That Annual Letter!

Dear Santa,

It's been a pretty horrible year, so I hope you're going to be kind to me.

After our French burglary, my mobility problems, and our recent bouts of illness, we need something more pleasant in our lives.

So, there'll be some Rum and Christmas Cake for you when you visit on the 24th/25th; provided, of course, that you come up trumps with a few requests!

I have only three requests this year. 

I really would like some workable legs. The old ones are worn-out, and a refurbished pair would be much appreciated.

I would also much appreciate someone who would pop in to clean the house a bit. Preferably an attractive young lady who would come once a week to do a spot of hoovering, dusting, and polishing. It would also be good if she was experienced in providing Tea and dark chocolate digestives at 10.30 am.

And thirdly I would like a regular supply of Beef Ribs. Once a month I would like a 4 Rib joint of Beef delivered, just like the ones I used to eat as a child. It must be of good quality, and very tender. I am capable of the roasting, but not the choosing; my knowledge of the best roasting joints is sorely lacking.

So there we are old pal. Three simple requests. I know you won't let me down.

Your faithful friend, Cro xx