Wednesday, 23 May 2018

To the new Duke and Duchess of Sussex.


                           Résultat de recherche d'images pour "the long man sussex"

If there was anywhere on earth to become the Duke and Duchess of; surely the best must be Sussex.

I cannot claim to be a native of Sussex, as was my father (I was born just over the border in Surrey), but for most of my UK residency I lived in Sussex. It is not known as 'Heaven on Earth' for nothing.

Your Graces; I would like to be amongst the first to officially invite you down to Sexy Sussex. We could put-you-up overnight in Brighton, maybe order ourselves an 'Indian', then I'll take you on a tour the following morning.

Firstly we would head for Chanctonbury Ring, which, as everyone knows, is the very centre of The Garden of Eden; and you will see why it was so perfectly chosen.

After a brisk walk, we'll go for lunch at The Shepherd and Dog in Fulking.

Having partaken of good Sussex Ale and Sausages I'll take you on a short roundabout tour of your new Duchy, to show you some of the delights that you might otherwise miss.

We'll go through Steyning, (which in times past was actually a sea port), then on to Storrington and beautiful West Chiltington (I'll show you the lovely thatched house where I used to live), then north to Horsham (pronounced Hors-am; not Hor-sham) where my father was at school.

From Horsham we'll head South again through stunning countryside back towards Lewes (the county town of E Sussex), then on to Charleston Farmhouse to look at some Bloomsbury painting and decor. Then finally on to Wilmington where we'll admire The Long Man (photo above). Here we'll have a flask of tea (Lapsang), with some of Lady Magnon's Lemon drizzle cake and Cucumber sandwiches; I'll bring a couple of tartan blankets.

May I suggest that you borrow a helicopter for the trip. Being such a beautiful and popular county, our roads tend to be quite congested; this is something you may like to look into at a later date.

Let me know when you're both available, and I'll make the necessary arrangements.

Addendum.






40 comments:

  1. Oh Yes !
    Can I come along ?

    cheers, parsnip

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    Replies
    1. If there's room in the helicopter, you'd be very welcome.

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  2. Thanks for the pronounciation of Horsham because I did read it as Hor-sham.
    Greetings Maria x

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    Replies
    1. According to Hilaire Belloc, in Sussex the S and H in a placename should never be pronounced as SH. Bos-am (spelt Bosham) is a good example. But try telling the good folk of Horsham that!

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    2. I was born in Horsham and lived there for 12 years, my father has lived there all his life. We always call it Hor-sham.

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    3. My goodness, I'm pleased to be able to put you right after all those years. I have even added a couple of extra pix to explain all.

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  3. I have always pronounced the "H" - I am chastised. Perhaps, when we make it to the U.K. you will be able to give us the conducted tour.

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    Replies
    1. When were you last in Sussex?

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    2. Maybe 25 years ago....not sure.

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  4. You haven't mentioned the weather!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's called Sunny Sussex. The Sunshine Coast. Sea, sex, and sun. Etc.

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  5. It's all meaningless, this naming business.

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    Replies
    1. Would you have preferred 'The Duke of Norfolk'?, because he already lives in Sussex (Arundel).

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    2. No, I would prefer the Duke and Duchess of California and for them to go and live there.

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    3. Your wish may well be answered; give it time!

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    4. Why all the hate, Rachael? They seem like very nice and charitable people.

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    5. I hate nobody. What a horrible thing to say. They would be happy in the US You are the hater.

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    6. That comment breaks my heart. I am not like you. I speak from the heart. But I hate nobody. You need to examine your judgement of people.

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    7. I know exactly what you meant Rachel. I wouldn't be at all surprised if they don't move to the US at some time.

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  6. These days whatever they are called the HRHs have to live in 'protected/protectable' compounds with their relatives. So London home and Norfolk more than likely. But I suspect that they would love your tour.

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    Replies
    1. I don't expect them to go to live in Sussex, just to visit me occasionally.

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  7. Never been there but your tour makes me want to go, especially Lady M's Lemon Drizzle and the sausages and ale (not together I might add - I'll keep the cake to eat with the tea.

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    Replies
    1. Worth it for the cake alone! If we get a big enough helicopter I'll let you know, and you must join us.

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  8. Cerne Abbas is in Dorset, I suppose you knew?

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    Replies
    1. I believe they wanted to add a big willy on The Long Man, but the good folk of Sussex refused. In Dorset they are less 'refined'.

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    2. Oh, I thought the willy had been airbrushed out. So it is in Sussex.

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    3. In Wilmington.The Long Man of...

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  9. We used to sing a song at school assmebly called Sussex by the sea, changed to ---sex by the sea in every song book of course. I thought it was a hymn but having looked it up I see it is a patriotic song and the county's unoffical anthem. Heaven knows why we were sinign it at High School assembly. It was usually a rousing hymn or two, Onward Christian Soldiers, sort of thing.

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    Replies
    1. We used to sing it at Brighton and Hove Football Club games; usually led by Norman Wisdom.

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  10. I think that I’m all Harry and Meghaned out now !!!
    My sister lives in Horsham and she has never said it’s pronounced Hors-am and she’s lived there over forty years !!! I shall drop it into the conversation when we see them next !!! XXXX

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    Replies
    1. I believe everything that Hilaire Belloc says; others don't. Hors-am it is for me.

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  11. Interesting, Cro. I did phone Horsham District Council (I work in research and can't help digging deeper when something piques my interest). The general consensus, not least among the people living there, appears to be Horsh am.

    U

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    Replies
    1. I would suggest that 100% of Horsham residents agree with your careful research. Mr Belloc occasionally writes with his tongue firmly in his cheek; it is for us to determine exactly when!

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  12. JUST HAD FIRST SWIM OF 2018. 23 C, but really very pleasant.

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    1. I have had the pool open for a month but that is because it is in the 100+ here already and I have the heater on. A little warmer water is better for my arthritis , so
      not cold but cool.

      cheers, parsnip

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    2. The older I get, the more tolerant of cold water I become. Useful!

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  13. Happy times and Happy memories make happy places.

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  14. On his fatigues or battle dress, whatever it's called, Prince Henry's name is WALES. With his red hair and beard reminds me of another Wales. Henry of the Tudors of Ynys Mon. I expect him to be the next Prince of Wales if he doesn't bog off to LA.

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    Replies
    1. As Rachel said above; I wouldn't be at all surprised to hear that his wife wants to spend time in the US, which will eventually mean full time. Not for a while though.

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