How do you get a job with the Met Office?
Well, you obviously don't need any sort of traditional qualifications. What you will need is to own two things; a long piece of Seaweed, and a window (possibly with a view onto a field of Cows).
As all amateur students of Meteorology are aware, the piece of Seaweed is a foolproof weather predictor. If it's dry, the Seaweed will be dry, and if it's wet, it's either raining or it has just been.
The window is for looking outside. Not only will it tell the amateur Boffin if it's night or day, it will also tell him/her quite a bit about the current weather. And if you should see some Cows lying down, it could mean that they're tired.
Yesterday my Brighton forecast told me that we would have torrential rain all week. Now it tells me that the sun will shine for ever more. I have no idea who composes the online weather predictions, but I'm seriously wondering if he/she shouldn't invest in a new piece of Seaweed.
It's OK if you live in Manchester, Glasgow, or Auchtermuchty, where you can confidently set your weather forecast permanently to RAIN, but elsewhere on these islands things are not so certain.
As in Italy where Traffic Lights are regarded as simply a 'Suggestion', in the UK I think that the Met Office should warn readers that their forecasts are 'For Entertainment Only'.
How do they always seem to get things so terribly WRONG.
Actually, the number one requirement is an ability to lie with a straight face. Most of the output from the UK Met Office these days is fantasy stories from toys (otherwise known as computer models), based on a frequently rewritten temperature history of the country.
ReplyDeleteIf it rained on this day over the previous five years, then it will probably rain today. Yup, that sounds about right.
DeleteThat gave me a laugh. You are right. Just look out of the window . Last night it said rain for today in Derby. This morning it says sun/ cloudy. Probably say something different by mid morning.
ReplyDeleteWith all the technology they have, you'd think they could plot rain clouds.
DeleteOne of the good things here is that there are no surprises in the weather, no rain until October. The forecasters are always right here.
ReplyDeleteAsk them if you could have some rain at night. Once a week would be enough.
DeleteWell, why don't you observe the sky and its clouds yourself? Get all your barometers out. Let the unpredictable elements not stand in your way. Surprise! Or let your arthritis playing up announce that rain most "likely". Next you'll ask Michael Fish for a refund.
ReplyDeleteU
I remember Michael Fish telling us about the word for 'Rain that falls from a cloudless sky'. I forgot the word so I wrote to him asking to remind me. He said he'd never heard of such a word. He must have previously been reading a script.
DeleteCro, melodic and oh so poetic. "Rain that falls from a cloudless sky". Makes my heart sing.
DeleteThanks for bringing back a long ago memory of mine, earliest childhood. They are called sun showers; Serein in French - not a cloud in sight, fine, barely noticeable, drizzle. The wonder of it - not least as they are as rare as four leaves clover.
U
That's the word. Serein; I wonder why Fish didn't know it?
DeleteThis made me laugh!
ReplyDeleteWe have a very fancy online weather forecast for the whole country, area by area, hour by hour and town by town, so I can get an idea of how it's going to be - if I don't want to look out of the window that is! Usually the forecast is fairly accurate - but then it's usually sunny so no big surprise.
We have the same, but still they get it wrong. I don't really mind, as I find the window test the most accurate.
DeleteThat 'They' are not always wrong is the problem.
ReplyDeleteThe only one I've known to apologise was Fish, and even that was half-hearted. We lost dozens of nearby trees overnight.
DeleteI have got 2 weather apps on my phone and they rarely tell me the same thing. One of them " Rain Today" is the most accurate as it shows on a map ( radar?) where it is raining and which way it is going and when it will get there. I can see that you might just get the edge of some rain in an hour or so! The BBC app is the worst!
ReplyDeleteI've just looked at my online forecast which says it will rain from 2 pm to 9 pm. I might pop down to Coral's and place a £5 bet that it doesn't.
DeleteWell, I just wish it would stop raining every day and we could have some much needed warmth.
ReplyDeleteWe've been promised far more rain than we've received. I'm not complaining!
DeleteOur forecast is too general. Frequently the North, west and south of the island experience different weather at the same point in time due to that big lump of rock in the middle.
ReplyDeleteA coastal town can often have very different weather than a town a few miles inland. It's all very localised.
DeleteI am sure they used to get the weather right years ago .... you would think, with all the technology at their fingertips, they would be spot on but NO !!!! .... and, I think that many of the weather presenters are from reality programmes nowadays ! XXXX
ReplyDeleteYears ago they really did have a long piece of Seaweed, and it worked.
DeleteI think you are simply subscribing to a national myth. More often than not, weather forecasts are accurate - especially if meteorologists are just looking 36 hours ahead. The further forward in time the more problematic the predictions become.
ReplyDeleteThey seem to be more accurate when they foresee dry weather, than when they predict rain.
DeleteWe are like Yael. It's hardly worth watching the weather forecast for the next few months. It will be hot hot and even hotter. Still 3 tv channels manage to give 3 different predictions.
ReplyDelete'Experts' here also predict the next years weather according to the weather in August. Not sure how it's done. They're about as accurate as the meteologists. Sometimes they get it right, sometimes they don't.
Like so many people; they're right 50% of the time!
DeleteThe weather is a roll of the dice. When rain is predicted, someone gets rain but not everybody. Recently,. I drove 10 minutes from my house and left in the sunshine only to enter torrential rain.
ReplyDeleteThat's right. Weather is 'localised' and can't be right for everyone.
DeleteMany years ago whilst harvesting on the farm that I grew up on, we found one of the Met Office radio sonde balloon instrument packs in a field. The attached card gave a return address for the instrument pack, and an indication that if delivered personally we could get a tour round the Met Office. It is a real regret of mine that circumstances prevented us making that visit, I would have loved to have had the tour.
ReplyDeleteI once found something similar in the woods in France. It was very old and 'moth-eaten' so I didn't bother sending it back.
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