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Picture the scene. I was in Marrakech Morocco, looking to buy a camel skin bag in a rather smart shop.
The shopkeeper was pleasant enough, then asked "Where do you come from?".
"I'm English" I replied (speaking in French) "but I live in France".
"You don't sound very English" he said.
"If I was speaking to you in English I probably would" I said firmly.
"You don't even look very English" he continued; etc, etc.
I thought no more about it.
Recently a guest at Buckingham Palace was asked the same question. The woman herself had very dark skin, she wore her hair in an African native dreadlocks style, she wore a faux Leopard skin print dress, and also wore a very African looking shell necklace. She looked every inch an African diplomat or maybe politician.
"What part of Africa do you come from?" had asked the lady.
All hell let loose. Accusations of RACISM have been screamed from the highest woke mountains, the newspapers have gone crazy, and the poor accused elderly lady has had to resign her minor position at the palace. Ms Ngozi Fulani (above) was outraged, and apparently felt racially 'violated'.
What I would like to ask is, why one person should feel so 'violated', yet asking the same question to someone else (me) seemed perfectly acceptable.
I do know the answer, as do you. But of course we're not allowed to say it.
If I had been shown the above photo (how she was dressed at the palace), and asked to GUESS where Ms Ngozi Fulani came from, I might well have suggested an African country. In fact she comes from Willesden, and her real name is Marlene Headley, which changes the whole event into the most appalling case of Cultural Appropriation and topsy-turvy racism I've yet encountered. Ms Ngozi (Marlene) should be ashamed of herself. Drumming up 'racism' where none exists has become all too common.
N.B. Ms Ngozi Fulani (Marlene) runs a domestic abuse charity called 'Sistah Space', exclusively for women/girls of African heritage.
If anyone is now going to accuse ME of racism, would you please use words of more than four letters.
It's a difficult one. It's a pity that Lady Hussey didn't know when to stop. Her initial showing a polite interest in a guest's ethnical origin eventually amounted to badgering (if the conversation's transcription is correct) - something I have NEVER experienced in the more rarefied circles of British society. Reticence more the order of the day.
ReplyDeleteHowever, the "offended" party must have known what this elderly lady meant and just, graciously, answered the bloody question instead of digging her heels in.
U
I suspect that Ms Fulani's motives may have been more complicated. She went equipped with a small tape recorder, and it is suggested that she was hoping to prompt some form of 'racism' at the palace. She is not coming out of this episode as a victim!
DeleteAmong many "poor victim me" cards (I dare not mention some lest I'll find myself hanging from the next tree) being played ad nauseam, race is one of them.
DeleteSo, yes, as you suggest, Ms Fulani played her hand, but she played it not only underhand, she played it badly. But then we appear to live in a society which milks anything whilst flogging a dead horse.
U
She is following the fine example of Prince Harry's wife (MM).
DeleteMarlene is like so many stupid people, easily offended. In her defence she obviously has a lot to put up with, probably the least of which is being pig ugly.
ReplyDeleteIt is up to her how she dresses, but if her fashion choices suggest that she's come hot-foot from Africa, then she can expect it to be part of any conversation.
Delete"Pig ugly"? You may wish to rethink that one - on more grounds than one.
DeleteIf your assertion that "stupid people [are] easily offended" is correct then bloggers rank high in the echelons of the "stupid" (your word not mine).
U
Yes, but don't inculpate yourself Ursula.
DeleteThank you for your spot on opinion!
ReplyDeleteYou are a brave soul to speak out against the injustice.
From what I have read about the conversation, Lady Hussey appears to be confused. The reaction to her questions, appears to be anger, not the compassion one might expect towards a confused and/or elderly person. The media owes both women an apology.
One has to be foolish these days to tell the truth about such nonsense, I am old and no longer care what these racists might have to say to, or about, me.
DeleteCharitable person my foot. If she were a kind, charitable woman Ms Fulani would have given a kindly explanation to the old lady and kept the small talk conversation to herself. She is supposedly proud of her African origins so it makes no sense that she made such a big deal out the conversation.
ReplyDeleteAs I said above, if you dress like that you can expect it to be brought-up in conversation.
