion, to find asylum in another country?  Heartless and appalling. I could hardly believe what I was reading.

The Socialist ex-Mayor of The People's Republic of Liverpool, Joe Anderson, and his sidekick, the infamous Trotskyist Derek Hatton, are up before The Beak next month. These two charmers, plus another 10 Socialist councilors, and a sprinkling of wives, have allegedly been filling their pockets in exchange for planning permits. It just never stops with this lot; is anyone surprised?

And finally, Britain's new Foreign Secretary, Socialist David Lammy (above), has decided that from April criminals of Ethnic or Religious minorities should receive more lenient sentences than their native UK counterparts. The introduction of this two-tier system means that foreign criminals will in future be less likely to go to prison, creating an anti-white and anti-Christian bias. 

It used to be said that everyone was equal under the law; but not now! Oh dear oh dear; what HAS become of us! Has there ever been a worse face of Socialism!!!

EV's

 

It was good whilst it lasted, but it seems as if the recent love affair with electric cars is slowly waning. Stocks of brand new cars are piling-up, and the second-hand market is very poor. I have even read that BMW are returning to concentrate on their petrol/diesel cars again.

The big fuel players, BP, Shell, etc, are now heavily re-investing in fossil fuel excavation, and have abandoned the whole idea of net-zero.

The basic idea of electric cars was a good one, but they needed to be run from bodywork entirely constructed of solar-cells, with no need to plug-in every couple of hundred miles.

'The World Solar Challenge' was/is a race across Australia, north to south, for 3,000 kms. The cars were entirely fueled by the sun, and they worked very well. I think my old Alma Mater even entered a vehicle one year.

Really, the best fuel for the future of travel is Hydrogen. Once a small machine (that would fit in the boot) has been invented to separate Hydrogen from Oxygen, and one fills-up with tap water, then we'll all be happy.

I would never buy an electric car, so I can't say I'm sorry to hear of their decline. No doubt there'll always be a few around, but Petrol and Diesel is very much here to stay. 

Another problem for EV's is that Tesla's owner, Elon Musk, has made himself none too popular at the moment, and I hear that it's affecting his, and other EV Co's, sales drastically.

So, for once, I have to agree with Tr*mp; drill, baby, drill. 

What's going on?

 

I quite expect everyone was as puzzled as I was. When I heard that brothers Andrew and Tristan Tate had been allowed to leave Romania, and fly to the USA, I was really shocked. What the hell is going on here? Has Tr*mp colluded with Romania?

The two brothers who were awaiting trial in Romania on several criminal charges, were given their passports, and allowed to fly out of the country. What sort of legal system do they have out there? 

I can only imagine that the Romanian authorities really don't like their own criminals, and want to be rid of the whole lot of them a.s.a.p. Or perhaps some bizarre deal was done with Tr*mp.

Many Romanians turn-up in the UK and run criminal gangs; controlling drugs scams and prostitution. Some do get sent back home, but mostly they are allowed to stay; as it's their 'human rights'.

So, what will Tr*mp do with this charming pair of criminals? Will he prosecute them under US law? Will he send them back to the UK where they're also wanted by the Cops? Perhaps he'll invite them into The Oval Office to stand beside Musk & Co. We hear that he's already welcomed them to his home in Florida.

It's all a bloomin' mystery. 

Poussin.

It makes a bit of a change, so when Susie and Kimbo came for Sunday Lunch, I offered them Poussin rather than the usual leg of Lamb or roast Pork.

Half a Poussin is enough for anyone; a whole Poussin is too much.

I lightly seasoned them, and swathed them in streaky bacon. An hour in the oven accompanied by some spuds, and Bob's your Uncle. 

As with a roast Chicken, there are plenty of bones left over for stock. We eat Vegetable Soup every day for lunch, so a good supply of stock is essential.

Poussin are not very exciting, but there's plenty of meat on them, and they look nice. Two birds is the equivalent of one Chicken. A Poussin is basically a small Chicken of less than 28 days old, and weighing between 400 and 450 gms.

As an aside; the 'Guy Degrenne' stainless steel serving dish (above) comes from France. Back in the 70's and 80's EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE, had a set of these. We have everything from round bowls to tiny saucers for Olives. They came as a set of about 12 different shaped and sized pieces, and have proved extremely useful ever since I bought them. Sadly I think they are no longer made, otherwise I would buy more as gifts.

 

Wild-ish Mushrooms?

Whilst Kimbo was recently galivanting out in the Sussex countryside, buying wood for his fire, he also popped into a nearby Farmer's Market, where he bought me this fabulous boxed selection of mushrooms. The only one's I recognised, and have previously eaten, were the pale grey Oyster Mushrooms. The others were all a bit of a mystery.

The rather thick stemmed ones in the top middle are becoming very popular in the UK, but don't ask me what they're called.

Of course, the best thing to do with such delights is to make an omelet.

And, it was totally delicious. If you should see such a selection of wild-ish mushrooms on your travels, don't hesitate. They are superb.

                                         

New proof?

Some very wise, and no doubt well-paid, boffins have recently declared that The Shroud of Turin is 100% GENUINE.

Oh dear, oh dear. Let's start with the basics. Looking at the human figure imprinted on the cloth, the cloth would have to have been rigid, flat, and laid lengthways, like a sheet of glass, floating over the figure for any 'photographic' image to have been magically imprinted. This, of course, never happens when a body is wrapped for burial. Bodies are 'swathed' in cloth; round and round, not up and down in one long rigid piece.

