This is a rather tricky and embarrassing subject, but it needs to be told in all its grisly detail.
Billy had the snip when he was still quite young; Lady M thought it was best to strike whilst he was still childless.
But the operation doesn't seem to have dampened his ardour, in fact he has recently shown more 'fathering ambitions' than any other dog I've known.
He really doesn't seem to have any preferences either. The recipients of his ardour can be male, female, large, small, or medium. He can attack from the back or the front; he doesn't seem to mind.
I can be walking along, humming some Abba favourite, when I look back to find him hard at it, usually with a group of giggling lady dog-owners all applauding his efforts. None of them ever seem to mind.
So, in fear of Billy one day being accused of sexual assault, I wonder what I should be doing about his desires. Should I keep him permanently on a lead? Should I carry a loudspeaker in order to worn fellow dog owners that Billy is on his way? Or should I just shout "Get off, you randy pervert"?
Usually it's a rather limp-wristed "Billy, stop that at once".
Any suggestions would be welcome.
1
Billy, don't be a hero. ( song)
ReplyDeleteHe ain't no hero; he's a Billy Willy.
DeleteKeep him on a leash when out and about and if you let him off keep a close eye on him so you can call him back immediately if necessary.
ReplyDeleteThe theory sounds good, but in practice he would pretend to be deaf.
DeleteBilly's face in that photo says it all, priceless: What ARE you talking about?
ReplyDeleteSeveral of my [male human] friends and wider family members have had the snip. As far as I know it hasn't cooled their ardour.
Thank you [and Billy] for an early morning laugh, needs must,
U
He's lying by my feet, so I've passed on your message.
DeleteA nice drop of bromide in his breakfast should slow him down.
ReplyDeleteDo they sell Dog Bromide?
DeleteHave you ever watched " Dogs behaving ( very) badly" on Channel 5 . Tuesday nights at 8? I think it was only Last week that Graeme tackled a similar problem. Can't remember how he sorted it out as it isn't a problem my dog has so wasn't taking it all in, but well worth a watch !
ReplyDeleteI have seen that programme some while ago. It's a shame I missed it.
DeleteYou should be able to find it on catchup or My5 whatever. I am sure it was last week....a pale coloured retriever!
DeleteMy first Labrador had the snip when he was about 15 months old. It did nothing to cool his ardour but his "attention" was towards female dogs. Once they had the snip, none of our other male dogs we had were ever a problem. I think you will find that you can get tablets from the vet. to help. Failing that, sadly, keeping him on the lead seems the only option. Poor Billy.
ReplyDeleteYou could always write to Graeme at Channel 5 and ask for help. We might see you on TV!
He was well behaved this morning, running around with his pals. I may just have to take him somewhere else.
DeleteIt is said that dogs take after their owners, Consequently, if you wish to alter Billy's behaviour you yourself must stop your leering and lecherous thoughts. Sorry. I know that the truth can sometimes hurt.
ReplyDeleteI have had a word with him, but he just ignores me.
DeleteI would consult thee vet.
ReplyDeleteA dog-psychiatrist maybe!
DeleteIf he was a human, I would have him examined for frontal lobe dementia (it lowers inhibitions and often leads to similar behaviour in older humans.)
ReplyDeletePerhaps I should stop feeding him Oysters.
DeleteYou should give him a stern talking to. (Love his expression in the photo.)
ReplyDelete'Stern-ish' anyway, but he still doesn't listen.
DeleteI like your usual response.
ReplyDeleteHe is healthy, good for him.
Healthy enough to go around .......
DeleteAnd now you tell us, you have the most amorous dog in the area. That is pretty funny. Alert: Here comes Cro... & Billy.
ReplyDeleteThat is how it has become; 'Lock up your sons and daughters'.
DeleteOur lab pup is one year old next week, un-snipped. He never tries to hump dogs, but his soft toy, a rhino, gets humped a lot by him. Another dog did try to hump him once, but he just stood there looking very scared.
ReplyDeleteThat's the other thing; the humpees never really seem to mind.
DeleteIf it's not a female in heat, he is expressing dominance. He wants to be the alpha of the park.
ReplyDeleteThe real current boss of the park is a HUGE St Bernard (I think); Billy leaves him well alone.
DeleteBlind people have guide dogs. Deaf people have hearing dogs. ...
ReplyDeleteYes; well.....
DeleteI think Billy needs a serious training class.
ReplyDeleteI think he knows enough already.
Delete