We occasionally idly talk of over-wintering in Blighty again some time in the future. When my arms can no longer start the chainsaw, or carry heavy logs, then we might consider the idea more seriously.
In the meantime, I thought I'd better brush-up on my English. It seems to be a very different language to when I last set foot on Albion's green and pleasant.
For example, I must remember to start every sentence with 'I mean', or 'like', and to spread as many extra 'like's' between words as possible.
I must also remember that the verb 'to say' has now officially been replaced by 'to go'; this oddity will take some getting used-to.
Example: Old Fashioned English. "Somebody recently asked me if I'd seen his lost dog, I replied no, but I was sure that I'd seen it earlier in the day'.
Modern English. " I mean, like, he goes 'anyone seen my Pit Bull?'. I goes, 'no, but, I 'erd, like, that it'd bitten some, like, geezer, I mean, like, yeah'.
I think I'm getting there, just a few more months of practicing and, like, I'll be word perfect, innit. (did you notice my cheeky use of that other essential word 'innit'; I'm making progress).
p.s. USA readers should be aware that whereas in the UK they use the additional word 'like', it becomes 'like man' on their side of the pond.
51 comments:
Yes. We no longer 'say' something, we 'go'something.
'He goes, I want to buy that car.' He in fact hasn't gone anywhere, not even to look at the car he wants to buy.
I think all this going is leading to a change in language as we know it.
Alphie
Where the hell did this use of 'go' come from? I'm now hearing it said (gone) all over the place.
And don't forget, Cro.... you must end every sentence by raising the pitch of your voice.... thereby turning every simple statement into a question!!
As good a reason not to visit middle England.
Yes, very strange, a whole new vocabulary.
You'll also need to brush up on texting skills, it's the modern way to communicate and has a totally different vocabulary only understood by young people and usually totally incomprehensible by the more mature.
I have just bought my grandchildren copies of a very lovely book, The Lost Words. Evidently the Junior Oxford dictionary has dropped several nature words such as bramble,raven, otter, conker to be replaced with words associated with computers and technology. Children are just not into Nature any more and Nature words are becoming redundant. The book is glorious and will hopefully give pleasure and education to Kitty, Rufus. Bodhi and yet to be born new grandson. A recent survey with primary school children revealed that they recognised Pokemon characters before wild birds,trees, animals. Isn't it all just too, too sad?
You will also have to learn at least 20 of the different ways of using the word fuck in your sentences, and the different tones in saying it for different meanings. You will soon be able to pick this up by merely adjusting your listening for a short while to homing in on other peoples conversations as you go about your new daily life, and the young are of course leading the way so be sure and home in on them.
God, I hate that!
You're right. My visit has been put off for a few more years.
I've opted out of text-speak. No smart phone!
Change is normal, but I don't see this as natural evolution in language. It seems to be being forced upon children, and if they don't follow the line, they're made to feel like outcasts.
At school, swearing was de rigeur; so I'm possibly up to date in that department.
I shall have to make sure Rick doesn't pick up any bad habits, like, while he's in England. Innit.
He might adopt a Somerset twang!
I doubt it actually, it has moved on quite a lot.
I wrote a post on the uplift at the end of sentences, widely done by rural people in Australia, and more women than men. At least my personal exposure to English is Geordie, and there was never any pretence that it was even vaguely English. Aye is the most wonderful word that can be said without any obvious facial muscle movement at all. But even Geordie is homogenising. We were in a Lancashire pub and I tried to order our meal, and the young lad was unintelligible. I sent my English born partner to do the deed, and he couldn't understand the lad either.
Here is the same with Hebrew, every second word is "like".((" I went to school like,and the teacher like was not there").
Something else which has probably developed in your absence (beginning when the last generation were able to speak) is the upward tilt on the last word of every sentence, as if every sentence is a question. Scholars think that this originated after 'Neighbours' came over from Australia, so you can blame Kylie Minogue.
