Thursday, 12 November 2015

An Ode to Man-Flu.


                                               Afficher l'image d'origine

Sneeze, splutter, cough, pills,

aching muscles, shivering chills.

Tablets, potions, aching bones,

panaceas, rugs, and desperate moans.

Bed, and books, and tissue packs,

snot, and phlegm, and coughing hacks.

Soup, and toast, and calves-foot jelly,

Radio four; vapour rub smelly.


© Cro Magnon, 2015.




34 comments:

libby said...

Loved this! you're quite the poet.....feel better.

New World said...

Got a cold have you? Beware Lady M might come in with the Pill bottle and administer as above. Calves-foot jelly and vapour rub smelly reminds me of Greyfriars School sanitorium.

Cro Magnon said...

No I haven't got a cold; maybe I should have kept it until I did.

Cro Magnon said...

Goose fat for me; it's traditional hereabouts.

Anonymous said...

Simple but effective. Like it!

Coppa's girl said...

Atishoo !! You had us fooled there Cro! Where's the Friar's Balsam?

Cro Magnon said...

Simple; I am. Effective; not so sure.

Cro Magnon said...

Lady Magnon has had Woman Flu for the last week or so; she's desperate to pass it on to me, but I'm not having it.

Le Pré de la Forge said...

Love the bottle of pills...
And your very good, concise pome!

Another cure for man flu...
Double Advocaat with a Wood's 100 black rum stirred in....
looks a bit brown and murky like all good medicines....
take this with a couple of asprin [soluble]...
let them "melt in the mouth" first...
three extra duvets on the bed, two hot water bottles in it...
after the asprin, down the rum/advocaat mix and straight into bed.
You have to wring the sheets out the following morning... but it works!

Frances said...

Superb poem. Hope you don't catch Lady M's flu!

Yael said...

I never heard before about the man flu, i knew it ecxist because i saw some men having the flu here, and i always thught that it is totaly different from ours...

The Weaver of Grass said...

Do I take it you have it and are indulging in all these remedies??

Cro Magnon said...

Good lord, no birch twigs after midnight?

Cro Magnon said...

I try not to, but she does like to cough in my direction.

Cro Magnon said...

Men suffer much more than women; it's genetic.

Cro Magnon said...

No, I don't, Weave. I was thinking of Tom Stephenson.

Le Pré de la Forge said...

Never found them necessary!!
Besides, they would make the bed very uncomfortable...

nick said...

Glad to say I haven't had flu for many years. Having the annual flu jab probably helps. I seem to remember it's a pretty horrible experience. Do men complain more than women? I couldn't say, but personally I just take mega-doses of vitamin C and soldier on stoically.

Anonymous said...

Hope the Lady gets well soon and you manage to avoid the dreaded 'flu'.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

This reminds me to get my flu shot sooner than later.

Cro Magnon said...

I think I've only had pukka Flu once in my life, and it was nasty. Best advice is to keep well away from anyone who seems to be suffering.

Cro Magnon said...

She's not too bad now; coughing a bit.

Cro Magnon said...

I had one last year, not sure if I will this year.

Helsie said...

We've had a very nasty strain of flu here this year. "Brisbane flu" , specially named for us. All advice is to get a flu shot. It comes on very quickly and can be fatal within 24 hours. ( hope Mrs Cro is better soon )

Cro Magnon said...

FATAL??? That sounds worse than nasty. Maybe I'll get my jab after all.

donna baker said...

What do you do with goose fat? Never heard of it.

donna baker said...

I've never had a flu shot (part of the herd effect my husband says), but it is supposedly the most harmful to the very young and us older ones. I think of getting one every year, but never do.

New World said...

Cook with it.

Mac n' Janet said...

Hope you're feeling better soon, I'm a terrible patient and an even worse nurse.

Frances said...

The photo is funny, and your poem does capture what flu's all about. Not funny. Hoping Lady Magnon is completely well very soon.

I don't always get flu shots, but did get one last month. The other arm got a tetanus update. My right arm was quite sore afterwards, but I truly can't remember which shot went right and which one went left. Glad I'm left handed.

Best wishes.

Cro Magnon said...

I'm still thinking about it.

Cro Magnon said...

It's not me that's ill; it's Lady Magnon. She's on the mend.

Cro Magnon said...

And then rub it on your chest.

Cro Magnon said...

Hi Frances. Poor old Lady M, she's tucked up by the fire, asking for tea.

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