We needed a new phone. All we wanted was to replace our present one so that it could cope with those anonymous machines in Mumbai that ask you to press (select) buttons one, two, or three. Our present phone refuses to do that.
So, rather than listen to logic, Lady M selected something that she thought looked OK, was not too expensive, and came in a nice small neat orange box.
I can't even describe how depressed I was when I opened the bloody box. Bits everywhere, loads of wires that our previous phone didn't seem to need, and an instruction leaflet written in some ancient version of Sanskrit.
The handsets themselves have so many bloody buttons, widgets, and screen instructions, that it'll be months before I'll learn how to actually use it. On top of which there are different buttons for slow wash, defrost, PrtSc SysRq, and 'I'm deaf can you effing speak up'.
Why can't we have phones that are just bloody phones?
Pick up handset, dial, check you have the right person, have meaningless conversation, put down handset; that's all I friggin want.
I shall now go and see if I can put all those wretched bits together, find 2 spare electrical sockets, and one more phone socket. Some bloody hope!
If you hear screams....
Brilliant. Let us just pray that sometime next week when all is assembled you don't suffer a power surge and wreck the stupid things.
ReplyDeletePS. You also have to remember where you left the handset. I lost one for ages. It was in the freezer. I must have left it there when I finished the call.
I can see you have a lot in common with Lady Magnon!
DeleteI know how you feel. For work I need phones that we can insert a headset. Went to FT to check out what was available and they try to sell you the top of the range, but the only one that worked was one of the cheapest and it is a proper phone, not a wireless
ReplyDeletelooks a bit like the Panasonic we replaced our old phone with. Managed to connect all the right wires to all the right sockets, but after 2 years I still don't know what 90% of the buttons do.
ReplyDeleteAnd mobiles are even worse.
I am coming out in a hot sweat just looking at the pictures. When I moved house recently BT sent me a similar looking outfit; the phone gets knocked off its stand (that's if you put it back last time you used it) and then doesn't charge and then you wonder why you don't get any calls and you cant find the phone because it has fallen under the table. And then it wont work in a power cut. I recommend you buy a proper phone before you get too demented with this one.
ReplyDeleteBlimey, you weren't kidding!
ReplyDeleteSend and receive calls, that's all I ask of a phone. Same with cars, if they go and stop when I want them to, I am happy. I would be quite content with a 2CV or R4 here; cheap as chips, easy to maintain and soak up all the bumps. Used to be if you had basic mechanical skills, you could maintain or fix anything. Now you need to be a computer programmer.
ReplyDeleteI've had both a 2CV and an R4. Both were fixable with a hammer, a length of wire, or some WD40.
DeleteWe have been waiting a month for our land line to be fixed after the lightning.
ReplyDeleteThe first mobile phones had finger buttons for adults unlike the one's today which seem to be people with small hands and fingers.
Years ago we thought putting kids toys together was frustrating. Now everything is.
ReplyDeleteAh technology.... the answer to all our woes? I think not. and a telephone for calling people? such very quaint idea my man.
ReplyDeleteWe kept our old rotary phone up until maybe five years ago and than had to give in and get a touchtone phone. I still sometimes just hold the line until a real person comes on as opposed to the 'press this/press that' monologue. Your new phone looks a little bit like ours...does it have a built in answering machine? I found out, much to my joy, that you CAN turn that part off. That way I don't have to fib and say "oh, the answering machine must be broken" when I don't return calls.
ReplyDeleteIt has just about everything Delores. Whatever their nerds could think of; they added!
DeleteCro - I have this phone and felt the same when I opened the box. However.....now I'm used to it and can blinker myself to the redundant features, I quite like it. There's hope....hang on and perhaps some strategic pieces of masking tape?
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. We had a good old phone, but our daughter gave us a new set that resembles your picture and it took forever to figure it out.
ReplyDeleteHate phones, always tell people to email me if they want me to get the message.
I have solved that problem, I just have one of the grandchildren put ours together. They don't even read the instructions and the damn thing works great. Suck it up man and give Harvey J a call.
ReplyDeleteI did seriously consider that, but he won't be here before summer!
DeleteI do so sympathize, Cro. When we had the phone installed in our French home, we bought the cheapest one on offer and that has worked quite well, except for one thing. The handset is wonky and keeps getting knocked out of position. So over the years I have looked for a replacement. All the phones on offer or more expensive than we want and seem to have all these bells and whistles we don't want and won't use. So the cheap, but easy to use model, remains in place! Have fun!
ReplyDeleteGood luck
ReplyDeleteHi Cro,
ReplyDeleteif you had an old rotary phone, and don't have mobile phone reception, please don't get rid of it. My parents street lost power over Christmas and no one could contact the electricity board as they all had new phones like this. OH found it in the cupboard and rang them from it to find out what was going on. no one else could as no reception and no juice for the land lines.
A very good point; thanks.
DeleteWhen we moved home some years ago we stupidly left behind a lovely old black bakelite telephone....my husband thought it was old fashioned and ugly - he likes gadgets...so now we have a phone similar to yours and I hate it.
ReplyDeleteIt would be nice to go back to dial phones for basic usage. I liked them. They had character. I feel for you having to put all those bits together.
ReplyDeleteI want my old rotary dial phone back. Good luck with that mess of bits and bolts.
ReplyDelete...and then the bloody freaking batteries will die and you have to buy a new one......
ReplyDeleteA few years ago I had an old Bakelite phone in my study. It had a lovely old fashioned bell ring to it. I came unstuck when I was asked to 'press 1 for...' as the computer at the other end didn't recognise a dial.
ReplyDeleteAs a female with dainty fingers and long nails I can use modern buttons quite easily. I can't imagine how men cope with the minute buttons on mobiles etc.
I have phones similar to your new ones and also have a rotary dial phone just in case of an outage. The cordless are great if you are walking about, and mine has a button you can press on the base if you can't remember where you've left the handset. The handset will chirp or make some weird noise trying to tell you where it is. I made good use of that feature about two weeks ago.
ReplyDeleteLooks like our phones, one of which has already ceased to ring or make any other necessary noises. Bonne chance, mon ami!
ReplyDelete