Never mind the language, Blighty is awful chill and damp...better get someone to deal with the logs before thinking of moving
I love the UK and couldn’t live anywhere else ...... iI’m sure that language has changed all over the world but we can still keep our impeccable standards up ...... at least we still have butter !!!!! Haha !!!!! XXXX
You will also need a set of large headphones for outdoor wear.
Geordie can be very difficult as can be Liverpudlian. Once one heads north of the border into Scotland, it is simply guesswork what they are saying.
Horrible, isn't it. And it means nothing; better to simply leave it out.
Yes, I feel as if I have to leave, when someone starts talking like that; even on TV. I can't stand it, it makes me cringe!
We have push button heat in our UK home (as does everyone). I suppose it has its plus points.
Actually Jacqueline, we have more butter in our fridge now than we've ever had. Every time I see some (at no matter what price) I buy it. I bought a Kilo of 'demi-sel' this morning.
You now have your very own butter mountain !!! XXXX
It's us that's now causing the shortage!
Yes, I've noticed that they're very a la mode.
Oh my gosh (or OMG), Valley Girl language has made it to the UK! I guess this is part of globalization. That is really gnarly, dude.
The UK's version comes partly from Jamaica, and partly up the Thames estuary. For some bizarre reason, kids find it cool to speak as such.
It sounds as if you have succumbed to American idiom. Are you reading the correct book?
I'm living in a topsy-turvy world of 'bad-speak', and I'm not happy.
When you learn of the new way of speaking just make sure that you end every sentence with the word soooooo.. and let any remaining thought dangle in the air, free to blow around in the breeze.
You will also have to get some pants that have large holes at the knees. You may already have some work pants like that, but at least you did not pay $250 for them
Iris, we British do not wear pants, except as underwear. I believe you are referring to trousers, or more particularly, jeans with ripped knees..
Sorry Cro, but apparently, you have to start each sentence with 'So...'. It drives me insane. Even so-called experts are using it now, although they look like teenagers, but that's just my age I suppose.
Cringe?
Yup, that's the one!
Cro, it looks as if I times tonight brief blog re-entry just in the nick of time. Please do feel free to email me if you have doubts/inquiries about American use of English. Just don't think for a minute that the current President uses English well.
Ahh, but he is still President, isn't he?
I keep thinking of you when I am preparing certain "in my mind only" recipes, or shopping at the farmers market. Best wishes to you and yours. Wishing I could find more time for a proper catch up.
Starting sentences with So, and Right, are to give the impression that you know what you're talking about; or to conclude. 'So, to conclude' being the best example.
Chump uses a very odd form of language; very confused and repetitive. Reading his words is even more bizarre than listening.
I had a Canadian friend who was always referring to his 'vest', which was actually his jacket.
(so) Hopefully by the time you go back, the language will have swung back ?
I ended with an upward lilt ...... like the sentence never ends.
cheers, parsnip
You missed the worst use of like - as a substitute for 'said' eg
I was like, 'yeah'
I don't even understand how this came to be?
ps. Sorry, but can't help but point out a typo :
practicing
should be
practising
Sorry!
Oh, oh. pratising? That's English.:)
What I have read is that the use of "like" or "I went" or "I go," instead of "I said" came from some despicable "Valley Girl" talk from the Silicon Valley in CA. I think it was a movie, too, of course. Everything is for sale here in the US and becomes entertainment, even bad grammar. But...this isn't even grammar. I HATE it when any of my kids uses that awful talk, too, and sometimes I even dare to ask them to PLEASE not use that kind of creepy talk. I was very happy to see this post because you have verified that I am RIGHT, right? Like, I couldn't be more right, like, I am like right.
Yes, I really cannot find the words to say how awful that is. I keep thinking where can I go to escape this caca. I only have one grandchild, a boy now one year old. What does the future hold for him? His Grandpa and I live in the country and will do all we can to show him nature every chance we get. I think most children are naturally very intrigued by it and that should help. Hoping and worrying.....I am gong to google that book right now!
Oh my gosh, NO! Not Hebrew. All is lost. I am not being facetious, I really don't like that. Sad.
The change in language you depict reads like the way we used to speak here in coastal California the early 80s. When I say 'we' I mean me and my teenaged friends.
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