Dear Santa,
I can't claim to have been a good boy this year. I've said nasty things, had lots of evil thoughts, and I've cast spells on certain of my French neighbours.
I really don't know why I bother writing to you each year. As usual, you totally ignored my wishes last year, and I presume you will do so again this year.
Anyway, if you change your ways and are prepared to give me what I ask for, I had thought of asking you for a Thistle Shaped Whiskey glass, but I've just found one. Instead I would really like two new legs, two new hips, a new right knee, and a decent painless lower back. I'm sure I asked for the same things last year but because you chose to ignore me they've all got worse.
Please send tummy-tickles and a few carrots to the Reindeer, and if my wishes are granted I shall leave a glass of single malt whisky (in an ordinary tumbler), and a mince pie by the fireside on Boxing Day night (not before!).
Many thanks. Cro xx
23 comments:
I hope Santa will listen to you this time. you deserve it. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Thank you Yael. And may you experience the peace you desire as soon as possible. I feel it may be near!
Don't forget to add...a longer night's sleep. The whiskey may help with that tho. Merry Christmas to you .Have a happy time with your family. xx
Your requests sound pretty reasonable to me. It's not much to ask for is it! Happy Christmas anyway x
Santa would not have time to deliver presents if he had to fix all the aching joints in the world! Hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your family.
Santa will put your name on the list for your requests. There are probably a few million ahead of you needing the same things, so you may need to remind him next year!
Thanks Caz. A good night's sleep would be wonderful.
It's the least he could do for me, considering how faithful I've been over the decades.
Don't be so pessimistic; It's only mine I want fixed. He can do the others later.
And it doesn't help having all the Junior 'Santas' on strike.
Dear Crozier,
Christmas is for children so eff off you greedy old sod! You will get bugger all from me.
Love,
Santa
I've got Mrs Claus tied-up in the cellar, so he'd better bring me something; or else.
Good health is what it's all about. If you've got that you can do anything. Hope Santa takes note.
And if he doesn't come through, you will enjoy the pie and dram.
Yes, me too. I'm not too bad, but there's room for improvement.
It's a win/win situation.
Slàinte Mhàth...it's what we all really wish for. (and the response is Slàinte Mhòr by the way 🙂)
I'm no linguist, but I'm sure that's what we wish for everyone.
Dear Mr. Cro,
We all have those problems, take two Ibuprofen and write me next year.
Yours once again,
Santa Baby
Consider seeing a Homeopath or Chiropractor. I have friends that rely on them for the types of issues you describe. Nothing ventured, nothing lost.
I might try THREE Ibuprofens, I tried two before and it didn't work.
I really don't fancy the idea, but thank you for the suggestion.
Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas Cro!
Post a Comment