UDI for England.

 

With a new SNP First Minister, Humza Yousaf, replacing Nicola Sturgeon in Scotland, the horny old question of Independence continues to raise its very ugly head North of the border. Scottish Labour Party leader Anas Sarwar isn't happy with Yousaf and his 'breakaway' credentials, and wants a pukka general election. They're never happy up there. 

In Northern Ireland the security alert level has recently been raised to 'severe', as the Catholic terrorists plan more attacks to further their aim of quitting the Union.

So that just leaves the Welsh, whose 'second-home burning' has been on hold for a while. But we should probably expect more soon.

It has always been said in England that the other members of the Union hate us in proportion to how much the English donate to their economies. We give most per capita to the Irish, so they hate us the most, and try to kill us. Second comes Scotland, who hate us just a little less; and show that mostly by just throwing insults. And finally the least per capita (still a huge amount) goes to the Welsh, who just hate us 'a bit'.

N Ireland, Scotland, and Wales all have their own national parliaments. England doesn't, so lets put things right.

To solve all these feelings of unpleasantness, I suggest that England now declares UDI (Universal Declaration of Independence), and leaves the other three members of the Union to go it alone as a triad. They obviously think they know how to do things better than the English, so let's give them the opportunity to prove themselves right!

They could control their own finances with their own central banks, money, etc. They could raise their own taxes. Run their own health, education, and social security systems. And devise their own systems for law and order. All English owned businesses would return home, and each country could start again from scratch to suit their needs.

Of course, without the financial help from Westminster they would probably fall-flat on their faces at the first hurdle, but if that's what they want, they should not be deprived.

England, on the other hand would return Westminster to being an ENGLISH parliament, and without the huge expense of the troublesome trio, could only go from strength to strength.

Mister Chairman; I PROPOSE THE MOTION!