Monday, 24 October 2022

The West Wing.


We are about to embark on a total restoration project of the West Wing. The work is long overdue, and we have searched-out and engaged a team of specialist workers to complete the task.

The building, although vernacular, is not 'listed' so no complicated permissions were required, nor have we consulted the authorities on the use of classic colours, or choice of materials.

The roof will come off, and a new sympathetic one installed. Regarding the interior, the original surface of the walls will be carefully preserved and restored to the original 1960's splendour if deemed necessary. The delightful 60-year-old patina of the oil-stained floor will of course remain untouched. Any endangered wildlife living within, or on, the building will remain undisturbed.


N.B. Throughout the project, if any 'Just Stop Oil' protesters should glue themselves to anywhere near where work is in progress, they will respectfully be left in situ and covered with a heavy tarpaulin. In their own best interests no Police will be called-in, and their right to peaceful protest will be respected (for up to one month).

28 comments:

Terra said...

This post is so funny, how lovely to restore your mansion's west wing to its original 1960s splendor.

Cro Magnon said...

It will look superb again!

Yael said...

I hope you document the whole process.

Sue G said...

If you're really lucky someome might come and respray the door for you.....

Tigger's Mum said...

😹🙀🤣

Cro Magnon said...

For Brighton museum's records, of course.

Cro Magnon said...

I'd rather they just left a few unopened cans of Heinz Tomato Soup.

Frances said...

You could helpfully offer any protesters more glue in case their's becomes unstuck!

JayCee said...

Have you considered using a 1960s period psychedelic paint theme?

Cro Magnon said...

Yes, we'll leave a generous supply.

Cro Magnon said...

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds on the door?

Travel said...

Uncover any protestors if it starts to rain, they could use the rinse. Looking forward to progress reports.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

The West Wing could be converted into an artist's studio, a seedy massage parlour or a lock-up for illicit goods - such as duty free tobacco and wine from France.

Cro Magnon said...

And a squirt of detergent to help with the wash. Good idea!

Cro Magnon said...

Someone amusingly suggested I use the space to store the Compact Royce. Honestly, some people do have the weirdest ideas!

Salty Pumpkin Studio said...

Oil stain floor, eh, could be a source of immense joy if degreased and painted in a marbled end sheets style.

Cro Magnon said...

The specialist roofing executives have just arrived; Burley Burt, Jim the Jemmy, and Dodgy Dave. My oldest told Lady M that the boss was called Rufus, he wasn't amused.

Tim B. Inman said...

Always good to have a plan in case of eventualities. Historic preservation work has its risks! Cheers

Debby said...

So many go into renovation with no real planning or forethought. You've got a good workable plan here that honors the history of your palace. I hope that your restoration experts work more quickly than, say, the restoration experts who worked on Big Ben.

Cro Magnon said...

They haven't fallen through the roof yet, but there's time.

Cro Magnon said...

They've just come from doing my son's roof, and they are really getting on with it. Very efficient.

Susan said...

It seems you have the "A" team working on your project. Have fun. If the protesters arrive, I'd love to see you give them a piece of your mind.

Cro Magnon said...

No sign of any as yet, but I think the lads would sort them out if they did come.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

A car in a garage? Ha! Ha! Ha! That's ridiculous!

Gemma's person said...

I chuckled through the post and then the comments..you are so sinister. :)

River said...

If their glue holds, just paint over them and make them part of the decor.

Cro Magnon said...

It was all done by 5pm, and no self-gluers. Hooray.

Cro Magnon said...

I had been hoping to use them as a base for my new compost heap, but sadly they stayed away.

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