I never really thought I'd grow old. I'd imagined that (if I made it past my 50's) I'd become a type of Ian Carmichael character, wearing shaggy three-piece tweed suits, and sporting a monocle. I would drive an Armstrong Sidley, and live in a small, but pretty, mews house in S Ken.
But life has a way of slapping you in the face and saying "Stop daydreaming you fool", and in fact you become a doddery old codger who walks with a cane, forgets where he puts things, and becomes even more reclusive than his most reclusive earlier reclusiveness.
My pleasures are now few. I still love eating and drinking; who doesn't. I do actually enjoy popping off in the car to spend 30 mins wandering the Deli dep't of a distant Waitrose. I love heading off for France. And, I'm not quite sure why, but I still enjoy writing this daily blog.
However, the things I really DON'T enjoy far outweigh the one's I do. I really hate having to take pills every day. I hate it when my doctor tells me I have to go in for a blood test and have my feet pricked with pins (yesterday). I hate feeling tired when I haven't done enough to warrant it. And I hate the constant cultural assassination of my native country by those who are still wet behind the ears.
I have become 'Belligerent of Brighton' or 'Furious of France'. My numerous un-published letters to The Times are mostly critical of people like Corbyn, or puerile-thinking young woke adolescents who think they know more than their wiser and betters.
This morning I shall make my way (slowly) down to M & S where I shall join forces with other 'wrinklies', dreaming of buying a huge joint of Sirloin Beef for the weekend, then leave with a small pack of 'on special offer' smoked Bacon, a bag of Oranges, and possibly a couple of soft bread rolls. It's a 15 min walk there and back, that will hopefully oil my rusting hips, and appease my ravenous appetite for a few days.
Growing old is not to be advised. Mostly it reminds you of all those things you didn't do when you were younger, all the places you'd put-off visiting, and all the things you wish you'd said to people who are no longer around.
These days when I look in the mirror I see someone I hardly recognise, and I don't particularly like him. I expect to see a middle-aged Adonis, but all I see is a grey-haired doddery confused old codger.
I suppose what is most annoying is actually having to admit we are now old. Your mind still thinks you are 25yrs old , but your body tells you different. I am waiting for a scan now.All my tests came back negative, which is good. Frustrating though while I'm still in pain. I am about the same age as you.Just glad my fingers are still able to knit..Although I have macular degeneration so probably won't be able to read my patterns soon. Make the most of what you have. I wish I could drive.I'd be tootling off around some of the pretty countryside where you live. Take care and remember to take your stick.
ReplyDeleteI went for a blood test recently, and they couldn't find any. I have to go back again next week, and have been told to drink LOTS of water.
DeleteI hope I live long enough to get OLD but not for a while.
ReplyDeleteI used to think that last year!
DeletePerhaps you should keep the company of younger folks more often, not just family? And get back more to drawing and painting?
ReplyDeleteYou can't just sit back and be a Victor Meldrew character.."I can't believe it!" 😉🧐🙂
I'm rather looking forward to being in France again where I am always outdoors, and there is always lots to do.
DeleteJust so...being too active to think about being old!!
DeleteWait till you get to my father's age (mid Eighties). You will be unbearable. Well, he is. In contrast, my grandfather who lived till 86 was loving, happy and cheerful till right to the end. I love that man, not least because he shaped my idea of what a man is, or can be, during the first few years of my life (my grandparents brought me up).
ReplyDeleteI wish I could extend some words of comfort to you. There aren't any. Have long come to conclusion that you are either made "devil may care" cheerful or mournful. Age just seems to deepen that what was there all along.
And do spare a thought for Lady M. She has to live with you. I can't tell you how sorry I feel for my own mother having to face the loins that brought me forward - breakfast, lunch, coffee and cake, dinner. Even committing murder carries fewer years' punishment.
U
I was definitely made 'devil may care', and I'm still living that life.
DeleteYou're just reinforcing what I don't want to think about. At least your mind is still sharp.
ReplyDeleteAt Easter we played a quiz game with the kids. The dream team, me and the grandsons usually win easily. For the first time the answers wouldn't come even though I knew I knew them. Name 10 cities in Europe beginning with A. Athens and Amsterdam and my mind stopped.
I'm googling ways to improve memory now.
I kid myself that I keep my mind alert by completing about 4 crosswords each day. I'll think about the European cities later.
Deleteaachen, antwerp,aberdeen,
Deletewell, we've got five now
Amsterdam, Amiens, Athens,
DeleteAugsburg,ardhuis, I think as a team we've done it
DeleteI'm enjoying getting old so far. I sometimes htink about what could have been, but mostly think about what is and what's coming. Wrinkles and slowing down, but also visits from grandchildren and going out to see the 10 months old twins, time to do whatever I please instead of hurrying to and from work. Naps in the afternoons. Toasted cheese sandwiches if I don't feel like cooking. Ignoring the politics and doing crosswords all day. Life is pretty good from my perspective.
ReplyDeleteI was enjoying my age until my legs became tired. Most of the things I enjoy involve walking around, and that has become a bit limited; although not entirely.
