Sneeze, splutter, cough, pills,
aching muscles, shivering chills.
Tablets, potions, aching bones,
panaceas, rugs, and desperate moans.
Bed, and books, and tissue packs,
snot, and phlegm, and coughing hacks.
Soup, and toast, and calves-foot jelly,
Radio four; vapour rub smelly.
© Cro Magnon, 2015.
Loved this! you're quite the poet.....feel better.
ReplyDeleteNo I haven't got a cold; maybe I should have kept it until I did.
DeleteGot a cold have you? Beware Lady M might come in with the Pill bottle and administer as above. Calves-foot jelly and vapour rub smelly reminds me of Greyfriars School sanitorium.
ReplyDeleteGoose fat for me; it's traditional hereabouts.
DeleteWhat do you do with goose fat? Never heard of it.
DeleteCook with it.
DeleteAnd then rub it on your chest.
DeleteSimple but effective. Like it!
ReplyDeleteSimple; I am. Effective; not so sure.
DeleteAtishoo !! You had us fooled there Cro! Where's the Friar's Balsam?
ReplyDeleteLady Magnon has had Woman Flu for the last week or so; she's desperate to pass it on to me, but I'm not having it.
DeleteLove the bottle of pills...
ReplyDeleteAnd your very good, concise pome!
Another cure for man flu...
Double Advocaat with a Wood's 100 black rum stirred in....
looks a bit brown and murky like all good medicines....
take this with a couple of asprin [soluble]...
let them "melt in the mouth" first...
three extra duvets on the bed, two hot water bottles in it...
after the asprin, down the rum/advocaat mix and straight into bed.
You have to wring the sheets out the following morning... but it works!
Good lord, no birch twigs after midnight?
DeleteNever found them necessary!!
DeleteBesides, they would make the bed very uncomfortable...
Superb poem. Hope you don't catch Lady M's flu!
ReplyDeleteI try not to, but she does like to cough in my direction.
DeleteI never heard before about the man flu, i knew it ecxist because i saw some men having the flu here, and i always thught that it is totaly different from ours...
ReplyDeleteMen suffer much more than women; it's genetic.
DeleteDo I take it you have it and are indulging in all these remedies??
ReplyDeleteNo, I don't, Weave. I was thinking of Tom Stephenson.
DeleteGlad to say I haven't had flu for many years. Having the annual flu jab probably helps. I seem to remember it's a pretty horrible experience. Do men complain more than women? I couldn't say, but personally I just take mega-doses of vitamin C and soldier on stoically.
ReplyDeleteI think I've only had pukka Flu once in my life, and it was nasty. Best advice is to keep well away from anyone who seems to be suffering.
DeleteHope the Lady gets well soon and you manage to avoid the dreaded 'flu'.
ReplyDeleteShe's not too bad now; coughing a bit.
DeleteThis reminds me to get my flu shot sooner than later.
ReplyDeleteI had one last year, not sure if I will this year.
DeleteWe've had a very nasty strain of flu here this year. "Brisbane flu" , specially named for us. All advice is to get a flu shot. It comes on very quickly and can be fatal within 24 hours. ( hope Mrs Cro is better soon )
ReplyDeleteFATAL??? That sounds worse than nasty. Maybe I'll get my jab after all.
DeleteI've never had a flu shot (part of the herd effect my husband says), but it is supposedly the most harmful to the very young and us older ones. I think of getting one every year, but never do.
ReplyDeleteI'm still thinking about it.
DeleteHope you're feeling better soon, I'm a terrible patient and an even worse nurse.
ReplyDeleteIt's not me that's ill; it's Lady Magnon. She's on the mend.
DeleteThe photo is funny, and your poem does capture what flu's all about. Not funny. Hoping Lady Magnon is completely well very soon.
ReplyDeleteI don't always get flu shots, but did get one last month. The other arm got a tetanus update. My right arm was quite sore afterwards, but I truly can't remember which shot went right and which one went left. Glad I'm left handed.
Best wishes.
Hi Frances. Poor old Lady M, she's tucked up by the fire, asking for tea.
Delete