Dear Santa,
I must admit to having used a lot of 'bad words' this year; but I think they were mostly warranted. What with my car breaking down and dying in Rouen, my legs becoming uncooperative, all these wretched irresponsible strikes we're having, Boris quitting his post far too early, Putin behaving like Hitler on a bad day, H M The Queen leaving us, my friend Sue dying, those two spoilt brats in California being a total pain, and various other disasters or annoyances, it really hasn't been the best of years.
However, I have tried to be good. I've picked-up other people's rubbish, I've found lost property and managed to find the owners, and I've befriended some who otherwise had no friends. I know I could have done a lot more, but I'm getting old.
So what would I like you to do for me for Christmas (if anything)?
Could you please do something about Putin? This would not only be the best present imaginable for me personally, but for people the world over. Could you also do something about the Woke lovies re-writing of history, and the horrible accusations of 'racism and misogyny' that are being bandied about by those two white spoilt brats (you-know-who) in California.
Could you also please re-program those who've been brainwashed into gluing themselves to roads, paintings, and floors. And finally could you bring a halt to all the extreme Religions and Political Regimes that bring so much pain and misery to the world. No-one would miss Putin, The Taliban, Xi Jinping, or Kim Jong-un, or even a few other 'firebrands' closer to home. Thank you.
For me personally, I would love some more responsive legs. Having my walking distances limited is becoming tiresome. A wave of your leg-wand would be much appreciated.
I shall leave you the usual Mince Pie and glass of Single Malt (by the tree) on Christmas Eve, and I hope that you and Mrs Claus will have a wonderful BIG DAY.
Your friend, Cro xx
46 comments:
You got responsibilities mixed up. Father Christmas isn't a magician. In his might is to deliver, down the chimney, the Lego or Chemistry set you hankered for at age ten. But that's about it. World peace is not in his remit. You may wish to address God, the Universe, indeed yourself and fellow human beings to rectify the ills we create.
As to wear and tear - not least of your legs.. What do you expect? Give it a few more years and Santa Claus will be hard pushed to get a Zimmerframe down your chimney. How worn is your stocking? Will it hold? Is it big enough?
Reindeer greetings (someone does have to do the running),
U
I'll let you into a secret: Santa is god. He is also that fairy at the bottom of your garden, that ghost who frightens you at night, and that guardian angel who looks after you.
Is that a picture of your own window, Cro? It looks very inviting. My Christmas wish is more immediate and selfish - please don't let me forget vital ingredients and let there be enough room in the fridge.
I hope you ( we ) get what you wish for cro
I and everyone one I know are on the naughty list this year.
Not to worry, next year could be a whole lot worse.
Merry Christmas.
Yes, it's chez nous; our bijou home. I just off to buy those vital ingredients!
We can but hope.
I expect it will be. The closer we get to a general election, the more strikes, etc, there'll be (for obvious reasons).
I wish you all your wishes come true. You deserve it. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
If you find out the secret for better legs please let me know. I might put a bottle of single malt under the tree- worth a try.
Thank you Yael, and I wish you 'peace', Cro xx
The oddest letter to Santa I have ever seen and somewhat incongruous, the joke is lost on me. Sorry.
I hadn't thought about a WHOLE bottle, sounds like a better bet.
I think you need to re-read.
Dear Mr Magnon,
You can't get round me with sweet talk so the answer is No, No and No!
Sorry mate,
S. Claus Esquire
P.S. Happy Christmas & all the best for the new year.
What you mean it was serious?
Some of it was.
You're off my Christmas card list, once and for all.
I'm sure Father Christmas will shower you with gifts. The view into your home looks so festive. XXXX
I hope so, I always feel like a small child at Christmas.
Poor Cro, Santa may be too busy delivering more ammunition to a certain couple you've mentioned in California, to bother with your requests!
Merry Christmas to you and yours.
I hope he delivers them some itching powder and a whoopy cushion too.
I love the image of your Christmas tree through the front window. It just occurred to me that I've never looked at my mine through a window because my tree is always situated at the back of the house. I will put on my boots and head into the back yard tonight so I can have a good look.
I hope you find some relief for your legs in 2023. Here's to hoping there's a miraculous cure bubbling away in a lab student's test tube right now.
Great letter, let's hope the big guy delivers.
I should ask for new legs too, but make mine like Betty Grables' please.
Your list is outstanding. Happy Christmas and let's hope for a better 2023.
Merry Christmas Cro!
Santa, if you've got any time after granting all of Cros most deserving wishes I'd like a really good bottle of NZ wine. Well, 2 actually because I'll share it with friends. There's some Grants Whisky leftover from 'sprinkling' over the Xmas cakes. I'll leave you a glass full and an excellent traditional Greek cake.
St Basil will be passing by on New Year's Eve so if your bags full maybe you can pass the message on to him. Cheers!!
Wouldn't that be nice. I don't want to overstate my problem, but it's such a change from being 100% mobile to having become about 60%.
He's usually pretty good. I think he likes the Scotch I leave him.
And make mine like Usain Bolt's.
2022 was pretty rubbishy in many ways. It remains to be seen if 2023 is any better!
Thank you Jennifer.
How he gets round all of us I really don't know; but he does.
Love reading your Christmas list Cro, let's hope that Father Christmas can gift some, if not all of your desires. I too would like a new pair of legs, on the line of Tiny Turner's.
The window view of your tree is stunning, so cozy and festive.
A very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you both, and sweet Billy.
Jo
xx
Cro, I think it was a great letter. If Father Christmas could grant just a few of your requests, it would be wonderful for all of us. Putin and 'our Putin' (like Voldemort - don't like to mention his name - but it starts with a T) keep making life difficult. But wishing you and yours a safe healthy happy Christmas!!
Of course I meant Tina Turner
😊
Your window is gorgeous, Cro! Merry Christmas to the Magnons large and small, and a wish for better legs to come your way!
I hope most of all you get your legs!
Thank you Rian. Yes, how do we allow these people to get where they do!
Even if he doesn't grant all my wishes, I know he'll enjoy the Single Malt.
That picture is beautiful. Santa hasn't listened to me for years. Good luck with your list. Merry Christmas to your house!
Thank you Pip. Some new legs would be wonderful.
My legs should have been No 1 on my list, but 'seeing-to' Putin would be more beneficial to the world.
To be honest, he hasn't really been too kind to me either. I think it started when I asked for Debby Harry, I haven't trusted him much since.
I like your letter and I'm happy to forego anything for myself if Santa (or God) can grant you those wishes.
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