Thursday, 17 April 2025
Roy Brooks
Wednesday, 16 April 2025
RIP Father Ted.
Tuesday, 15 April 2025
Vanity Fair.
My phone
Monday, 14 April 2025
Veggie Pie.
Sunday, 13 April 2025
It's been an interesting week.
Saturday, 12 April 2025
The Cherub
Friday, 11 April 2025
No, not Jam, it's 'Spread'.
Imagine that you are 'Little Miss Perfect', and you are looking for a factory that will make some jam for you.
The one you find (allegedly The Small Batch Jam Co of Pacifica California) already makes expensive jam, so you consider the factory ideal.
Miss Perfect (let's call her MM) asks them to make some Strawberry 'Spread' for her; not 'Jam'. She wants it runny, and she promises to make sure it sells well by suggesting a 'Royal' name. The brand name for the jam (spread) is to be 'As Ever' (an anagram of Arse EV; EV = Exceptionally Vengeful).
MM wants fancy packaging, regal looking art work, and an overall feel of luxury to fit in with how she sees herself. She wants to charge a lot of money for it, and wants people to think that they have been privileged to buy it. This is to be a 'spread' above all other spreads (even though it's just ordinary runny jam), and she intends to become very rich by putting her name on it.
MM wants her clients to believe that the spread has been made in her own kitchen, so the actual factory location must be kept a secret. A secrecy deal is made!
The launch date is revealed; not unlike some Hollywood blockbuster movie hitting the screens. A few celebs are chosen to receive complimentary jars of the new jam (sorry 'spread'), and there is a tension in the air as jars are opened at various nouveau riche breakfast tables across California. Jam-expert young actresses give their opinions, and the jam (sorry 'spread') is declared OK, but no more! The fact that it's runny annoys some, but in general it's said to be almost as good as Bonne Maman, or Welch's; although the price of $14 for just 215g is said to be excessive.
Miss perfect is also said to be producing Flower sprinkles (whatever they are), Shortbread Cookie mix (Betty Crocker?), Honey, and Tea Bags; all produced from 'her own imaginary kitchen'.
I will give MM one piece of advice; don't try selling in the UK. People here are not that gullible. We like our Jam not to dribble off our toast, we like our Shortbread biscuits to be ready-made from Scotland, we like our Honey to come from a small producer at a Farmer's Market, we want our Tea to come from Twining's, and as for the Flower Sprinkles (whatever they are) I suggest they are sprinkled somewhere else!
Thursday, 10 April 2025
Noah's Ark.
Wednesday, 9 April 2025
Anarchy in the UK.
In about 1965 I attended an 'Anarchist Meeting' in a room above a Pub' behind The National Gallery. I had been walking through Trafalgar Square with a friend, when someone thrust a flyer into my hand advertising the meeting which we noted was to begin within the hour, and we fancied a pint anyway.
We went to the Pub', drank our beers, then (for amusement's sake) went upstairs to see what the Anarchists were up to!
They were a pretty odd bunch (not unlike the lot above). More angry about being oddballs I suspected, than anything to do with changing society or righting grievances.
We listened to them for about 15 mins. They wanted to bring London to a standstill by 'short-circuiting' The Tube, blocking roads, and a few other things that I don't remember.
These were attention-seeking dreamers wo had taken the wrong course in life.. There was no logic in their beliefs, and their threats were frankly pathetic. It was all very low IQ. We quit the meeting discreetly, and when we left the Pub' we just happened to see a policeman.
I told him that there was an Anarchist Meeting going on upstairs, and that they were planning to disrupt London life. He just smiled and said "Oh I wouldn't worry about that lot; they're always up there spouting the same old rubbish". "We know who they are!".
So that was it. They were plotting away, in their own little world, and no-one took any notice of them; not even the Cops.
It was all rather sad!
Tuesday, 8 April 2025
Interior Design Masters
Monday, 7 April 2025
Men Behaving Badly - Barbeque
Sunday, 6 April 2025
Salad Days.
Here we go again.
I'm looking forward to a week where I can report bad behaviour from Tories, Liberals, Greens, or Farage's bunch; but for the moment it's only the Socialists who provide anything news-worthy, and even that isn't very exciting.
British Birmingham MP (yes, British) Tahir Ali, has been campaigning to build a new airport in Kashmir. WHAT? It seems that many of his Pakistani Birmingham constituents have to travel for many hours to get to their nearest airport before returning to Birmingham from their Pakistani homes. Ali has already been in trouble over his silly Kashmir airport nonsense, so I won't make it any worse for him; but shouldn't he be looking after British affairs, not Pakistani ones? Birmingham certainly needs his help; at present it's buried under 17,000 tons of stinking household rubbish, and huge rats are running wild. Apparently the stench is becoming all invasive.
It's good to know that everything's going well in the People's Socialist Republic of Birmingham (an outpost of Pakistan).
This one's a classic. After the disgraceful expenses claim by Tory MP Peter Viggers, back in 2009, for a 'Duck Island and Duck House', we now have another crazy expenses claim from fragrant Socialist MP Taiwo Owatemi for £900 for her doggy-woggy Cockapoo 'Bella'. Her charming second-home landlord has imposed an extra £900 'dog-rent' for Bella, and Owatemi wanted us taxpayers to fork-out. Is that really what MP's 'expenses' are for? Shame on her!