No, I'm sorry folks, but this is an artists image. An image of a Caucasian hippy with long hair and a beard. The classic image from story-books that we are now told would have looked nothing like the true subject matter at all.

It is 'possible' that the artist got some model to lie down, covered him in paint, then manually pressed a cloth all over to create the image, but even that I think is a bit far-fetched. Much easier to have painted it directly.

I doubt if the image was originally designed to fool anyone, it is simply an 'illustration' to decorate a chapel, or other religious building. Such things were created in an age when reading and writing was rare, and 'easy to understand' images were used to illustrate religious stories. What better way to illustrate a story than with a 'visual relic'.

Of course, if any religious tale, activity, or object, gives comfort to their followers, then that is fine by me. It simply proves that it is effective!

Obviously the 'Turin shroud effect' is still working.
 

Bikes.

Now that my 'Rugby knee' no longer allows me to ride a push bike, I would really like to buy myself a motorised version.

This one (above) is my sort of bike. A bike that could go anywhere. It has a polished fuel tank, nice chunky tyres, and a great look. I might change the seat for something less 'podgy', and remove the 43 number, but otherwise both me and Steve McQueen would happily be seen on board this baby.

My only problem is that I never learned how to change gears on a bike, so maybe an 'automatic' version could be made.

I'd buy a cheeky black peaked helmet, and some black leather gloves; and maybe even a MOTORHEAD T Shirt.

So, look out Brighton; there could soon be a new biker on the loose. Tally Ho!

 

Another week goes by.

I promise I won't mention Tr*mp.

Last Sunday, France's 6 Nations Rugby team beat Italy by 73 points to 24. I've never heard of such a score. They would hardly have had time for the occasional wet sponge. I missed the match; I was at the theatre.

The world is becoming a very dangerous place, even on the domestic front. One thing I really dislike writing about is the constant bad behaviour of asylum-seeking immigrants. Sadly so many are involved in criminal gangs, drug dealing, shoplifting, pickpocketing, anti-social behaviour, etc, that sometimes one wonders if any of them are honest at all.

The latest scandal has been over in Ireland where knife attacks (the above photo is actually in Leeds), drug turf wars, and general violence has made the streets of Dublin into no-go zones for many natives. They run-riot with machetes in the centre of Dublin, and, as they know they can get away with it, they simply do what they want. With their hoodies and face-masks, there's no-one to stop them other than a few vigilantes; and even they have no real powers. Very worrying and disappointing!

Drunken Socialist MP, Mike Amesbury, has been jailed for 10 weeks (now suspended for 2 years) after sucker-punching one of his constituents (see interesting video below). It was such a brutal punch that I might recommend him to play for Croydon Rugby Club. He would make a perfect addition to their team. Of course, he's been booted out of the Socialist Party, but luckily for him, his huge salary continues to be paid. Amesbury and fellow Socialist John Prescott would have made great sparring partners. It's good to know we can all go around knocking the lights out of innocent bystanders with impunity! Or is that only if you're an MP?

It's also good to know that the BBC spends our TV Licence Fee wisely. Their recent 'unbiased' view of Gaza was narrated by the young son of the Hamas Minister of Agriculture (whatever that means), and seemed to entirely forget that it was his father's terrorist chums who caused the recent conflict. I think it's about time that the BBC payed their own way if they're going to continue with their extreme terrorist-friendly political leanings. I don't want my Licence fee paying for that rubbish. It cost us £400,000; how much of which went direct to Hamas terrorists, they have yet to reveal.

Both our national treasure actress Susan Hampshire, and Lady Victoria Hervey were mugged in London this week for their phones. Even the rich, famous, and vulnerable aren't immune. Could someone please manufacture a faux, exploding phone that we would be happy to have stolen?

At last some common sense from Hamas. Billionaire Hamas leader, Mousa Abu Marzouk, has said he regrets the October 7th attack. Knowing now how the retaliation would have developed, he thinks it was a bad idea. A bit late mate! Did he honestly think that Israel wouldn't retaliate???

The charming Jas Athwal MP (Socialist) has stood down as a councillor in S London on account of the appalling state of his SEVEN rental properties; which includes a Children's Home. It seems that insect infestations and black mold have made the properties uninhabitable, but he doesn't seem to care as long as the money keeps rolling in. Hey Ho!

And finally, the Catholic church is hoping to boost it's funds after they admit to having spent $5 Billion in hush money to sex abuse victims over the past 20 years. Those naughty Catholic priests; it doesn't get any better, does it! 

SCUM.

 

The word 'Scum' is not one I use willy-nilly. However, in this case it is perfectly warranted.

I cannot understand why young people should go into our lovely churchyard (or anywhere else) on a sunny lunchtime, to eat their McSandwich and drink their McBlotto, then simply leave all their detritus around where they were sitting.

When I was small there were two things that were totally forbidden; dropping litter, and eating in the street. Both of these now seem obligatory to the Gen Z'ers. I would no more have left an empty bottle on the ground, than I would have punched a Policeman. It was something we simply DID NOT DO!

So WHY? Why do they do it? Did no-one mention to them that it is anti-social? Did their parents, sadly, lead by example? What goes through their effing minds? Why-o-why do young people leave so much bloody rubbish behind them, everywhere they go?

We have Parking wardens who issue tickets to illegal parkers, so why don't we have Litter wardens to fine these scumbags. They would need a camera with a good telephoto lens (proof), a tazer, a pair of handcuffs and the power to issue an instant £500 fine (or be sent to a compound until they pay-up). The service would pay for itself and probably even make a profit. We really do need to be tough with these scumbags.

It makes me so angry!