DeleteMy very limited experience of The Palace - a garden party - showed me that the Equeries and other staff members are working to find guests of interest to introduce, with background, to their principals. I think the Lady was doing her job!
ReplyDeleteShe was simply trying to make conversation with someone who probably looked a bit 'out of place'.
DeleteTo see an older lady vilified for this is apalling.
ReplyDeleteIt will upset people if we do as much as breathe in the near future.
I really don't understand all the offence that is taken over the smallest thing.
I suspect (as do others) that it was all planned as part of the anti-Monarchy movement.
DeleteI think you could be right, Cro. It is said that Lady Hussey has a hearing problem. She may have misunderstood the reply and needed clarification. People of 82 years often become muddled, I know several, and things have to be repeated because they haven't quite grasped the meaning first time around. I think Marlene took advantage of the situation.
DeleteTo treat a person of senior years in this way is disgusting.
Two things, which may or may not be true. Firstly, Ms Fulani is a Meghan supporter (have they met?), secondly, Lady Hussey was part of the group of experienced people asked by the Queen to show Meghan the ropes in joining the 'Firm'. I strongly suspect that Lady Hussey was targeted. Even if neither of these things are true, Ms Fulani was being deliberately difficult in the way that she answered an elderly lady's questions. An elderly lady whose job at these events was to find out who people are and where they are from!
ReplyDeleteFrom what I'm reading, by people who know, all of what you've said is so. There's more to this than meets the eye!
DeleteYou seem to have missed the fact that she told the woman who asked her what part of Africa she was from, that she is British and born here.
ReplyDeleteThe woman then asked but what part of Africa do Your People come from? Having had a reply, that second question was irrelevant, as she was there to represent the organisation she works for.
Then why dress like a native of Africa? Her outfit was bound to provoke questions; which was no doubt the intention. Ms Fulami is no fool!
Delete
DeleteWhat is wrong with asking what part of Africa her people came from? It seems to me like ordinary, friendly small talk. It is like saying you can't have a normal conversation anymore if the woman was not allowed to ask this. Racism is "no blacks, no Irish, no dogs".
I really do have to say that the woman is clueless. She truly is. She is a person who has spent her life living in a rarified environment. She is out of touch with a great many things. She is probably very accustomed to people simply making allowances for her because of who she is, because of her position. She came up on someone who 'played' her. The clueless woman's question was understood, in my opinion, but instead of answering it, she feigned ignorance and turned it into something it wasn't. However, the question begs an answer: Should someone that clueless be included in gatherings like this? Probably not. But it happens all the time. I cannot speak of specifics, but it is a straightforward fact that there are organizations out there that choose people to represent their charity/organization due to their position and ability to open doors in high circles. There are an awful lot of idjits among them.
DeleteWhy did Marlene Headley have to flag up the discussion with Lady Hussey? It would have been wiser and kinder to just smile and let it go - not go running to the media about a daft old lady who got herself in a bit of a tangle. I must get in touch with Marlene Headley about her mis-spelling of "Sister". It's not "Sistah" though phonetically I guess it sounds like that.
ReplyDeleteAs far as I understand, Ms Fulami had an agenda, which she fulfilled as desired; to accuse the palace of racism and cause dissent.
DeleteWell said Cro - and most of your commenters!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that I'm not the only one who saw through this charade. My very first thoughts on reading the article were "How much is she being paid?" and that it was all deliberately set up so that Marlene could cry racism. My second thought was what a good advert it was for her Charity. But to react as she did was the height of ignorance and appalling bad manners. Perhaps someone should look through the Chrity's books and see if there have been any interesting payments lately, from a source we could all suspect.
Not forgetting, of course, that a charity that only deals with black people is very odd. The same type of thing for white people would have been instantly damned.
DeleteReverse racism.
DeleteAndrew Lawrence does a very good video on the episode on his You Tube channel. You may like to watch it. It is short and to the point.
ReplyDeleteI shall have a look, thanks.
DeleteI have to wonder, if a white woman turned up at the doors of Sistah Space, having escaped an abusive relationship, would they help her?
ReplyDeleteAre you kidding? The answer is NO.