Saturday, 5 April 2025
Price comparisons.
Friday, 4 April 2025
NOT a Cornish Pasty
Thursday, 3 April 2025
Vinted
Wednesday, 2 April 2025
Poor Billy.
Tuesday, 1 April 2025
Tr*mp shoves fellow leader
There is one person's name on most people's lips at the moment, butz not necessarily for the best reasons. I suppose if there's one major criticism I have of Tr*mp, this short video from about 7 years ago (below) illustrates it perfectly. Pompous and arrogant.
Monday, 31 March 2025
Traditional Sussex gastronomy.
Although we have plenty of excellent restaurants around, we have very few dishes that suggest that they actually hail from god's own county of Sussex.
I suppose the two best known are Sussex Pond (above), and Banoffee Pie. I've only eaten Sussex Pond once, and the maker had made it far too sweet; and as for the more recent Banoffee Pie, it's really not my bag.
Belloc said that all Cheese made in Sussex is simply called 'Cheese' because we have no need to extol its virtues by giving it silly place-names. He was right!
There is a Sussex Pie, but having looked at the recipe I would simply call it Apple Pie.
There is also a little known dish called Sussex Hog Pudding, which is a type of sausage made from non-sausage materials, and should probably be relegated to 'the dustbin of history'.
Incidentally; I have recently heard that there is to be a 'Sussex Jam' sold in the USA. May I suggest that this is NOT Sussex Jam, and I would NOT recommend anyone buying any. It may well contain traces of toxic 'bullying attitude'.
Sunday, 30 March 2025
Another fascinating week.
Saturday, 29 March 2025
Saffron Walden.
In the 16th and 17th Centuries the town was known for its Saffron production; hence the name.
Friday, 28 March 2025
Unknown talents
Thursday, 27 March 2025
Ireland.
Forget Greenland and Canada, why doesn't Tr*mp point his colonial ambitions towards a United Ireland?
I'm sure they'd love to become the 51st US State. They've always had a very good relationship with the USA. They were often helped by the US to raise funds for the IRA, and various Presidents have openly welcomed Sinn Féin's (IRA) political representatives.
Wednesday, 26 March 2025
Kathleen Battle - "Ombra Mai Fu. Handel
Tuesday, 25 March 2025
Amazing Boris Johnson netball shot
Monday, 24 March 2025
Countryfile.
If you wish to see the UK at its best, you should watch the BBC's TV programme, 'Countryfile'.
Peaceful music, prancing Lambs, and the ever-youthful John Craven, make the programme unmissable Sunday afternoon viewing.
The UK's wildlife is always on view, projects to reintroduce lost species are always shown, and life in the countryside always at the fore; as well as looking to the health of our coastal waters.
This is a programme for country folk, for people like me who try to pretend that nasty aggressive inner city life doesn't exist. We want to see Robins nesting, Foxes with their cubs, and black and white Dogs doing what they do best. We want to hear how our countryside is being protected, and how traditional country sports are still there to ensure a healthy population of wild-life.
If you wish to breathe some fresh mountain air, soak yourself in gentle English sunshine, or give your wellies their first outing for months, then watch Craven & Co as they show us the very best of our countryside.
The programme's presenters are all good, honest, country folk. They don't shout, go on strike, or carry insulting banners. They are 'Middle England' decent folk, who care for their environment. John Craven, the senior presenter, is just as he was X years ago on Blue Peter, and most men are in love with Ellie Harrison. There's a lot to be said for 'Countryfile'.
Sunday, 23 March 2025
Another depressing week goes by.
The week started with big bruhaha on the government benches. It wasn't only the Tories who were complaining, Starmer's own backbenchers were also up in arms about cutting disability payments, affecting 3.6 Million claimants. Certain Labour MP's really didn't want to return to their constituencies having to face those who will be clobbered. They already have to deal with angry pensioners, farmers, and business people. A semi U-Turn looks likely. Who will they upset next? There's a mini-budget coming-up next week.
If you wondered what happened to amateur pugilist Mike Amesbury, he has now quit as an MP. No-one is surprised. The by-election should be interesting.
I do hope you don't need to catch trains on the East coast. Recently one of their train drivers was sacked, so the others, who are all paid a minimum of £72,223 p.a., will be going on strike for 56 days. The train drivers Union, Aslef, claims that the driver was 'unfairly dismissed'. Well, they would say that, wouldn't they!
STOP PRESS. The Africans occupying The Gaité Lyrique theatre in Paris, have now all been booted out by the CRS. I believe they were very 'firm' with their removal techniques. About bloody time.
It is now estimated that 286 excellent schools will close due to the Socialist 'Education Tax'. Have these people absolutely no idea about what they're doing? If you force the very best schools in the country to close, the inevitable result is a lowering of standards. One has to presume that that is their aim!
On the High Street, 95 branches of the bank Santander will close (7 of which are here in Sussex), with the loss of 750 jobs. It doesn't get any better. Rachel from Accounts' plan is working well; everyone in the UK will soon be out of work. Poor old Britain!
In 'the olden days' it was expected that the taxes of the young would pay for the pensions of the old. These days the old continue to work after retirement age so that 1.3 Million people can sit around and do eff-all, claiming benefits. It's a funny old world! If Labour can sort this out; good for them!
And in the downtrodden People's Republic of Birmingham, the Rats are still running riot, and people are attacking the bin-men. Hey Ho.