I've suffered all my life from shyness. In fact I would say, almost to the level of 'debilitating'.
Even now I'm not good in social crowds; much preferring small intimate groups.
I have learned over the years how to pretend to be almost extrovert, but I don't find it easy.
I suppose the most crippling effect of my shyness was when I was in my late teens/early twenties when I made such a pig's breakfast over meeting the opposite sex; I was forced to torture myself just to start simple conversations. Luckily I never allowed this to rule my life, and I managed to have a few stunningly beautiful girlfriends. Lady Magnon even said that she found my shyness quite appealing; goodness knows why.
I'm still very shy; no doubt I always will be. I try not to let people see that side of me, but pretending to be gregarious continues to be extremely hard work.
Now you know why I'm a part time hermit; and probably also why I write a daily blog.
28 comments:
I so understand this.
Cro, my own shyness took the form of venustraphobia. When presented with true beauty, I tended to marvel and gag. Then I made friends with a woman who didn't know how stunning she is. I wrote a post on venustraphobia in January and the comments made me feel less alone. You can reach it by highlighting the following and pasting it to your top bar: http://trainrideoftheenigmas.blogspot.com/2014/01/venustraphobia-case-study.html#comment-form
Now, at least, I have a name for it; BUMFUZZLED. Thanks.
I think a lot of people are probably the same - I know I am.
Know that feeling. I don't cope with crowds, new places, noise, shops or traffic.
New places are a problem. I hate visiting anywhere where I haven't been before, unless I'm accompanied by someone who already knows the place. Restaurants especially.
I am not shy but am very capable of making a pigs ear of social situations by saying the wrong thing.
Me too Cro...... I name is john and I am a shy
Noticing a common thread here - those that cant be social (with ease) blog!
I never knew.
My daughter is crippled by low self-esteem (which is difficult for me to come to terms with - she's so interesting and fabulous) which can appear to be shyness, to those who don't know her.
I'm a little reserved and private which can also come across as shyness (or arrogance?) .
Those who love us, know us, and accept us. And THEY are the ones who matter. Lady M found your 'shyness' endearing. Lucky you!
Crikey, no wonder we've never met. I almost came over and said hello at the Lumberjack vide grenier but ... I was too shy!
I've fought with shyness (although I'm not timid) all my life, deliberately choosing professions which would force me to be more extrovert. Now I'm retired I fully indulge my shyness at the expense of being considered aloof and reclusive. This is a nice place to be a hermit though!
Maybe that's another thing explained.
I must be a good actor.
I am an introvert in an extovert's clothing. I appear very outgoing to other people but I carry around that that lump of stone in my stomach everywhere I go.
I come out of my shell now and then, pretend to be sociable and outgoing, then I scuttle back inside, exhausted.
Sounds like many of us are the same!
We can be anyone we want to be when we blog...outgoing, fun loving, social, witty.....that's why I'm here. In real life I'm socially inept.
I can't tell you how much this post hit home for me. You're a part time hermit, I'm a full time hermit. I go out rarely, and never alone. Thanks for sharing, Cro.
As a teen and then as a young man I was shy but then I met my lovely wife. Together we evolved and strengthened each other’s self confidence. My career involves meeting and talking with many people so the shy boy I once was is only a distant memory. Now in my later years I find I tire easily of people and spend long hours puttering alone in our very private back gardens.
Another shy one here. I've had jobs where i needed to be outgoing and 'up' all the time. I found it far more exhausting than the job i have now, even though it takes a great deal of energy and fortitude.
Shy and handsome. What a catch you were :)
Hey, Cro, another introvert here. I've learned to live in an expected extrovert world but my desire is to be alone in a quiet environment. My wife who been gone for 13 years taught me how to be who I am in an extroverted world. People that meet me today would think I was an extrovert but my secret introvert life is where I yearn to be.
Have a great shy extroverted day. :-)
I don't really have a problem in groups, but I have found that I am really comfortable with very small number of people. And that I am the most comfortable and fun in 1-on-1 situations. In a way, writing or blogging is a 1-on-1 thing: we write for whoever might read it.
The farmer is shy too Cro and is much better in small groups of people he knows well. Yet we have been on group holidays across the US and Canada and he has almost been the life and soul of the party. I know that this is a way of hiding his shyness. Folk are funny.
Perhaps I should offer counselling. Please do not hesitate to call me on 7885741780.
Wow Cro this post certainly brought forth a big response. Obviously there are lots of us out there who feel the same ... and cover it in the same way.
I am not shy, and can be as extroverted as I need to be (say, at work), but crowds and even large groups exhaust me. And I can't tolerate noise. The extroverted side of me is just a facade I've learned to show when needed. I think most bloggers are probably introverted.
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