Saturday 1 September 2018

The Magnon Plan.


                        

I'm so pissed off by all the brexit in-fighting and back-stabbing that I've devised my own 'white paper'.

Right Mrs May, let's have no more mucking about; go and tell those overpaid Brussels bullies that all negotiations are now over. Finito.

No handing over our tens of billions, no trade agreements, and no customs union. From today we are finished with them, and if they wish to continue selling all their cars, washing machines, and beer to the UK, they had better hot-foot to Westminster and start reciprocal negotiations pretty bloody quick, otherwise we'll all be driving Cadillacs, drinking Budweiser, swapping Airbus for Boeing, and wearing Ralph Lauren T Shirts.

And by the way, all that money we've paid in since 1973 to build those fancy EU buildings in Brussels and elsewhere, we'll now be selling back our share of them to the rest of you, and we'll want paying 'pronto'. Everything else we've paid-for, for the use of the EU big-wigs, will be sold-off later.

Mrs M, I seem to remember you once saying "brexit means brexit", so come on; pull your bloody finger out! We're becoming extremely bored with the whole wretched process. Brexit shouldn't mean limp, drawn out, cow-towing, brexit. It should mean strong, tell 'em what's-what brexit. Take control!

I believe that the EU exports a staggering £341 Billion worth of goods to the UK annually; 53% of all UK imports. Now if that ain't the finest thumb-screw to negotiate with, I don't know what is!

Make them come to you; not you go cap-in-hand to them. Enough is enough.


34 comments:

  1. No chance with May. She is the epitome of the pontificating disaster.
    I could go on at length but what will be will be and business will sort it out in the end,

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    Replies
    1. There seems to be no enthusiasm in the negotiations. But I can guarantee, if the EU were negotiating with the UK over future trade, we'd see a very different attitude.

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  2. Too many people have been riding a gravy train for too long, obviously they're going to string it out as long as possible.

    I fail to comprehend what can take so much time and "negotiation".

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    Replies
    1. I can understand lengthy negotiations to JOIN a club, but not to LEAVE. The only current negotiations should be from the EU to join the UK's new 'single market'.

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  3. The CBI should be put out to grass. They do not represent British Industry at all. There should be a farmers coup with teleporters who take over Downing Street and government, close the BBC, and schools and we would be out of the EU in time for British turkey, Fenland sprouts and Kentish apple sauce on Christmas Day. Schools would re-open in February with happy children after a long holiday playing in the streets and in new uniforms taught by country folk on ways of skills in wood and survival and story telling, sewing and cooking and maths and classics. Teachers would be conscripted to a new army where they could let out their aggression and relearn survival in controlled situations on Dartmoor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hadn't really considered all that; at least not as a part of Brexit!

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    2. It would get Brexit finished by Christmas and then stage 2 would be to involve the schools and retrain teachers without which there would be regression.

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  4. Well said. And give them a kick in the pants from us too

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  5. Send off your white paper Cro. It might be just the impetus Mrs May needs. If it doesn't work out perfectly then I'm sure you'll find a solution.
    Alphie

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    Replies
    1. I reckon my solution would work perfectly, it's just a matter of finding some politicians with a spine to put it into action.

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  6. Bravo Cro! My view exactly, Mrs May is afraid of her own shadow, the civil service is useless and most of her MPs are hoping Brexit fails.

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    Replies
    1. I was a 'remain' voter, but I'm now becoming so sick of those Brussels clowns that our exit can't come quickly enough.

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  7. I am beginning to feel the same way. The trouble is that we cannot afford to buy back all the industries we sold off years ago. Harold MacMillan was absolutely right.

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    Replies
    1. And it's still happening. See Costa and Coca Cola.

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    2. The difference now is that it is happening to the service industries. There is no heavy industry left to strip.

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  8. I am not sure which is worse, negotiating with the EU or Trump on NAFTA.

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    Replies
    1. You'd better toss a coin. Heads Trump; tails the EU.

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  9. Merkel has chosen Juncker's successor. Having 'consulted' the French Herr Weber of Bavaria is being flagged up to as the chosen one. You see how it's going? Exactly to plan.

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    Replies
    1. I thought King Junker of all Luxembourg was there for the duration. Has he been pushed by Merkel?

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    2. It is a five year fixed term of office, EU presidency

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    3. They got something right then!

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  10. We may have some wonderful things available for trade soon.
    Barb from Canada

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    Replies
    1. Of course. Perhaps I could interest you in some softwood lumber, a new car and a parka?

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    2. We'll (the UK) have all of those, thank you. Maybe we could swap them for English Champagne, wine gums, and pork scratchings. See, we're getting somewhere already!

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  11. That’s what I call a plan, we need to stop running scared.

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  12. Go Cro, and we can sell you heaps of things too, just like we did in the good old days. Butter, milk, wine, wool, wheat...we do clean and green very well and also on offer iron ore, petroleum, gas, coal and uranium. I do warn though, be careful what you wish for. Have you ever tasted Budweiser?

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    Replies
    1. ABSOLUTELY. I only mentioned Bud' to frighten those huge EU brewers, on whom the UK seems to now rely. I prefer a pint of Draught Guinness.

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  13. Yes~! Brilliant Cro, I'll go with that!

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