Caring for the sick, disabled, and elderly is a subject about which much has been written recently. Carers think they aren't appreciated, are underpaid, and are much maligned. They are right!
This is work often undertaken by immigrants who will do almost anything to earn some money; however paltry.
Most carers work for independent, private, companies, who pay their workers peanuts whilst charging their clients a fortune. I recently heard of a man paying £1,000 per week for two hours attention, seven days a week; that works out at over £71 an hour, for which the carers themselves were paid about £8 an hour (if that). £100-ish for the carer, and £900 for the company, and that's just for ONE person's care. Someone somewhere is earning a bloody fortune on the backs of the incapacitated.
Back in the early 1980's my people asked if I would return to the UK to look after them. They were both in 'terminal' ill health, and I was happy to be in a position where I could be of assistance. My mother died a couple of years later, and father soon became a double amputee. I was in shock, to say the least.
When told he would be returning home (with no legs), I remember asking the people at the hospital how I was supposed to cope. 'Oh, don't worry' they assured me 'you will have an army of carers coming to look after him'. I took him home and waited.
Of course no-one came, no-one phoned, and frankly no-one cared. I was left to cope alone. I shall leave the daily chores to your imagination.
So, I know something of what carers have to deal with; I've been there.
Personally I think the 'caring profession' should be State, NHS, managed. This should not be a money making scheme for eager cost-cutting businessmen. The Care Home racket is bad enough; the Visiting Carer racket is becoming even worse.
Bravo Cro. That was a marvellous thing you did and must have been incredibly difficult without help. I helped look after my in-laws and know how much work and committment is involved. Not easy.
ReplyDeleteNowadays families still look after the elderly in the home but often have help from immigrants who as you say will do any job but most are quite well paid here
The cost of 'caring' has become ridiculous in the UK, because too many unscrupulous people are cashing in. I have nothing against the people who run these businesses making some money, but to make so much, when paying their workers so little, is immoral.
DeleteI admire what you did Cro. You were in a position to do it which was fortunate for your parents.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a youngster my maternal grandmother took into her home and looked after an elderly relative who was blind, had dementia and had no control of her bodily functions. Many of our neighbours when I was a child were looked after by family (and friends) in their own homes and when things got to bad for anyone to cope they went into a home. They were not pleasant places. Few of the neighbours could afford the luxury of staff or pay for private nursing home care.
There are still families looking after elderly relatives but life has moved on and children often live nowhere near their parents and moving is often not an option and houses often too small to accommodate elderly parents in addition to the family.
So what you describe has become the norm. As we get older as a population this ill become such an expensive problem for the country that all I can say is that I'm glad I'm not the one having to sort out that problem.
It used to be quite common here to see several generations all living in the same house. It happens less so now. They've even had to build a huge new 'old folks' home in our nearest town.
DeleteSome things aren't so different the world over. But having said that, some countries do care for the elderly quite well. England used to do it well enough when my partner's mother was alive in the 80s and 90s.
ReplyDeleteWhilst I was looking after my father, I occasionally had to take a break. We had a local Cottage Hospital who'd look after him for a couple of weeks, whilst I re-charged my batteries. It was a very good system, now long gone.
DeleteThere surely would still be some sort of respite care system. R's sister was a warden at an elderly person's care block. They lived independently in their own rooms but she was there to check on them, make sure they ate properly and organise outings and entertainment. This was in the Newcastle Upon Tyne area, so maybe it depends a lot on what local council you are under. That, fortunately, is less important here.
DeleteA cousin much older than me used to talk of 'The Angels of Mercy'. Nuns who helped families look after their elderly relatives at home. This was done 'in the service of the Lord'. I don't believe any money changed hands.
ReplyDeleteLooking after your parents was obviously a very tough time. How lovely that you were there for them. x
I don't regret it one bit now, but there were times when I could have just walked out. Usually a beer or two made me re-think.
DeleteIn Scotland we do things a bit differently. All our elderly are entitled to free personal care max 4x day with 2 overnight calls.
ReplyDeleteAll care companies are regulated by social work and given the same flat fee.
Sure is not perfect and can be weeks to match care.
However doing this has saved our NHS millions as we have less granny dumping, I'e when families can,t cope and take granny to hospital then walk away.
Typically 1 night in an NHS hospital costs £1500 so a huge saving. Not that anyone pays that of course but just an example.
A flat fee for the Care Co's would be a good idea in England. I find it offensive that they make so much money from the vulnerable. We all know who these people are too!
DeleteYour parents were lucky to have a son like you. Here it is also a problem with more and more old people with no family to care for them.
ReplyDeleteI would suggest that it's normal for a son to 'pay back' for all that THEY did for me.
DeleteBravo it must have been not easy with your small children and a wife or did they stay in France or maybe you took your parents to France. That's why I love so much North African families , they take care of all their relatives until the end.
ReplyDeleteThey stayed in Southern England.
DeleteI should think that in North Africa, there's not much choice!
