Sunday 7 February 2021

Mrs Cropley's Creative Cooking


I suspect we've all known a Mrs Cropley. 

My father's cousin in London once presented us with a 'roasted' Chicken that had seen limited warmth for about 10 minutes and still had a bag of giblets inside, my own Swedish Mother-in-Law was renowned for her Spaghetti with Hazel Nuts, and I have been seriously poisoned by 'chefs' on several occasions; most notably by a Pea, Ham, and Salmonella soup.


Luckily I have never been sick from eating dodgy shellfish, as I know that it can severely restrict one's love of such delights for ever after; and that would have been a disaster. However, I was once quite ill after a very expensive meal at a multi-starred restaurant. The meal itself was wonderful, but I think it had all been far too rich for my obviously 'selective' stomach.

I can't think of any really bizarre recipes of my own invention, other than an inspired Asparagus Omelette. I put a few spears of cooked Asparagus into the whizzing machine with two eggs. whizzed them, and fried the resulting green mush in butter. What I had imagined would be a delicious Asparagus  Omelette was totally disgusting.

I would be very interested to hear of any equally nasty disasters; we could even assemble a book. The world is ready for your confessions!

29 comments:

  1. There is a Jewish-Polish dish called "calf foot jelly." We are preparing
    It from the fat of chicken legs that are cooked in water for a long time, or maybe from the gelatin that comes out of the legs while cooking. Most people really hate it. In our house it was a delicacy.

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    1. I have heard of 'Calf foot jelly', but never really thought about what it was. What do you do with it once it's there?

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    2. Eat it the way it is in a small plate as a first course usually.

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  2. Asparagus Omlette sounds ghastly and it turned out to be so.
    Mrs Cropley, well the actor was a great cast member. Sadly missed.
    In the 1980s I put a lot of effort into a casserole. I can't remember what the meat was but plums were involved. It was rich to the point of being inedible.

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    1. I once made a Jugged Hare, that had consumed about 3 litres of wine over its lengthy cooking period, and turned-out so rich that we could only eat a very small amount of it. It was delicious though!

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  3. Sadly I am in the category of having eaten a dodgy prawn and now, many years later, cannot stomach sea food in any way shape or form. Oohh, I did love it, but no, not for me. Can't even risk prawn crackers with a Chinese meal. Oh well!

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    1. It's always dodgy fish/shellfish that can put you off for life. Luckily I've never had such an evil experience.

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  4. I think I may have done that 'bag of giblets in the roast chicken' recipe in the past. Adds flavour!

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    1. On the occasion I mentioned above, I simply had to pick up the raw Chicken and take it back to her kitchen. Nothing was said, and we returned home earlier than expected.

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  5. My grandmother made and iced a very large Christmas cake and did not have a suitable plate for serving. My grandfather made a serving platter (wood covered with foil). The cake was served, the slices so large they were cut in half horizontally. Guests got the top iced part and close family the bottom half. My mother struggled through her piece thinking it wasn’t up to her mother’s usual standard. My brother took one mouthful and spat it out saying it was disgusting...my grandfather had glued the foil down to the board using fish glue...this had permeated its way up the cake. Top half was fine.

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  6. I was once served lobster tail salad on a Cathay Pacific flight to Hong Kong and was violently ill for the next 24 hours.
    I have never touched lobster since, although I do enjoy crab, provided I know that it has been kept and prepared hygienically.

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    1. I'm sure the worst food poisoning comes as a result of eating dodgy fish. Fish should come directly from the sea, and preferably be cooked by oneself.

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  7. Having once required several days of hospitalization for food poisoning after eating something from a fast food chicken establishment, you may be sure I have never returned to the franchise (in any location) even though it occurred more than 40 years ago. Full body shivers at the thought. :)

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    1. I have never eaten at McDonald's, but I have bought KFC, which I rather liked. I hope that isn't the one that poisoned you!

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  8. I love The Vicar of Dibley - but the "experimental food" Mrs Cropley serves - bäh!
    Glad I never knew anyone who was a bad cook. If - I would refuse to eat it, politely - I have never forgotten an adamant aunt who, when I was about four or five years old, let me sit more than five (!) hours in front of a (then cold) pea soup - I refused it because I hated those added "Backerbsen", tiny sort of "cookies" which I thought terribly mushy in that soup. I shut my mouth (something later in my life I find so hard to do :-)

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    1. I had a very similar experience at school with 'Bread and Butter Pudding'. I simply refused to eat it. I was eventually forced to eat some, and instantly invented 'projectile vomiting'.

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  9. I can't ever recall my wife producing anything other than wonderful food and I've never had a disaster but probably more by good luck than good fortune. However when in Paris a (very wealthy) friend suggested a restaurant for us. It turned out to be well outside my price range but once inside we just decided to go with the flow. We had identical meals but for the fact that I had their 'signature' starter of wafer thin smoked salmon. (coming for Scotland and loving smoked salmon I was curious). It turned out to be my downfall. It was the only thing I ate that my partner had not. As we were flying home the next day my partner had to call out a doctor at 4am in order to activate the travel insurance. Of course he wanted paying in cash. That was fun given that I was in no condition to get out of the bathroom. I don't think I've ever had such bad food poisoning before or since.

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    1. Prior to my wedding in Gibraltar, I had eaten a tuna sandwich from a street trader in Tangiers (not wise). As a result, I had to leave my own wedding ceremony twice to visit the 'facilities'. A memorable wedding for all the wrong reasons.

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  10. Growing up in New Orleans, we ate a lot of seafood... including many dishes with oysters (even raw). I loved them all! But did get sick once here in Texas and 'thought' it might have been the oysters. I don't ever eat them anymore just in case. My mom always said that you never eat seafood unless you know it is 'fresh'...

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    1. I'm a big fan of Oysters (raw), and am always aware that I might eat one that will make me sick. I suppose I think the same about Mussels. So far so good.

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  11. Chicken Tagine in Morocco, resulted in 8 days in hospital with IV antibiotics, followed up CDiff. I was off work for six weeks.

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    1. I'm very fond of Moroccan food, but the worst Moroccan food I've eaten was in Marrakech. Also see my reply above to Graham.

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  12. Can't think of one Cro - had plemty of uninspiring ones. I have never been one for trying anything - love Moules Mariniere and will always have it if i is available - luckily never to my disadvantage so far.

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    1. I buy, cook, and eat, Mussels regularly. No bad ones so far!!

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  13. In 2008 I had an episode with Extended-Spectrum Beta-Lacta-mase (ESBL). It was something I had picked up on holiday in Turkey and in another age I would have died from it. Fortunately I had a course of heavy duty antibiotics in hospital over a period of a week and that saved my life. I still have no idea what caused it.

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    1. Even that name makes me feel ill. I'm afraid that hygiene standards in many countries is poor; especially in hotels and restaurants.

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  14. I have had some less than stellar experiments, but have managed not to kill anybody-yet.

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    1. I think we can all probably say the same. Keep fingers crossed.

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