DeleteAgree totally, well said Cro. I fail to understand why racism seems to apply only to certain members of society. I don't remember much racist outcry during the recent riots in Leicester.
ReplyDeleteIt has become a one-way street.
DeleteWhy should one person feel so violated, yet asking the same question to someone else seemed perfectly acceptable?”
ReplyDeleteBefore addressing this let’s review what allegedly happened.
Firstly, SH picked up NF’s hair so that she could read her name badge which had been obscured by her hair.
The conversation was then as follows:
SH: Where are you from?
NF: Sistah Space
SH: No where do you come from?
NF: We’re based in Hackney
SH: No what part of Africa are you from?
NF: I don’t know they didn’t leave any records.
SH: Well you must know where you are from. I spent time in France. Where are you from?
NF: Here, UK
SH: No, but what nationality are you.
NF: I am born here. I am British.
SH: No but where do you really come from. Where do your people come from?
NF: My people? Lady what is this
SH: Oh I can see I am going to have a challenge getting you to say where you’re from. When did you first come here?
NF: Lady! I am a British national, my parents came here in the 1950s when…
SH: Oh, I knew we’d get there in the end, you are Caribbean!
NF: No Lady, I am of African heritage, Caribbean descent and British nationality
SH: Oh so you’re…
So that is what was said. Now think of Ms Fulani’s life experiences. She grew up in Kilburn. The only black family in the road. Think back to the culture at the time Love thy Neighbour, On the Buses - police brutality against black people. A very different up bringing from the privileged background of someone who went to private school and was measured for a suit at his father’s tailor at the age of 18 for his job in the city!
It didn’t start well when the lady in waiting picked up Ms Fulaini’s hair which was obscuring the name badge! Imagine lifting up someone's hair - talk about a violation of personal space.
“Racism is no blacks, no Irish and no dogs”. Actually I think that is discrimination. To ask “where do your people come from?” Would the same question have been asked to a white person? I doubt it. Ms F was born here and is as British as anyone else who was born here - or indeed anyone who wasn’t born here but has British citizenship.
Giving SH a pass because she is old and perhaps confused. Well, in which case she shouldn’t be in that position getting so confused. Though I do understand older people can get confused and have read quite a lot of writings of older confused bloggers who know what the grand plan is…but I digress!
Sorry for the long post but you asked the question Cro. In short, the answer is she has lived a different life to you. She is seen differently to you. Do a bit of reading on white privilege and you might see the answer. To try and understand why someone reacted a certain way in a situation, don't focus on how you would have reacted - try to understand that person's life experiences.
If a woman of color moved her hair, asked the questions, then what? Thinking from the life experiences of Both sides is understanding.
DeleteNot all white people are racist, and should not be treated as such. Speaking up about racism no matter from where is important.
My word UK Musings, you really do have issues. I knew there would be one or two bizarre comments, but I hadn't counted on the whole racist caboodle.
DeleteUK Musings, glad you made the distinction between "racism" and "discrimination".
DeleteYour musings veer, partly, into what's socially acceptable regardless of race/age/gender/whatever. As you say, touching someone's hair is most certainly invading personal space. And I say this as someone who has to watch her touchy feely tendencies. Socially acceptable would have been "I am Lady H. What's you name?" "What organisation do you represent?" (considering it was a "work" do). What I would have done but then that's me, never backward in being forward, I'd have gushed: "Oh my gosh, that's an amazing outfit you are wearing. What inspired it?" Bet my last penny that would have opened the floodgates about family history, their origin, you name it. However, unless it was reported incorrectly, I can't help feeling that Ms Fulani is either hyper sensitive (for which you give an explanation) or had an agenda. Or, at least, exploited the opportunity that offered itself by Lady H's insistence on going back to deepest Africa. And why go public? If Ms Fulani were my daughter or something (colour matching not withstanding) I'd tell her to not take herself so seriously, be a bit more lenient. Don't always assume the worst.
U
I think we should also accept that Lady H is elderly, and of a very different generation. That would not be an excuse for nastiness, but I cannot imagine her having wanted to be nasty.
DeleteHaving learned a recording device was involved makes the whole thing much worse in my opinion. Somebody paid her to do that I'm thinking.