Yes, my mother had 'care' twice a day for four years after suffering a stroke. Fortunately for her my father then in his 80s was her prime carer supported by twice weekly visits by me and help from my brothers. I had a career and teenage children but still feel I should have done more. It was an exhausting period but my mother remained at home until four days before her death when she was admitted to hospital with pneumonia and my darling dad died at home in his sleep having never been ill in his life.
ReplyDeleteIt's something we never think about until it's presented on a plate. Then the shock hits home. We can only do so much.
DeleteWe live too long. All this screening and tablets being handed out isn't helping the situation. My grandparents in the 1970s just dropped dead after lifetimes of no illness and no screening to prolong their lives into living hells. 50% of today's 10 year olds are going to live to 103 I read last week. We will not cope. We cared for my mother at home, quite able to do this on farm. Her life was prolonged by unnecessary visits to hospital and tablets but no great quality of life for the last four years. We seem to be frightened to face that people have to die and are going to die.
ReplyDeleteI have given instructions to allow any serious illness to take its course. I really don't want hospitals, operations, nasty treatments, etc.
DeleteThank You! This is so true. As a nurse I see it on a regular basis the "you have to do everything" mentality.
DeleteSure your 99yo demented, incontinent, bed bound mother is a full code!
I swear some people are on so many medications, if you shook them, they would rattle.
And the sad thing is they see it as a right.
It is a bloody shambles over here, with the best hope you sell your house to go into care, but time it wrong and the money runs out, your jiggered. Living in a money strapped country with outdated social care, people living longer but not healthy lives is a smoking gun! We own our own house which is a safeguard, but as always we have worked, paid our taxes to again be let down. I fear for our kids and their families they will have nothing, which is OK if you get on and are able to save, for those who struggle it's never going to get better.
ReplyDeleteMrs May seemed to suggest that we'll all have to hand over our property if we go into care. This will probably only make people wary about owning property.
DeleteI totally agree Cro. And as one rapidly reaching the age when I might need such care (I am after all 84) I contemplate such things and despair how people are taken for a ride
ReplyDeleteIt's a cynical trade. Just when people are vulnerable, the rogues fleece them of all their savings.
DeleteI agree that social welfare like caring should be state-run. So should the prison service. Getting private companies like G4 to run prisons is sickening. They would dearly love to privatise the NHS and the BBC too.
ReplyDeleteIt seems wrong to me that privateers should benefit hugely from an ageing, vulnerable, population.
DeleteYes Tom I agree, works here for elderly!. Not so much for under 60.s needing home care but Hollyrood are working on it.
ReplyDeleteState regulated care saves the NHS here millions plus people are not stressed, know they will get care provided.
With state regulated care, every carer needs to be police checked and undergo mandatory training. Safety, moving and handling, health and welfare etc with private companies not so.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first started paying my National Insurance stamps, we were told it was for 'Cradle to the Grave' care. Somewhere along the line they changed the contract!
DeleteThey ran out of money, and have not changed with our changing world.
DeleteYes, just we can,t afford people living so much longer!.
ReplyDeleteBut England could do the same as Scotland re free personal care, would save Billions from NHS budget.
But don't think it will happen, means increasing social work budget and lowering NHS one. Headlines would only be Government slashed NHS budget . bigger picture would not be seen me thinks.
We have publically funded nursing homes here. Some good, some not so good. There are also private facilities. My mother was in a good one, newly built, for the last couple of years of her life. My mother-in-law is in an older, not as good one, presently and is on a waiting list for a better one. The waiting lists are ridiculously long. It has taken a year for her to reach the top of the list. We are called the "sandwich" generation, where we look after our aging parents at the same time we are looking after our not yet adult children. (Yes, mother in law lived with us for a while, while we worked full time!). -Jenn
ReplyDelete'Sandwich generation' is a good term. It used to be that grandparents took care of their grandchildren, whilst the parents went out to work. It was a good system that seems to have been lost.
DeleteI couldn't agree more. The private sector should not be making a profit from seniors. I paid extra for my Mom who wanted to be home for as long as possible. I was still working and it helped her. It sure wasn't cheap and the home support worker earned very little. I quickly hired here directly.
ReplyDeleteMy Dr.'s nurse is from the UK and she scolded me for not taking a respite week off every 5th week while caring for my Mom. I'm into my 5th year and she is absolute right.Mom is going into a nursing home next week while I spend a week with my grand kids and Daughter. I can't wait!
ReplyDeleteIf I hadn't done that once a year, I would have gone mad. I'm not sure about every 5th week though.
DeleteJane sure you hired her directly, did you pay in to her pension and national insurance?.Help her her a job when your parent died?. Guess not . Maybe you did?. Only most desperate will take on one to one care privately!.Usually immigrants or really poor with bad references!.
ReplyDeleteActually I did. I also helped her to move on to another job and further education. She is now an RNA. Keep in mind she helped my Mom with light care giving and not intense nursing care. My mom was losing her eye sight. I am fully aware that their work can be precarious, at least here in Canada.
DeleteAs when a carers taken on privately and a person dies they have no work!. No benefits either.
ReplyDeleteI am so in agreement - I find it abhorrent that this kind of care is in the hands of private companies. Too often corners are cut.
ReplyDeleteEloise