When my people retired, they decided to leave their lovely thatched Sussex home, and move up to Shropshire, where my mother had family.
I loved their Sussex home in the beautiful village of West Chiltington, but they'd made their decision, and that was that. Father was from Sussex; mother from Shropshire. Mother won!
This (above) is where they moved. A Victorian house in a small village, not too far from Shrewsbury. It was about twice the size that it appears to be in the photo, with a coach house, other buildings, a greenhouse, a fabulous ancient 44 tree orchard, and good-sized gardens. The village had a pub', a church, a shop, and a garage. The nearest good shopping town of Ellesmere was about 4 miles away.
Mother became ill almost as soon as they'd moved, and I was summoned to help-out. I ended-up spending about four years looking after them. Sadly mother soon died, and I was left looking after father who was by that time a wheelchair-bound double amputee. For someone with no experience of such things, I found it all quite 'challenging'.
However, I quite enjoyed village life, and soon took over the running of the Youth Club, as well as re-introducing the annual village Horticultural Show. I also managed to raise enough 'charity' money to send 8 members of the Youth Club on an adventure holiday to the Bavarian Alps in Germany, which was a huge success. I did my bit.
It wasn't long before father also died, and I moved back to Sussex in 1985. My new home in Brighton could not have been more different. Newhaven, and the ferry to France, was just 20 minutes away, and we soon re-established our two location life. In France 100% bucolic, and in Brighton 100% urban.
These days we live that same two location life. Since Brexit our French stay is limited by Brussels, but the pleasure is still much the same. Brighton makes a great contrast to the peace and quiet of the French countryside, and offers just about everything one could ever imagine, or hope for.
I do still wonder if my people made the right decision about moving to Shropshire. Their home in Sussex was really lovely, and in many ways was the perfect retirement home; all that hassle of moving could have been avoided. It might even have prolonged their lives a bit.
Even so, Shropshire was very beautiful.
A lovely house, but maybe a bit much to care for and a bit isolated. Lucky they had you to help out.
ReplyDeleteThey did have a cleaner who came twice a week, but that was all. Luckily in those days I could phone their doctor, and he'd be at the house within 15 mins.
DeleteDo you have a choice? France maybe not an option for you after Brexit. Besides you are fortunate to have your lovely son nearby in Brighton. I think your parents move was probably not a good idea . I have respect for you caring for them in their last years. Being a carer is a hard task.
ReplyDeleteI do think they'd have been happier staying where they were, but mother wanted to be nearer to her remaining family. Yes, looking after ageing parents isn't much fun.
DeleteAn interesting decision to make. Nice that you have a choice. Go where your heart tells you to go. My retirement home, I suppose you could call it that, is exactly the same type of house I grew up in. My parents were Council house tenants, and I bought this ex Council house. I might as well stay here. But if I had a choice and the funds were available, I would live in the Yorkshire Dales, or further north.
ReplyDeleteBeing a southern boy, I would stay south; although (pre-Brexit) I had imagined that I'd end my days here in France. It's a good thing that we don't all want to live in the same place, although places like Eastbourne are a magnet to oldies, where it's known as 'God's Waiting Room'.
DeleteWe've been looking at the South Coast for retirement, also Norfolk, where we have family. West Wales is very beautiful, but very wet, and I would like some nicer weather somewhere!
ReplyDeleteI think Worthing would be on my list. We used to live nearby and I know the town well. It is flat (unlike Brighton), has all the shops you need, has a good theatre, a very long seaside promenade, plenty of facilities, and is slowly becoming 'younger' and more vibrant. Don't go to Goring; it is back to back OAP's living in identical bungalows. Stay where things are lively.
DeleteWe would move to the village I grew up, in Somerset to be with my siblings, but sadly both my daughters live locally here, and I don't want to move away from them.
ReplyDeleteAnother dilemma. It sounds like you'll have to toss a coin.
DeleteBy far the easiest way to retire is to stay where you are. You have friends and maybe family. You are familiar with your surrounds, know where to buy the best bargains and drink the best beer, how far the hospital is.
ReplyDeleteMy parents retired to the beach but after 5 years they were back in town and much happier. Half the garden and within walking distance of a newspaper and a pint of milk
I have a feeling that my people would have been happier where they were. I could have moved back there. The house was big enough and there was room for a studio. I think life would have been better for them.
DeleteLots of people want to retire to the countryside but, as Linda says, town is far more practical as you age. Just pick the right town.
ReplyDeleteThat's right. The worst thing would be to move miles away from everything.
DeleteThank you for explaining the Shropshire connection. I knew about your family links with Shropshire but didn't quite understand what had happened. Clearly your mother had Shropshire in her heart but the truth is that some things don't last forever and she could never get back the remembered happiness of her childhood. I expect that your idea that staying in Sussex might have prolonged their lives is accurate.
ReplyDeleteI think so, although they had no family in Sussex any more. Too late now.
DeleteThe village they moved to sounds idyllic.
ReplyDeleteIn may ways it was. I made some very good friends there too.
DeleteHind sight is always clearer with ALL the facts. It is hard to determine the future without all you will be finding out that will then be facts.
ReplyDeleteMost times things happen for a reason, even if we don't see it at the time. love.
I also respect you for taking care of your parents.
DeleteMy mother was an optimist, she always said that 'things happen for the better'. I'm not sure she was always right.
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