Post Numero 600: A Half-Hearted Apology.

Reading someone else's posting yesterday morning reminded me of a telephone 'problem' we had many years ago when I was about 16 or 17.

We lived on the south coast of England, and our telephone number was the same as that of a Hairdresser in a nearby village; although the dialing code itself was totally different. People imagined that the code was the same as the larger nearby town (where WE lived), and would dial our number to make an appointment.

The young Cro, and the rest of his immediate family, became rather pissed-off with all these unwanted calls, and we eventually had words with the salon owner (twice), asking him if he could stress to his clients that the code for HIS village was totally different to that of OUR nearby town.

Nothing happened, and the calls continued. So whenever at home I decided to accept appointments myself. On a busy day I would make 20 or more appointments; usually for the same time, and (if I was feeling particularly evil) all for the same day. For some reason his clients always wanted to be coiffed in the mornings, at roughly 10.30am.

I imagine, on occasions, there must have been total chaos in the salon with all these women turning up for their weekly blue rinse, or their Thatcher-like perm', insisting that they were the first to be seen.

I would now like to apologise to all those women whose time I wasted, and also to the salon owner himself. Of course, given the chance I'd do exactly the same again (it was strangely empowering).

Some time later the calls stopped. Wisdom must have prevailed, and I presume he changed his number. Shame!

And the moral of this story? Well, there isn't one!... You'd be spoiling someone's day if you double-checked your hairdresser's phone number. Best to try to memorise it; there's probably another Cro out there somewhere!

Reluctant Star.

In 1978 a film version of Les misérables was shot quite close to where I live. It starred Anthony Perkins, John Gielgud, Celia Johnson, Flora Robson, and several other top-notch actors.

When time came to start filming they had still not found their Cosette, and the search was on.

Everyone said that my then 6 year old daughter 'Tenpin' was perfect for the part. She was the right age, she was quite slim, and with a minimum of make-up could easily have been made to appear 'gaunt'. She was also reasonably gregarious and stage savvy.

She was quite excited about the prospect of becoming a 'film star', and was eager to go. However, when we took her to meet the director, Glenn Jordan, she clammed-up; and refused to say a word (very out of character)!

Eventually the part was played by a girl named Caroline Ranglishe who was much too old, needed to be 100% dubbed (she spoke no English), and frankly was pretty useless.

Oh Tenpin. Had you only opened your mouth at that audition; you might now be divorcing your fifth husband, be appearing on the cover of Celebs-r-us Magazine, or be away on your regular visits to rehab. You might even have been making the obligatory 'Slimming the Cosette way' DVD. Oh well; stardom ain't all it's cracked up to be!

p.s. She now happily works for an Australian university.

Couscous Recipe No 1.

I've been buying this make (and one other) of Couscous for nearly 40 years; ever since I moved south of the channel.

During all those 40 years, the back of the 'Regia' Couscous packet has ALWAYS offered its 'cut-out-n-keep' No 1 recipe for 'Couscous with Lamb and Vegetables'.

Is there a No 2 recipe? Did they simply scratch their beards after No 1? Maybe recipe No 1 was simply so good that they thought it unnecessary to offer a second! Maybe there was never any intention to offer a No 2 recipe, and it was all just a big scam to keep you buying; just in case (for 40 years?)!

The other major manufacturer of Couscous sold in France is 'Tipiak'; maybe I'll start to buy their packs again in hope of finding something different on the back!

Theo Jansen, and his wonderful babies.

No words for this..... Just sit back and enjoy; I know you will!

I have to thank my friend 'California Cathy' for introducing me to these works of genius.

Sunday Nonsense... Lumberjack?

I've not previously mentioned the name of my tiny village, simply for reasons of  privacy (mine, not theirs).

When my previous blog 'Je t'adore, twenty four' was up and running, I received a surprise visit from two English bicycle-riding blog tourists. They had worked out exactly where I lived from my descriptions, and even said that they would have recognised Haddock's (my veg' garden) anywhere! They were a very pleasant couple, but, even so, it was slightly dis-quietening to know that I could be so easily traced (think tax-man, angry husbands, my wine merchant, etc).

Anyway; so what's the name of my village?

Well, it's called 'Lumberjack'. At least that's what Mr Spell-check would have me call it; given half a chance.

We, of course, know it as something else.... but then we would, wouldn't we!

Camouflage?

I've just picked up this fallen 'diseased' Quince leaf; isn't it wonderful!!

Occasionally nature's design department takes me by surprise, and gives me a good slapping. A few years back there was an unfortunate street fashion for camouflaged clothing; the designers (?) could 'literally' have taken a leaf out of the Quince book.

The Army does, of course, still wear such clothing, so if they're looking for new designs, they know where to come!... Cro's Natural Camouflage Co.

The First Picking of Beans.

All vegetable gardeners must feel the same delight at picking the very first of any new crop. Today I picked our first beans, and dug our first proper lot of new potatoes.

At the same time I also feel very slightly depressed; a reminder that another circle has been joined, another year gone by.

This year I returned to an old favourite dwarf French bean; Contender. A heavy cropper, and very tender. I don't even 'top and tail'; just 'top'. Over the past few years I've followed friends' recommendations of new varieties, and have been disapointed by the size of the plants I've grown. No, not small, but far too big; almost like runners. Contender remains reasonably dwarf and compact, which is what I want.

With my successional sowings, we should be eating beans (in one form or another) for several months to come. Bonne appetit.