Being measured for the noose. He's taking it very bravely.
At every wedding I've ever attended, one is asked "Bride or Groom?", then shown to the appropriate side of the aisle. If this is the case with 'Arry and Megs, there won't be many sitting on the Bride's side; four or five maybe?
As Megs is a divorcee, traditionally she will NOT be wearing white meringue. With only a week to go, newspaper fashion editors can't wait to see how her 'frock' will be.
Things to look out for at Saturday's ceremony: Facial expressions from Beatrice and Eugenie. Lip-reading Phil the Greek. Megs forgetting 'Arry's name. Yawns. Boredom. Children being sick.
They tell me that there will be street parties, with bunting, and jellies; well I hope it doesn't rain for them. It's bad enough having to drink Orange squash, or Robinson's barley water, whilst pretending to be enjoying yourself; let alone being excited for some couple you've never met.
Hey Ho. It'll be the wedding of the week.
I've decided NOT to go.