The fragrant Rachel Reeves has kindly offered me the post of Chancellor for one day. Here are my proposed policies.
1. Increase OAP Winter Fuel Payments to the same level as Ms Reeves herself claimed for heating her second home, i.e. £740 pa.
2. Reduce Train drivers salaries to just £60,000 pa.
3. Sack most non-essential NHS managers.
4. Build more prisons.
5. Reduce tax on Beer, Wine, and Pork Pies. Increase tax on Cigarettes, Tobacco, and Rucksacks.
6. Reduce house rates by 50%.
7. Reduce High Street business rates by 50%.
8. Introduce Road Tax for Caravans, and trailers over 10ft long, and tax private cars according to horse power, and/or cubic capacity. Under 1500cc free; over 1500cc, £500 pa and rising.
9. All under-18's will be fined £1 per minute for any mobile phone usage over one hour per day.
10. Introduce a bonus scheme for all OAP's who don't eat/drink in the street, and who don't drop litter (maybe £100 per week).
There, you see; it's all quite simple. I guarantee my budget would be far more popular than Ms Reeves'.
As an aside to the train drivers pay - one of my previous work colleagues had a job for a while as a bus driver, and he (and I) could never understand why train drivers were paid so much more than bus drivers - their train rides on its own track without having to take into account the behaviour of other vehicles, they don't have to deal with bolshie passengers and act as ticket collectors as well as drive. Altogether an easier job I would have thought?
ReplyDeleteI think a train has THREE CONTROLS; go, stop, and faster/slower. One has to wonder how long the training lasts!
DeleteHey you. Leave the smokers alone. If smokers buy their tobacco in Portugal it is 8EU/packet and here its £24.00/packet. Portuguese tobacco is also safer, the incidence of lung cancer in Portugal is around 20%/capita less than in the UK. From this I deduce that it's the tax that causes the problem. Time for another rollup.
ReplyDeleteAs a life-long smoker of Gauloises (until 1998) I am allowed to take the high-n-mighty attitude that ALL ex-smokers take.
DeleteOur pathetic internet does not like you today. Comments to or from you are being blocked. Ms Reeves is on to you.
ReplyDelete3rd time lucky?
It knows that you're on holiday, and is trying to throw spanners in your wheels!
DeleteAll sounds pretty sensible to me.
ReplyDeleteAnd me. Maybe I should apply for the job.
DeleteRachel Reeves is indeed "fragrant" as she showers daily, uses under arm deodorant and frequently sprays herself with a moderately priced perfume from "Boots". As she is in the pubic eye, she also like to make sure that her underwear and day clothes are clean and ironed. Rachel was a chess champion as a girl and achieved a Master of Science degree in economics from the London School of Economics. Yes, she is indeed "fragrant".
ReplyDeleteShe seems to know how to subtract more than to add! Perhaps she missed that lesson, when she was in the shower?
DeleteSorry Cro, I don't think you'll get the job! You can't go giving away money to those who deserve it most - that's not the way the new government thinks.
ReplyDeleteSpoil sport! I was just trying to show some sympathy.
DeleteCro for Chancellor. I agree with all your suggestions.
ReplyDeleteGood, we must form a new party!
DeleteLook at Biden, you too are too old for politics lol
ReplyDeleteI was already too old for politics at 25.
DeleteI'm sure that you or anyone else would do a better job than RR ..... I don't care how fragrant she is !!! XXXX
ReplyDeleteShe's certainly thrown herself in at the deep end, and then all those revelations about her second-home heating bills.... Oh dear; who'd be a politician.
DeleteEverything is costly today. People need a living wage. The job market is strong and people are getting good salaries.
ReplyDeleteHomes are in short supply and are more expensive than ever before. Rents are high too. A trip to the grocery store is often $100.
I know of two nearby houses to let that are over £4,000 per month. How can anyone afford that???
DeleteHere, here. Sounds like common sense , which I believe there is not a politician who has any whatsoever. '
ReplyDeleteWhat happened with doing what is best for the country for the people of the country?
They all lie whilst electioneering, and people are gullible enough to believe them. It's only when they win that we realise the truth of their plans. Our present lot are the perfect example.
Delete