DeleteUK Musings,
ReplyDeleteI have one question for you, why does there appear to be a transcript of everything said between SH and MH? Was someone wearing a recording device?
The answer is YES, she did. She was well prepared, and ready!
DeleteHad I had that conversation I would have remembered it word for word - no need for a recording device. I believe the reason there is a transcript is MF tweeted it shortly after it happened.
ReplyDeleteWhat utter rot.
DeleteAnd, please, don't try to score lefty points against my upbringing. That really is showing your true colours.
DeleteHer initials are not MF, choose from either NF, which is her appropriated name, or MH, her genuine name, Marlene Headley!
DeleteThe alleged conversation was tweeted shortly after it happened, but do we have any proof that what was tweeted was the absolute truth?
Marlene Headley said she was "shocked into silence", yet apparently the shock did not affect her memory of the exact words used. What utter tosh!
Indeed not MF, rather NF, my apologies for hitting the wrong key and thank you for the correction.
DeleteDo we have any proof that the conversation that was tweeted was 'the absolute truth' - we do not, but there has been no rebuttal and the comments here are on those words.
NF said she was 'shocked into silence' but could still remember the words. I dont find that difficult to believe at all. In fact, the silence could re-enforce the memory of the words as it was played over and over again in her head.
Cro, the reason I brought up your upbringing is due to the question you posed (I wasn't offended when asked where I came from why was she?) I was trying to illustrate the different circumstances and life experiences. As to 'lefty points', I didn't realise trying to understand someone else's point of view was 'lefty'.
DeleteYou might be surprised to know that your early background is not that different from mine. Can't remember the age of your Alma Mater - mine is a mere 471 years old.
Red brick!
DeleteI do not understand that particular tempest in a teapot either. Poor Hussy was certainly out of touch, but her questions reflected curiosity and they didn't seem unkind. I don't understand the cries of racism. I once worked for an elderly man doing health care. He was extremely well to do. He was fascinated that I had grown up quite differently. He was very curious about that. We had many an odd conversation. "How many boats did you have?" Answer: None. Zero. And he'd marvel over that deprivation. But I never saw that as insulting. I answered his questions, and learned quite a bit about him in the process.
ReplyDeleteConversation comes in many forms, and I'm sure that Lady H was simply trying to find-out more about Ms Fulani; she must have cut an exotic figure.
DeleteSometimes things are taken to the extreme. Will a law suit will be filed and attempts to cash-in follow? In the meantime, the press will go wild and add fuel to the fire. We know the drill, we've seen it before.
ReplyDeleteI've read that Charles intends to invite her to the palace to apologise. That would only make Lady M look more guilty. She is a very old friend of the family, and should be supported.
DeleteLady H (silly me)
DeleteOutrageous remark by Adrian ward
ReplyDeleteYes. It truly was, but I've come to the point where I simply don't bother to read some commenters. I'm certain they do the same.
DeleteAdrian Ward is a racist, sexist, misogynist twat, he has always been thus!
DeleteI’m surprised it was not deleted .
DeleteAgreed about Ward comment - many others also outrageous to me
DeleteI chose to ignore that particular description of her; not very kind.
DeleteOutrage is subjective. If you have an objective opinion then feel free to pile in and I'll re-assess.
DeleteJohn, grow up. Normal folk might disagree but banning shows stupidity.
For a woman who was violated and traumatized, she appears pretty social when chatting with Queen Camilla.
ReplyDeleteAnd frankly that outfit was terrible. Not a national costume but it looked like a mish mash of cheap nighties and plastic necklaces.
Marlene has tweeted in support of the Duchess of Sussex and declared that she was a victim of domestic abuse by the Firm.
She went with an agenda and looking for a fight.
I think we all understand her agenda. There are forces afoot who are anti-royal, anti-white, and anti-free speech.
DeleteI didn't know the full story, here only the bare facts were given; an elderly lady insisting on asking "what country are you from?" and being elderly she should have been forgiven for not knowing the current protocol, but now knowing from you about the "violated" lady's heritage I am shocked that she should think that way. could she not have said "I am English but my ancestral heritage is African"?
ReplyDeleteEXACTLY that. That's all it needed, but we all know why she didn't say it.
Delete