Sunday 26 April 2015

A pleasant but unexpected letter.


My dearest Cro.,

It's been such a long time since one last sent you some news.

One expects that you've seen that one's oldest is having another sprog, that wife of his certainly knows how to pop 'em out. His first one has already been trying on my crown; the monkey!

Me and Cammy have been quite busy; Mummy sees to that. We've been opening factories, planting thousands of bloody trees, and giving speeches to every Tom, Dick, and Harry; not my Harry of course, he's on the pull in Oz.

How's Haddock's coming along? One's taken your advice and got the garden team to put in some of those Cavolo Nero thingies this year. One may try flogging it in the shop.

One read your thing about the election Cro; Mummy's not at all happy. She can't stand the thought of that awful Marxist-Milly person coming to the house. As for some of the others she just despairs; that Scots woman is a bloody terrorist, the green woman is just plain bonkers, and Farage wears velvet collars (one of her pet hates). Perhaps she should have them all beheaded (my little joke).

When will you next be in Gloucestershire? There are some things one needs to show you at Highgrove; one's made space for another of your paintings.

Do forward my best wishes to Lady Magnon.

Your very good friend, Charles xx  (ah beantow... my French never was too hot)


  1. Absolutely brilliant Cro - you have caught his way of speaking exactly - I can hear him saying it!

  2. Should be more correspondence from the Palace me thinks ~ brilliant!

  3. Oh, too brilliant for words!

  4. I'd heard he had a brilliant way with words.

  5. One must improve ones French.

  6. He was in Turky yesterday taking part in the 100 years memorial service fpr the Gallipoli attack.(my English is worse than his Franch).

  7. Mmmm, maybe unsparing use of the axe and block would substantially improve the quality of our politicians, it would certainly reduce the quantity.
    However I believe that given all the torment they have inflicted on the voters hang, drawing and quartering may be more appropriate!

  8. Brilliant! More please :-))

  9. Strangely, whenever I see Charlie there is something in his features that always reminds me of my Mother.....
    Oh and by the way Old Boy I am not Irish.

    1. I know you're not, but I like to say it anyway.

  10. Doesn't one get tired of being referred to as 'one'. I guess it's lonely at 'almost the top'.

  11. PS Cro, please keep this letter out of the way of those awful journalists on the Guardian, you know the ones who won't leave me alone for a minute and will no doubt want to come snooping round your studio and Hassocks if given half a chance. Don't want to worry you. Charles.

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