It is so reassuring to know that we have a government that cares for our health and safety; especially in preparation for nuclear war.
The UK government has now advised all UK citizens to make certain provisions in case of being attacked by Putin (I imagine).
According to the government's 'UK Prepare' website, we should keep five particular things in the boots of our cars, just in case we happen to be driving along to Sainsbury's when the bomb drops! A First Aid Kit, A Fire Extinguisher, A Warning Triangle, A Reflective Vest, and A Tow Rope. This (below) is their official picture.
These five things, we are assured, will protect us from any WW3 attack.
Well, I would like to thank our government for their advice; I feel much safer now.
In case of a nuclear blast here in Brighton I will try to put-out any fire with the extinguisher, offer the wounded a sticking plaster, wear my Hi-Viz jacket just for fun, and erect the warning triangle in case no-one has noticed that we've been attacked. I'm still trying to think of a use for the tow rope.
As well as the above we are also encouraged to keep a good supply of the items below inside our own homes.
Bottled water, tinned foods, torch and batteries, matches, warm clothes, Swiss army knife, radio, passport or ID, money, and a compass and maps. I think I have all of those, as well as the car stuff.
Well, I don't know about you, but if WW3 is declared, and Putin starts throwing Nuclear weapons at us, I shall open my best bottle of Champagne and sit outside until the blast hits me.
A post-Nuclear world wouldn't be worth living in.
29 comments:
Only a socialist could imagine the need for a map and compass at home. Finding a leftie with the capability to comprehend basic navigation is an achievement worth noting.
I suspect it's just another excuse to avoid elections
The only thing the list has to commend itself, is that it doesn't mention brown paper bags or hiding under the dining table.
I seem to recall that in our case it was the school desk we were advised to use. Mind you our school teacher was a pervert, he had little girls sitting on his knee whilst purporting to teach them the piano. I guess hiding under a desk with children was what his dreams were made of.
We missed the brown paper bag bit or maybe I'd nodded off when they were mentioned.
Adrian, do look at my page entitled 'The Cuban War' If you type it into the little white search strip (top left) all will be revealed.
That should read 'The Cuban Crisis'. I'm getting old!
I'm with you on that last paragraph. A couple of bottles of Champagne and a bottle of pills.
If everything was destroyed, and our relaxed way of life challenged, there would be little point being around.
I doubt anyone under the age of 30 can actually read a map or use a compass, and why would you need to go anywhere anyway?
The car list really odd - no spare can of fuel?
Are they real lists or just a joke
I agree with you Cro, I would not want to survive the bombs, we grew up very close to Hinkley Point power station and my mum always said, she would not want to survive is the worse happened. Why keep money, nowhere uses it anymore.
Sitting in the garden would be my plan too. Hadn't thought of the champagne, but why not!
Good to know you'll all be well prepared, but they forgot the toilet paper! You can't have any national (or world-wide) crisis without a good stock of toilet paper. Remember how it ran out everywhere when the Covid lock-down hit?
Coppa's Girl
I think they must have asked a group of Primary School children for their advice. If I was writing these lists, they would be VERY different.
Well, it wouldn't be Lucozade or Vimto. I'd like to go out with a 'POP'.
They missed most of the essentials. Something to repel looters would be high on my list.
Thanks for another laugh to start the day.
A map and a compass? To go where? Maybe to see what's left in the nearest food store
The stuff for the car is more of less what most people have anyway. Well we have the first aid kit and a rope. Not much use for a bomb attack.
Yes, a supply of good alcohol sounds about right. Make those last hours bearable and maybe a peace offering to the troops
Someone was, no doubt, well paid for coming-up with those lists. No wonder we're in the poo!
" A First Aid Kit, A Fire Extinguisher, A Warning Triangle, A Reflective Vest, and A Tow Rope."
All of which are compulsory in France anyway, so they are already in your Micro-Roller!!
And the tow rope is for use with the nearest tree.........
Thanks for the "heads up" as they say. I have already stocked a secret cave in The Peak District. Wife and I should be able to survive there for over year. Plenty of bully beef, baked beans and toilet paper. I also plan to read "War and Peace".
But Cro, you'll have kept your "What to do in case of Nuclear Attack" from the late 1960s haven't you... so building an indoor shelter is covered in that... just take a screwdriver to the door hinges!!
Yes, I don't need to be told what most of already have.
An essential book would also be 'Russian for Beginners', then you would be able to read War and Peace in its original language, whilst welcoming the invaders.
We are being dragged to our demise in my opinion - I cannot understand why it has been allowed to escalate - No one is stopping it - I really am scared - flis x
The world is run by just a very few nutters. I cannot understand what drives them, other than wanting to be part of 'History'.
It will be trump not putin who starts the war.His big mouth full of lies will be the end. And it will be too late to take it back or to say he was just joking he has no sense of humour.. He IS the joke.
It will be time to enjoy that bottle of really-really old bourbon.
Tru*p certainly has 'expansionist' ideas, but whether or not he would be prepared to FIGHT for it is another question. We already know that Putin is!
Here it would be a bottle of Single Malt Whiskey. But much the same idea.
I will be ready. All set up with a mattress, food, and a cooker. I just hope the bomb does not fall directly on me.
The list is an AI generated joke. Isn't it.
There is enough madness in the world.
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