It seems to be popular, these days, for new wives to continue to use their maiden names; I have even heard of husbands who adopt their wife's name.
But there is, of course, official procedure and etiquette to follow in such matters. It should be noted here that in France a woman's name officially stays as she was 'registered' or 'baptised'; calling herself Madame X is just a pleasantry.
Traditionally in England the wife of Mr John Smith is Mrs John Smith. If Mrs John Smith (née Miss June Brown) later divorces her husband, she becomes Mrs June Smith. This is how we know the difference between a married woman and a divorced woman. Nuance, m'dear.
In an upcoming wedding, where a divorcee is marrying a bachelor, the officiating priest should ask "Do you Harry Windsor take Mrs Rachel Endelson as your lawful wedded wife?" The response then might be "Er; I think you've got the wrong church Matey, I'm supposed to be marrying someone called Meg".
These days certain traditions are conveniently forgotten, even in the most elevated of circles. Next they'll be telling me that a 'mother of the bride' will lead her daughter down the aisle.
Surely not. Shock horror. STOP THE PRESS!
What larks.
Hyphenated married names are extremely popular in many parts of Austria. If Angela Merkel had married her husband here, say in Vienna, it's quite likely she'd now be known as Angela Sauer-Merkel. A wife is also allowed her husband's title so if Herr Sauer is a professor she'd be Frau Professor Sauer-Merkel. And she could carry this title with her to her gravestone as many women do.
ReplyDeleteI know several women with hyphenated married names; one has even kept her first 'married name' to attach to the second one. I'm not sure what the new husband thought about it!
DeleteI don't think Meghan will have much use for a surname anymore. Nor sunning it on a Greek island with her best friend, nor meeting Piers Morgan for a drink in his pub, nor going to a baseball game and a few selfies with the players. Life as Meggy knew it is about to end.
ReplyDeleteAnd I hope she knows it!
DeleteFor the benefit of those of your readers not familiar with British etiquette you may like to add that what you are referring to is the "address" on a (very) formal letter, say an invitation to the Royal Wedding. No one goes around calling themselves Mrs Cro Magnon. Assuming Mrs Magnon has a first name, for sake of argument since she is Swedish Astrid, she'd be known as Mrs Astrid Magnon. No one, not even in your world, would introduce her, at a cocktail party or a job interview, as Mrs Cro Magnon: "Call me Cro".
ReplyDeleteWomen keep their maiden name on point of marriage often for reasons of expediency. They may have established a reputation in their chosen profession, therefore known by that name.
Greetings to Mr Astrid Peterson,
U
Well now, it all depends if Lady M is a a Lady in her own right! I'm sure that she is!
ReplyDeleteOf course she is!
DeleteI kept my own name when I married. It's my name and no less important than my husband's. I see no reason why a woman should have to display her marital status by title. Men don't. It's time to box up these archaic traditions and put them away in the attic.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you. I would have hated to change my name on getting married, and I see it the same for women.
DeleteMy oldest niece has two daughters and there family name is that of her partner, but she has kept her own name. Maybe that will change when they are married at the end of the year. My nephew's wife kept her name when they married. Hippie niece gave the name of her then partner to her twin daughters. My dyke sister and her partner, also to married, gave their daughter a double barrelled name, both their family names. I used to go down the formal road, and still do for some, but the style I have adopted for address on letters at least is a first initial and the person's family name. Please no one bring up the Spanish name system upon marriage and the names of the children, no matter how sound the logic is.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't thought about same sex marriages; I presume the world is their oysters!
DeleteSorry, I cannot make the wedding on Saturday. I'm having heart surgery.
ReplyDeleteSnap!
DeleteI've kept my own name..after all he wouldn't change his!
ReplyDeleteIt is only a relatively modern practice, and thoroughly confusing when trying to trace people! As we are no longer considered our husbands goods and chattels, there is no need to change our names..unless we prefer his of course...and vice versa.
And yes,if you have a professional profile,changing name doesn't make sense...apart from the cost of doing it!
I agree, it's very annoying trying to trace old friends whose names have probably changed.
DeleteMy daughter kept her own name for professional and personal reasons. I was very pleased. I took my husband’s last name but never would I take his first name as in Mr. and Mrs John Smith. I have always thought that implied I was a non-entity and belonged to someone. However, to each their own.
ReplyDeleteAs someone noted above, the Mrs John Smith is for formal address only.
DeleteIt is not something one "takes", it just happens in Great Britain. As you described about divorce and titles, so with death; on the death of the husband, the wife remains Mrs John Smith and is formally addressed thus. I still maintain these forms of etiquette when addressing people through the mail. These forms of address will die out when email and electronic invitations totally take over from paper though.
DeleteYes, it's only in the case of divorce that the maiden 'given' name is used; again it's how we know the difference between a widow and a divorcee.
DeleteI learnt these 'rules' when I took a typing course in the 70's. The Dear Sirs, Yours faithfully, stuff. I don't remember Ms or Mz as an option. It stood me in good stead but as we now know Times they are a Changing.
ReplyDeletePersonally I shall continue to use such address, but many don't. Here in France it's very strict; just to say 'Yours sincerely' takes for ever.
DeleteMy daughter kept her maiden name but it has become a real pain travelling with her children, especially to the States now. They all have passports and now need notarized letters of consent to travel if one parent is absent.
ReplyDeleteFor a while, two of my grandsons (brothers) had two different EU nationalities; that caused problems too.
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ReplyDeleteI've always thought 'Choctaw Ridge' (made famous by the song) sounds so romantic! I wonder if it is?
DeleteIn Italy we keep our born into family identity, that is our maiden name. My signature has been the same since I got my I.D. card at sixteen.
ReplyDeleteMarried woman sometimes have their name and maiden surname with an ”in” in front of the husband's surname, eg. Maria T... in M...
Greetings Maria x
P.s. but that ”in” is ONLY used in the marriage certificate when proof is needed for important paper work, otherwise the name remains maiden on driver’s licence, passport, bank statement et al.
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That sounds like France, where you're born, and die, with the same name. I suppose it makes life simpler.
DeleteAfter reading all this I think in future I shall stick to first names.
ReplyDeleteIt's all a load of nonsense anyway Weave. People call themselves any old thing these days.
DeleteThank you for the etiquette of divorcees and names. I'm sure they will not be following it at the Royal wedding. Kate had a historic name but I don't think I've heard of a Megan in the family line. But come to that neither have I heard Zara.
ReplyDeleteIt'll be an interesting wedding anyway; if anyone turns-up!
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