Sunday, 29 March 2015

Vinaigrette.



I normally make my own vinaigrette, but (for reasons of laziness) I always keep a bottle of 'ready made' in the house as well. My current choice being either Maille's Balsamic and Orange, or Passion fruit and Mandarin; both very pleasant.

Many years ago I encountered one of those people that one regrets having said 'hello' to for ever after. He was a very ugly, youngish American from Brooklyn, who viewed everything, everywhere, and everyone (outside of the USA) as being desperately in need of his pedagogical enlightenment; I'm sure you know the type.

He imposed himself on me in that 'how can you possibly live without my advice' kinda way. I couldn't get rid of him. He was also an unashamed liar; something that I really detest.

One day whilst I was preparing a simple salad for lunch, I was offered some of his extra-special New Yorker wisdom....

Him: Hey Cro (you have to imagine that grating acidic Brooklyn accent), you know what we do back in the States.

Me: No, what's that Smartarse?

Him: We make something called a Vinny-Gretty.

Me: Really? Sounds good!

Him: We take Oil and Vinegar, Salt and Pepper, and a little Mustard, mix it up, and pour that over the salad.

Me: Wow, that's amazing. And what's it called again?

Him: VINNY-GRETTY. 

Me: I really must remember that; thank you so much.

Him: You're welcome.

What would I have done without this radical piece of advice! Even though I still follow his essential teaching, I do have that 'ready made' bottle close at hand, just in case I should forget his wonderful All-American recipe.

N.B. My apologies to all other Americans, who probably find this type of fellow citizen as equally obnoxious as I do. Those of his ilk should never be issued with Passports!




24 comments:

  1. I will check out for one of these when I am in Waitrose later. I just finished a very plain vinaigrette the other day so need a new one. He must be the guy you mentioned to me the other day who makes your blood boil thinking about him. I have met a few when I've been travelling, they always seem to be American.

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    1. That's him; hated on many levels. It was you who reminded me about him (unfortunately).

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  2. Actually Cro I know a few Brits like this too, so it isn't limited to US citizens.

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    Replies
    1. This one probably taught those Brits.

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  3. I have a South African friend who told me a similar tale about Brits - He said, "How can you tell when a aeroplane full of British Immigrants arrive?"

    I asked, "How?"

    He said, "You can still hear the whining when the engines are turned off"

    I was gobsmacked by this observation because its common knowledge that when plane loads of Brit immigrants arrive in New Zealand all you can hear is singing.

    The question is why are they singing? I think the reasons are one, or all of the following options.
    They are singing because:
    1 - They are getting a long way away from Britain.
    2 - They are getting a long way away from other Brits.
    3 - They are getting even further away from America and obnoxious Americans.
    4 - They can hardly believe their luck in arriving in NZ - a wonderful attractive country full of wonderful modest people.

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    1. Your modesty becomes you.

      It's true that the last people I really want to meet in France are Brits, although I do have some very good Brit friends. May I suggest that know-all Americans are far worse than know-all Brits (I may be losing followers here).

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    2. I must add that the know-all in question is the only one of his ilk that I've ever encountered.

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    3. As an expat from the US living in CH, I met lots of know-it-alls from the UK & the US. -can't say which group bothered me more.

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  4. Looking forward to seeing how this conversation runs!

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  5. Oh dear. Now I very much regret my modest suggestion regarding the dishwasher. I take it all back with my apology. In fact, I think where it shows up on your floor plan will be just....perfect.

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    Replies
    1. All suggestions were very welcomed; in fact I've taken account of them and changed things a bit. The dishwasher will stay where it is, but the washing machine will be moved.

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  6. There are know-it-alls in every culture and country.

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  7. BTW, most Americans trace their roots back to Europe.

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  8. We Americans all have our faults, I'm afraid -- the more we try to please, it seems, the more trying we become.

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    1. All nationalities are much the same. We all have our good and bad points; no nationality is immune. I probably shouldn't have mentioned that this idiot was an American, but somehow it seemed relevant.

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    2. Mentioning that he was from Brooklyn only added to the tale. I'm thinking specifically reading 'vinny-gretty' in my head and having a chuckle.

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  9. When i read it i thought about some of the people here that i know, they all were born here but the roots are in many other places,

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  10. 'Xenophobia is painless, it brings on many changes' - to change a line slightly from (Whoops) the American TV show 'MASH' LOL

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    1. Not really xenophobia, he could have been from anywhere; it just happened to be Brooklyn!

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  11. Cro, I've met plenty of New Yorkers like that. Some of those people should never leave the Five Boroughs of NYC let alone the country.
    It does seem that no nationality is immune, but some grate on our nerves more than others. In the last year or so, I've met some Europeans living here who give Ugly Americans a run for their money. I bit my tongue, although next time we meet, I may ask them that if they find the US so bloody awful, why don't they leave? Methinks they were jerks in their home country, too.

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  12. I have a friend who always calls that ubiquitous dressing "vinegar-ette." Makes me laugh which is probably why she does it.

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