DeleteCro, here is another thought. The shame of it.
ReplyDeleteThe Apple of my Eye takes me for the occasional meander through the New Forest. Naturally, as one does, I bring a picnic. Enter the rug. Sitting down is easy. Getting up? Let's just say nothing that a son's strong pull can't rectify.
U
My getting up from a chair or sofa is now accompanied by a couple of audible groans. After that I'm OK.
DeleteI had a shock a few days ago. Our local obit. column contained my first real boyfriend. He was older than me, but supposed to be around for ever, so I thought.
ReplyDeleteMy advice is not to read the Obits; you never know who you might find there. An old girlfriend of mine died quite recently; I was totally shocked.
DeleteIt is quite shocking when that realisation hits, seemingly overnight. P is only now slowly .. very slowly ... coming to realise that he can't do everything that he used to at the same pace. He finds it very frustrating and I have to put up with that.
ReplyDeleteIt has hit me since last September. I seem to have suddenly aged over Winter.
DeleteOh dear, I think you're just suffering from that Winter syndrom thingy that I can't remember the name of right now...you'll be fine when you get back to France.
ReplyDeleteI think it's called S.A.D. but I can't remember what it stands for. Seasonal Ageing Decline maybe. I can't wait to get the pool up and running again.
DeleteSeasonal affective disorder. I collected my first SS check today. There is no going back. If I keep swearing I am not old they will probably quit paying me to be old.
DeleteI'm of a similar age to you Cro, and can sympathise. However I keep telling myself it's all in the mind and you're as young as you feel! Like everyone else in our age group, my mind tells me I'm still 25, but my body tells me otherwise, and I now think twice before sitting down on the floor.
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling. The difference between the age you feel, and the age you actually are, is frightening.
DeleteS.A.D. Seasonal Affective Disorder. It's due to lack of sunlight. Apparently taking Vit D helps!
ReplyDeleteAs Bette Davis said "Old age ain't no place for sissies"! X
I've always suffered from S.A.D. I was a Summer baby and winter depresses me.
DeleteHave about you young life. We are fortunate in having grandchildren aged 4 to 29 and greatgrandchildren aged 0 to 10. They are a breath of fresh air and a relief from two of our loving daughters who admonish us all the time to 'take care', 'don't forget to turn off the cooker', 'don't slip on the wet floor' - all well meant but so very irritating!
ReplyDeleteI left the cooker on recently (on low), and I got a right tongue-lashing from Lady M.
DeletePut me down as the latest member of the Old Codgers Club ;-(
ReplyDeleteIt has an ever-increasing membership!
DeleteWell, it beats the alternative, as they say.
ReplyDeleteI moan too much.
DeleteEmbrace Our age, we earned it, it is a privilege denied to many
ReplyDeleteI appreciated the frankness of this blogpost. You have always struck me as an upbeat kind of guy and you must not lose that spark. As the Liverpool anthem says, "Walk on, walk on to the end..."
ReplyDeleteGenerally I am quite upbeat. I've just returned from a dog walk and my legs were really playing-up. I suppose that's the worst bit. I really must lose some weight.
DeleteGrowing old is inevitable - go with it!
ReplyDeleteNo alternative!
DeleteI do think you need that country house in England. Working the soil and perfecting the property would make all the difference. Regarding health, make a list of concerns and address each with a doctor. Get answers. Also, look around online to further define questions.
ReplyDeleteI think you're right. If we'd had a country property here, it would have kept me more active. But I shall have all that in a few weeks time, and I'll see how it goes.
DeleteI am partial to beards if that is any comfort (but a compliment from an equally (or moreso) doddery 90 year old is not really a comfort. Wish I was thirty again.
ReplyDeleteYes, Oh to be 30 again.
DeleteAs I myself am getting older, I have a real appreciation of older folk. I have just joined an art group of people a couple of decades older than me. The tutor must be in his 80's and he is full of wit and charm and loads of knowledge gained through a long life of experience in the art world. I am sure you would be much like him Cro (but not as old!)
ReplyDeleteI think I would be a better teacher now than I was when I did teach. There is nothing to beat experience. I might even apply for a job at the RCA.
DeleteUnfortunately Cro age does not come on its own. But we're all on the same journey, chin up.
ReplyDeleteLuckily I'm still enjoying life, but I think there are those who think I shouldn't be.
DeleteI’m 59 so this is good to know. Nobody tells you this stuff. Thanks Cro.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry if I sounded depressing. Old age is still good fun; things just take a little longer.
DeleteHello, Cro. I think I may be older than you are, and definitely more infirm. All that is wrong with me is directly the result of my decadent life. A smoker for 50 years, too little exercise, blablabla. No one to blame but myself, so I shut up and get on with it.
ReplyDeleteI did smoke up until about 30 years ago. And I've probably consumed far too much alcohol in my lifetime. But we have to have some pleasures. Tonight we go to a very good Thai restaurant, where we shall eat, drink, and be merry.
Delete