Thursday 22 January 2015

Not a-bloody-gain.



I'm thinking of having a tattoo. It'll be in big letters on my forehead, and it'll say 'DON'T SELL THIS MAN ANYTHING THAT NEEDS TO BE HOME-ASSEMBLED'.

Lady Magnon has this crazy idea that she can beat me at Ping Pong (table tennis), so to prove the point she's bought a new table and is taunting me with puerile jests.

Her first ploy, however, was to make me angry, and what better way than by buying a bloody table that comes in bloody BITS. She knows what affect this has on my otherwise placid nature, and sees this as part of her pre-victory plans.

Much sweat has been shed, expletives have been bandied, and bits put-on upside down. What should have taken ten minutes has taken a whole bloody day (when doesn't it?), and I'm in a pretty foul mood.

I shall now wait until I'm feeling a bit more relaxed before giving her a damn good bloody Ping Pong thrashing.

N.B. And don't even ask about the delivery of the wretched 100 kg (yes, 100 kg)  'package'. That's another whole bloody story which raised my blood pressure beyond previously known heights. .



20 comments:

  1. Oh the horror. I can't even cope with putting up a folding table, (the legs always go in the wrong direction) let alone assemble a piece of furniture. Did you finally get the table assembled and ready for a game after all that? I hope you're regaining your calm and lowering your blood pressure with your feet up and a glass of red.

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    Replies
    1. It's 3/4 done; I shall return to it this morning. Unfortunately there are bits to take off, turn round, and replace, which drives me mad (stupid instructions).

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  2. Our instructions for those sorts of things are usually in Chinese translated to English by someone who was being paid for doing a job they couldn't do ! I feel your pain... and 100kilos ??? It's not going to blow over is it?

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    1. The HUGE (empty) lorry that 'delivered' it, couldn't get within 200 metres of its destination. I had to put it on the top of my car and precariously drive it the last distance. Getting it off again was fun, as was getting it into the barn.

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  3. I also seem to suffer a blindness when trying to assemble anything with more than 2 parts, a new swivel chair came in self-assembly from, I didn't even un-pack it, fortunately my son doesn't seem to have inherited my incompetence, he had it assembled in 30 minutes.

    And 100kgs? t;s against H & S rule to allow a man to lift anything heavier than 25 kg, obviously this doesn't apply to ping-pong table manufacturers?

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    Replies
    1. It's a substantial 'professional' table. I suppose it needs to be solid; but 100 kgs does seem a tad excessive.

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  4. Replies
    1. How can you say that, Weaver. It's WAR; no less.

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  5. I've now completed the build. Everything works, and we have even played our first game. Modesty forbids me from telling you who won.

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  6. I feel dizzy just thinking about constantly bending down to pick up the ball. lol
    Briony
    x

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    Replies
    1. That's the only bad bit, and they bounce around like things possessed.

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  7. Oh I love a bit of grist For the blog....!

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  8. Oh Cro...I can so commiserate. When our daughter was yet a teenager we invested in a ping pong table too. Yes it came in a kajillion pieces and no we are not adept at reconstructing. It was a hideous experience but we had lots of fun for many years with that table and then it was donated to a youth group at our then married daughters church. It was all worth it.

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    1. I think it'll earn its money. We both enjoy playing, and the grandsons seem to enjoy it too. It's also very good for eye/hand coordination.

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  9. I have trouble putting a box together.

    I have a feeling that Lady M might win the first game as she is rested up.

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  10. So, it sounds as if in the end, it was all worthwhile! Dare I say it, Lady M was right after all!

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  11. Oh, anytime I assemble something it's always entertaining...for others. Me, not so much.

    Congrats on successfully assembling it and winning a game!

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  12. I'll stick to playing on the dining room table.

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  13. A lot of trouble - but think how the boys will enjoy it when they come to stay.

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  14. Good luck with the " flim flam" !

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