It has just been announced that a group of over 600 UK Charity shops have recently got together to help the unemployed find work.
They have promised to clothe a job-seeker appropriately, for any interview he or she might attend, for just £10. A laudable initiative.
So, to add my own bit of encouragement to those who are looking for work, I would like to offer these few handy tips for that dreaded interview.
1. Don't chew gum.
2. Don't have tattoos that come either above the collar, or beyond the sleeves.
3. Don't wear a 'hoodie'; go to Oxfam instead, they'll help. On no account wear clothes with Adidas or Nike written all over them.
4. Remember that the verb 'to go', does not mean 'to say'.
5. And try not to litter every sentence with the word 'like'.
6. Have a wash before you go.
7. Don't swear.
8. Don't write predictable clichées all over your CV. None of that 'I'm punctual, hard working, and a team player' type of rubbish; and do use spellcheck.
9. Don't fart.
10. Treat your interviewer with some respect; but not overly so. No arse-licking.
Of course, if you are applying for a job as a professional Football player, or to be on some TV reality show, you can ignore all of the above!
22 comments:
Please don't sniff all through the interview. And there is no need to curtsey.
Don't tell lies on the cv. They will catch up with you later. Mind you once you're in nobody dares sack you so please ignore this advice.
Cro, I think you're living in the 20th Century. I know that I am.
The Japanese 'sniff', I believe that blowing one's nose is seen as rude. We've experienced it.
Apparently well over 50% of CV's contain false academic details. I suppose if you can get away with it; why not. I would have been too honest.
Good. Certain standards failed to span the centuries.
... unless you are applying for the post of administrator in a drugs rehabilitation centre. Then you have to look like you know what you are talking about. Your advice on tattoos is about 30 years out of date. Most of the women who work in my bank are covered in them. Also, the head of Inland Revenue at Stroud in Gloucestershire has long dreadlocks and wears no shoes in the Summer.
You'll have to lend him a pair of your Davy Crocketts. Maybe the un-inked will become a select few; and highly desirable.
I thought you were talking about the unwashed. Things have changed a bit since you left England. I am not sure you could cope with living in Brighton any more.
It's more whether Brighton could cope with me!
I would have added don't swear.
You should dress for the job to which you are applying. My Retired Man who had always had managerial jobs in the tech industry, wore a suit and tie when applying for an even better position in 2001. He got the job and the first day at work, his boss told him to lose the tie. Today, tats are very acceptable in that industry where they are looking for smart, creative people. This is no longer a button down world, except for bankers and salespeople.
As in my No 7?
I'm getting old. The last time I was employed (indoors) was in about 1970. I was teaching in the UK, and things were still quite strict.
Sorry missed it.
Wise advice Cro but doubt that the young will take it.
Most would probably do the opposite.
100 lines; 'I must not miss No 7'.
Brighton would just kill you, put you into a wheelie bin, then forget about you.
You'd have to consult the few who've tried!
What a pity that smartness has departed this world. And don't get me started on tattoos! I once played "stupid" and asked a young man if the scribbles all over his arm "could be washed off?" He then did his best to explain that they were permanent. "Oh dear," I said, "What a shame!"
I would add to your list that when asked how you are, you don't reply "I'm good!" You might be good, but we weren't questioning your morals, but your health, or indeed, "How are you" is now the catch-all phrase where "How do you do?" once was (and the response to that is "how to you do" back, not "Very well thank you, and how are you?")
Margaret P
www.margaretpowling.com
Well said Cro! I have a theory that the human race is rapidly losing intelligence as the years go by,(as Margaret P above hints at)... thankfully some of us are still intelligent enough to realise what a waste of space Xmas, Halloween, Easter etc are.
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